So freaking angry right now with him! Why is he doing this????

24 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 May 17 - 11AM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

So freaking angry right now with him! Why is he doing this????

What does this man want from me??? We broke up...get over it!!!

I just talked with a good friend, a mutual acquaintance. He told me that exN is constantly bringing me up on his FB wall! I said...this crap is out in the open on his wall?? {grrr} He said, yeah...

He said...dee, it's all petty crap. I said...is he trying to ruin my reputation? He said, No, it's all petty stuff. he's not using your name, but everyone knows who he's referring to. He said it's all petty crap, nothing major. He said...dee, it shows he isn't over you. THAT is what is going through people's minds reading it.

Ugh!!!!! Why is he doing this? I am going to remain NC. Don't you all worry about that. But, this really has me angry.

May 18 - 7AM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

UPDATE

Prayed about all this, earlier. I am so much stronger for having found this website, everyone. Thanks to Lisa, michele, goldie...etc for all you do here! I just wanted to say that I'm going to remove people who are his 'friends' out of my life. If that friend from yesterday reaches out...I may chat, but it will be uber brief. And not a word about him. I am going to really set boundaries up. I don't want this man in my life, anymore. If he wants to belittle me on FB, that shows he's not over me, and hopefully, people will make that rightful conclusion. I think many have, according to this friend of mine. But...moreover? My life is not entertainment for people. I think that is my main problem with FB. It seems like people treat it as a tv show. A soap opera. No. Bad enough, my private life with him played itself out on the website we belong to. If he wants to go off about me on FB, it just shows he's not over me. Hopefully...he'll stop. I prayed for him this morning, to soften his hard heart so he can find joy in this life...and stop hurting me. (and others) But..I'm doing really well. It is due to NC. It is due to not logging into that website. Staying off that website has given me space and peace. I even don't lurk that often. As an aside, I lurked last night, and he hadn't logged in yesterday. Knowing him, he is probably thinking I'm making some grand point with not logging in, so he will mirror me. lol We know they mirror. Hopefully, his baiting has stopped. But, if it hasn't...I will stay strong. I'm strong in Christ...and thank you for keeping me strong, ladies. Whatta support team we have here!!!! {{hugs}}
May 17 - 5PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

I understand how this would make you upset, another suggestion when we are engaged in NC is to let allll our friends who the Narc may employ as messengers indirectly by actions or by actually calling them up with a sob story - Narcs are quite creative - is advise them YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE NARC. AND, you make it clear that that topic is off limits. It sounds cult like to say "THE OTHERS WON'T UNDERSTAND ONLY WE DO" but unfortunately, that is the cold hard truth that has been uttered by most members...how many times have you read postings..."My friends don't understand" AND when you try to explain, you hear *crickets* DEAFENING crickets then your friends start giving you strange looks. Remember OUR cognitive dissonance? Imagine someone who has never gone through it - and then you try to explain it? Not worth the energy to get into it with a non-victim, just put them ALL on notice...you don't want to hear it. Hugs!
May 17 - 7PM (Reply to #21)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

{{{michele}}} thank you for this as always. It's interesting. This guy seems to get it. He actually told me to ignore him. But, then he sits on his fb page and what...listens to this nut rant about me? Make up stuff about me? I can't do that, see. I wouldn't be able to sit and listen to someone bad mouth you michele, and then call you up tell you about it, and then now let's talk about the weather. No. I think that unlike a normal breakup, friends of the narcs...I dunno. I think they too enjoy the entertainment factor of the narc...all his/her drama. I'm not anyone's form of entertainment. I think to myself, another reason I want to remain off that site...and perhaps never to return. Is I started to feel like my private life became part of the 'show' on there with him. He broadcast our sex life. Ugh. It was so bizarre. I told him I didn't like that. He wanted the whole world to know...I was his. Which in the beginning, seems oh so cute and charming. But, over time, that lends itself to uber controlling behaviors. I lurked tonight. He never went on today. He has to wonder where I am...and why I'm not logging in. I was talking to mer569 today on the phone, and I told her...that I'm doing this for me, BUT. I also want my absence from that site to send a message to him...I have a full life...and don't even care enough about this site anymore to even log in. I think if I were to log in, he'd think I'm still his audience, and his antics would begin again. So, NC puts us in the driver seat of our own lives. All I want is peace. I wish he wasn't bad mouthing me or whatever he's doing on FB. But, I just want peace. I want my entire life back, it's slowly getting there.
May 17 - 7PM (Reply to #22)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

Despite the weak moments and the ups and downs when you get stuck on a loop and his insanity gets to you - you really do have a really good understanding of all of this. I even noted what you said about the "friend" keep that in your back pocket. Some folks are wishy-washy and don't mean harm even though they inadvertently cause it. Eyes open be aware, but so far you seem to be doing okay...it takes a while to really get all of this out of your system and be unaffected by their *the Narc's* - stupidity. Hugs!
May 17 - 12PM
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

What an act of desperation

Using FB (which should be renamed NarcBook). One word: Pathetic.
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #18)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

My friend and I call it

My friend and I call it FuckBook because of the way it can be used to fuck with your head and your life.
May 17 - 7PM (Reply to #19)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

SK

hahahaha! I laughed out loud for real. :P
May 17 - 12PM (Reply to #17)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

lobo555

Agreed! That and match.com are feeding grounds for narcs!! They LOVE IT!!!
May 17 - 12PM
dudette
dudette's picture

Chillax!

so the guy is playing the victim... what's new? Ignore, delete, delete and ignore some more Dxxx
May 17 - 11AM
dabussard
dabussard's picture

Deidre

Mine is doing the same thing. He is telling everyone that I dumped him and that I am dating someone new already. That someone new is my husband. lol.. He is turing it around to make you look like the bad guy. Reversing the truth just like they always do. Trying to get a response from you. Stay NC.
May 17 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

D40

You got yourself a narc on a mission! Don't let him Win! You dumped him before he was finished with you. Hahaha! Hunter
May 17 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I'm grateful I don't have

I'm grateful I don't have access to FB to see this stupid nonsense. But...good Lawdie. He is talking to people we are mutually friends with on there... The guy i talked to said the people who know you dee...they just look at him bringing this stuff up as he must not be over you. I wish everyone knew what a narc was...they'd see...he's over me. He is pissed he lost control over me. That's what he's not 'over.' I'm scared he's making up lies about me. :=( And now I'm mulling over him texting me that he replaced me before we broke up. People who know me and him, they say...no way he cheated. He's telling you this dee to hurt you. I want this man out of my life! You're right Hunter! I will reply later to you all...I'm seething!
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

He's making an ass of himself

This reflects more on him than you. You don't post this kind of drama on FB. What, is he in high school? Please. This says way more about what a big baby he is. He's baiting you and looking for attention and sympathy from others.
May 17 - 3PM (Reply to #13)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

God bless all you awesome

God bless all you awesome ladies. Really! I needed to hear something positive. And this is the best place to turn to. He said something similar, SK...it sort of shows everyone, he's not over you, by posting all this out in the open. He said...he is posting how he's dating, and screwing women (on the website we belong to) in an attempt to upset you. I said...I saw his comments, and could care less what he does. I'm not replying to him. I'm not going on and on about this or that to bait him. I'm taking the higher ground. He wants to act like he's 12, so be it. Thanks everyone for helping me this afternoon.
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #11)
momoya
momoya's picture

totally baiting her!

He is such AN ASS! gosh we can tell just from her stories that he fights DIRTY. be glad so glad you are free of him. Wow I wonder what he was like during a divorce (not!) He would SO LOVE for her to react to his antics, he would get major supply just from knowing he is getting to her. Next time someone has somehting to 'share' I would be sure to inject something like "hmm. He must still be mad because I said his penis was small." :) lolo!

momoya

May 17 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

what I said was...''sour

what I said was...''sour grapes,'' lol And my friend laughed. He said...yep. I said...yeah. I mean, to keep bashing me...and bashing me. And talk about 20 yr olds you're banging. Really? Who cares? I said to him ...if he spent as much time and energy on his kids, as he does bashing me? He'd be father of the year. LET IT GET BACK TO HIM!
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

D

Do not do anything! He's baiting u! Hunter
May 17 - 7PM (Reply to #9)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I'm not. I did tell my

I'm not. I did tell my friend...''I wish I never dated that asshole.'' haha I'm sure that might get back to him, although he swears what we discuss stays between us. But, how can I be sure. You know? Although, he didn't tell me what the narc said...but, men sometimes stick together. I'm keeping him and others who associate with him and me, at an arms length. I'm done ever speaking to him. He's a mean man. I even think...dare I say...evil. He has evil in him. How does someone 'become' evil. I don't know. Like his behaviors are evil. With malice. With intent.
May 17 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
ally2375
ally2375's picture

Bad idea

You can't control what he says about you. Responding in any way just fans the flames. He will continue with this as long as you keep reacting - in fact, logic would say that he will likely step it up. I'd put good money down on another nasty text within the week. Why are you continuing to discuss with someone what he's saying on Facebook? OK, I understand WHY, but you are just torturing yourself. Accept that he's going to be an ass by slandering you in every forum he thinks may catch your attention. So what? He only makes himself look bad. I would bet anyone who's spent five minutes talking to you knows he's full of shit. You're obviously lovely, and he's an angry jerk who's making a public fool of himself. Let him dig his own grave. Meanwhile, stop getting info about him. What good is not being on Facebook if you're getting a full report from someone else?
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
momoya
momoya's picture

:)

THAT makes TOTAL Sense!;) Triangulation going on here. NS comes when they can still get to us and make us angry, and we can't stop them either. Childish and really makes him look like a sorry ass loser.ick!

momoya

May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I hadn't thought of this

I hadn't thought of this momoya. Reason being, he took off my good friends from his friends list, they told me. But, this one guy. He kept on. This guy of course announced on the idiot's page, that he speaks to me often...so now the narc is probably like...hmmm. Perfect. But, why did he take my friends off, who would have told me exactly what he had to say??? This guy wouldn't share specifics. He said it was 'petty and childish' stuff. He said...what it left me thinking dee, was how in the hell did you two hook up? Yeah, you and me both.
May 17 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

ally

Yes, ally...you are right. I don't ask what he's saying, though. I was told this outright by my friend...who is also his friend. I'm starting to think, I may need to drop ALL friends who are in some way tied to him. Serious. He deleted my one friend off of his list, because she is a good friend of mine, first. And another friend too...who he deems as 'siding' with me. But, he has kept others, and I'm of the opinion that they can't be trusted anymore. Including this one. Now, he seems like he can be trusted...but, to sit there and listen to him rant about me...on FB...then turn around and sit and chat with me. I don't like that. I have had a stomach ache since hearing this. Why. I ask myself why. I think because I am trying to close this chapter. I'm actually doing pretty well with NC. I'm not even lurking that much on that site. But, hearing this...I dunno. Just made me feel bad that I made such a stupid choice to date him. Woe is me. lol Ok...my pity party is over. I will continue to keep my head up and ignore.
May 17 - 11AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

BAD COMPANIONS RUIN GOOD

BAD COMPANIONS RUIN GOOD CHARACTER! He's a jerk! IGNORE!