Reasons why i "DONT" want him!

The sheer audacity. The self contradictions. The lies he told others about me. I wouldn't have hurt a fly, but he thought I was so evil. projection, projection, projection. the entitlement complex. He felt entitled to: my money my family's kind regards my apartment, otherwise he would have been homeless my car, transportation whenever, wherever my vagina, whenever he wanted it. (sorry to sound crass, but that's the reality of things) He would drive, when he actually had access to a vehicle of his own, over 60 miles at 3 am to my place to sleep with me, full well knowing I had to get up early in the morning and go to classes. the gaslighting. the blame for his own anger and impotence in life. Complaining about how his father completely screwed him and his siblings up as a boy, then being his best friend after the D&D calling his mom and telling her I was Bi-Polar (WTF? He doesnt even know what it means. If the uneducated fucker wanted to project a little more effectively, he would have called me a narc trying to convince me I was depressed and needed counseling/medicine holding that over my head telling me he would leave if I didnt go. Telling ppl that he had "been trying to get me to the altar for years" when in fact he's the one who called of our wedding 2X. There's more but I would have to write it in seperate volumes. If he tried to contact me, I seriously would DIE laughing. My physical heart couldnt take it.

the lying the crying the victim mode the taking me with him to the abyss the name calling. but most of all the negative affect he had on me, that changed me into someone i didnt like.

number 8 is one of thosse weird ones they all have which would just make us think he was either dumb or over-logical, but it ins't so! i thought i just bored mine... so freakin' weird

I am always amazed at how similar all of these N's are. I'm sure they are all different ages, from different backgrounds, in different circumstances - yet they can all be summed up with the same list of characteristics. Everything on your list is exactly why I finally left my N. 13 - The inability to acknowledge my achievements is one that recently came to mind. I studied art in college and used to love to draw. Once I began a career in design and had started my family, my spare time is very little, so I don't have much spare time to get back to my drawing. My N had seen some of my drawings from my past life and instead of praising my talents and "reflecting" back to me how good I was at something, he said this: "I'm not sure you really did all of these drawings yourself because I never see you drawing anything" Of course, he would praise me in front of other people and tell them how talented I was and say that he was always trying to encourage me to get back to my artwork - it was a waste to have such a talent and not use it. But to me, he would just criticize me for not drawing anymore and insinuate that I was lazy. This is the kind of behavior that I would endure over and over and over until eventually, it didn't even seem as bad - I had come to expect it. And the worst part is that I actually started feeling like I WAS lazy because I didn't carve out the time in my very busy life to draw. Early in the relationship, I had taken one of my drawings that I was most proud of, had it framed very nicely and gave it to the N as a birthday gift. It took him awhile to hang it in his house but he finally did (in the other city). When he moved here and bought a new house, he never hung the drawing anywhere (he's lived here for over 2 years). After I ended the engagement, I let myself into the house (he wasn't there) to get my remaining belongings and grabbed the drawing and took it back! That REALLY pissed him off. Good for me - he deserved to have it taken away and I really am glad that I have it back - something that I can give to one of my children someday.