Ruby01's Story

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#1 May 30 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Ruby01's Story

My experience has, not unlike all of yours, proven to be humiliating, shocking,and mostly thought provoking. I really don't want to complain because I understand everyone is where they are because of their own doing (choices). I chose this man who I have come to realize has been playing me all along. Oddly enough I'm not really angry now. Oh I have been, don't get me wrong.

I have been involved with this man for 12 years and in the beginning was crazy about him. After being D&D'd more times than I can count, which before coming to this forum I more lovingly called "chapters" in a novel that rather than being a Romance has ultimately become a Tragedy, I honestly see myself much more knowledgeable than going into the relationship.

I know I am high on the scale of Narcissism; However, not anywhere near malignant and I certainly do not lack empathy for any being. I think though that because of this his "aloofness" was actually appealing to me as I tend to shy away from guys that shower me with affection.

Several things have kept the morbidly sick relationship plodding along. I think because it is so sporadic that it has taken ten years for me to really understand him as opposed to in a healthy relationship you probably would know each other as well in about one year. Time is on their side.

The most binding element is that in my profession I deliver products that he orders for his business. Soooo he can basically summon me whenever he feels like it. Place an order and he knows who is going to be delivering it, on what day and at what time. Ouch! For a control freak it doesn't get any better than that!

So basically the NC theory doesn't apply to me and although I know exactly what is going on I feel like a sitting duck.

At present I tell myself I got this but I just can't keep anger towards anything for more than a couple days and then I'm over it. So unfortunately I'm having a terrible time closing the book on this one. Well girls, that's my story but I hope I'm NOT sticking to it!

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May 30 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Rudy

If you know what you are dealing with why are you putting up with it? Is he your only client? I'd rather scrub toilets Than be conroled and abused by anyone. Death and taxes are the only thing you can bet have no solutions! Think this thru, you are allowing the behavior and it needs to stop! It's your Heath and sanity that come first. Hunterl
May 30 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Rudy

You have been in this relationship for many years. Its very hard to let go. Its up to you to decide what you want to do. If you need to make a delivery, walk in, drop it off ,get a signature and leave. NC is easy the rest of the time. This man is abusing you and it needs to stop. NC is the best way to move forward. Hunter
May 30 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Maybe I didn't explain well

I work for a major package delivery company and his business is on my route. My job is extremely important to me and I thoroughly enjoy it as well. I have no choice in who I deliver to and I have to be professional at all times. Which means to me that one day I might want to walk in and scream at the top of my lungs I can't let a personal issue interfere with my work. I will just look like the crazy one to others and certainly risk losing an incredible job. So instead I keep my head up and appear to be unaffected. Sad but true. Does that explain things better? I was trying to keep distinguishing things about me hidden, but I guess to explain my situation, that,s pretty much impossible.
May 30 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

actually, I think your job

actually, I think your job could work in your favor, other than the fact that you have to see him you can be strictly and only professional have NO other contact and say nothing not related to delivering the package to him