returned his Christmas gifts

14 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 23 - 10AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

returned his Christmas gifts

I returned all my N's Christmas gifts this week. I had really put a lot of thought into them and really couldn't wait to return them it has all made me so angry. I was glad to get the cash and I spent that money on myself instead. My son is done and I figured I would do a better job buying myself something than the N ever could.
I can't believe I had the energy to return what I had. I surprised myself that I didn't do what I would normally do and keep that stuff just in case. Or because I didn't have the energy. I did it and it's done.
I don't have a fond memory of Christmas with the N because he created drama for every single Holiday. I am just pushing through and trying very hard. It's hard to not look at my phone for emails though. It's like I am waiting for him to say something else. I hope he doesn't. I have absolutely no way of looking at his fb now so that's very very good. Just feel alone. Something I need to deal with.

Dec 23 - 5PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Happy1

You sound STRONG and DETERMINED, you will get tot the other side of NARVILLE, way to go!!!!
Dec 23 - 5PM (Reply to #13)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

thanks onwithmylife

I hope to get to the other side soon enough so I don't think of him as often and he's just a faint bad nightmare memory. 8-)
Dec 23 - 3PM
spinning
spinning's picture

Way to go, Happy

Thank you for posting this. You did great work and sound very determined to keep it up. It's hard work but every time one of us does something like this and shares I actually feel the momentum pulling me (us) ahead. Blessings to you all this holiday season and always. Happy, way to go!!! XOXOXOX Sincerely (determined to stop) spinning

spinning

Dec 23 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

spinning

Thank you! Everyone here is an inspiration. I cannot believe how much this message board helps me when I'm feeling bad. It really helps to know there's others here that feel the same struggles and are pulling through or already have and can share how it feels to have conquered this. Happy Holiday's! Hugs!
Dec 23 - 12PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Woop Woop so good for you

Woop Woop so good for you Happy 1 , Next Christmas all will be diffrent if you stay no contact from this freak and you will keep suprising youre self at youre strenght . Lord know i look back and wonder how the hell did i do what i did and go nc , i have to pinch myself that it been a year and im still doing it and you will be the same sweetie . As time goes by , bit by bit you will get back to normal , im so proud of you , what you did was a huge step foward so give youreself a hug ... xxx
Dec 23 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

scoop!

Thank you so much! I feel like I'm pushing forward and forcing myself through this uncomfortableness. It is like I'm uncomfortable in my own skin right now. I just had to stop at Wal-Mart on my way home for groceries and few last minute presents. I'm normally a very fast walker and I caught myself walking very slow almost in a daze and it took me forever to get out of there. I tried to pick my step up a bit to move it, but it was like I was walking through a big pile of mud or something. I hope to be where you are in a year and look back at this all in amazement as you are. I'm looking forward to that 1 year mark. Thank you again Scoop and Happy Holiday's to you! Happy1
Dec 23 - 12PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

Yeah for you Happy1

There is a sense of power when you return or get rid of their thing. Let me tell you When I knew I had enough and was done with my NH I took all of the diamonds and precious jewelry that he had given me over the years and sold them to a jeweler and took the money and treated myself to some spiritual healing. And I instantly knew that he and I would never be again! I cleaned my house from top to bottom to get rid of anything from him. His stuff brought bad vibes and energy to my home and now all I feel when i enter my home is peace. Yes sometimes I am alone but never lonely. I have friends and family and 2 beautiful granddaughters. You will be okay. Just believe it and you will achieve it. Peace!

victimnomore

Dec 23 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

happy1

i am so glad for you, you and your son is who matters , they ruin every christmas any way. your feeling empty and alone, i feel b/c in your heart you know you are withdrawing from him, as we do each time it hurts, then you take another little step and so on until that day you relize, you realy dont want any thing to do with him, and you were way to good for him all the time.
Dec 23 - 11AM
truetotruth
truetotruth's picture

Happy 1

I am so proud of you. This was an extremely difficult task and you did it. What you did was NOT easy so take pride int he fact that you plunged ahead. I think the items like many other things are invisible strings. You have cut another tie to a toxic part of your life. I have always said that this process ( at least for me) has been like a death. When someone dies you want to hang on to the memory, hang on to anything that reminds you,the invisble strings are held close. I am so sorry you are feeling alone...after I deleted my ex's words yesterday I felt hallow but I also felt that it was necessary to heal. You are dealing with it. You are not alone. We are all here for you. You did the right thing and I hope that you spolied yourself and that you know somewhere deep inside you did the RIGHT thing. :) love and light
Dec 23 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

truetotruth

I appreciate that you understand how hard it really was for me. I'm not a lazy person by any means but for me to return those items that meant so much. I unwrapped each one and returned it all. I tried not to put much thought into unwrapping them. I just forced myself to do it. It almost felt like when you know you're not feeling well but you still have to get up and go to work or take care of your children. I felt that sense of survival instinct almost? I know that sounds weird but it's like I'm in survival mode of just do and not think mode. I appreciate your support. Thank you! Happy1
Dec 23 - 11AM
Journey
Journey's picture

Happy1

You did a good thing for yourself and your son by returning his gifts - you are getting YOU back. My narc doesn't like Christmas either, too much sentiment for him I guess. Journey on...

Journey on...

Dec 23 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Used
Used's picture

journey

My narc doesn't like Christmas either, too much sentiment for him I guess. i believe its b/c its such a big build up to a big day, when the attention will be taken away from them...sad sods
Dec 23 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Journey
Journey's picture

Shallow emotions

I think it might have more to do with shallow emotions and not really caring about others. Seeing the way other people are at Christmas (giving and loving), is probably too confusing for them so they just block the whole event out. Mine would never tell me why he found Christmas depressing and I didn't question it because I find it that way a little too. I always figured it had to do with not being able to be with his sons or from painful childhood memories. Maybe it is, or maybe he just doesn't care enough about others to enjoy the connection to friends and loved ones that the Christmas season celebrates for so many. Journey on...

Journey on...