Ruby01's Story
Ruby01's Story
My experience has, not unlike all of yours, proven to be humiliating, shocking,and mostly thought provoking. I really don't want to complain because I understand everyone is where they are because of their own doing (choices). I chose this man who I have come to realize has been playing me all along. Oddly enough I'm not really angry now. Oh I have been, don't get me wrong.
I have been involved with this man for 12 years and in the beginning was crazy about him. After being D&D'd more times than I can count, which before coming to this forum I more lovingly called "chapters" in a novel that rather than being a Romance has ultimately become a Tragedy, I honestly see myself much more knowledgeable than going into the relationship.
I know I am high on the scale of Narcissism; However, not anywhere near malignant and I certainly do not lack empathy for any being. I think though that because of this his "aloofness" was actually appealing to me as I tend to shy away from guys that shower me with affection.
Several things have kept the morbidly sick relationship plodding along. I think because it is so sporadic that it has taken ten years for me to really understand him as opposed to in a healthy relationship you probably would know each other as well in about one year. Time is on their side.
The most binding element is that in my profession I deliver products that he orders for his business. Soooo he can basically summon me whenever he feels like it. Place an order and he knows who is going to be delivering it, on what day and at what time. Ouch! For a control freak it doesn't get any better than that!
So basically the NC theory doesn't apply to me and although I know exactly what is going on I feel like a sitting duck.
At present I tell myself I got this but I just can't keep anger towards anything for more than a couple days and then I'm over it. So unfortunately I'm having a terrible time closing the book on this one. Well girls, that's my story but I hope I'm NOT sticking to it!
Rudy
Rudy
Maybe I didn't explain well
actually, I think your job