Solo Travel

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#1 Oct 13 - 9PM
juliamarie
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Solo Travel

So, I just got back from another solo trip this past weekend. Every time I go somewhere alone, it just reinforces the fact that I don't need a man to make me happy. In fact, I'm finding that I have a lot more fun when I do can do what I want when I want to do it.

My Narc took me on amazing trips all over the world, but they were always ruined by his crazy behavior or a huge fight. All I get now is peace....and I'm learning that I like my own company. Do I get lonely? Yeah...sure. There was a wedding at the hotel where I was staying, but I faced it, and still managed to enjoy myself. It's a process.

But, I never would've known that I can travel alone and enjoy myself if he hadn't dumped me.

Oct 14 - 7PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Very very cool. There have

Very very cool. There have been alot of those moments for me since I got devalued and discarded. It feels good to write that I got d and d'd, in that I couldn't imagine a year and a half ago feeling that at all. Too many nice things have happened to mention. This one might be the best...the last 458 nasty rotten things someone said about me were said by the same person, and that would be the exwn. It is nice that that chapter is over, very very nice indeed. What hits a touch every now and then is when a family is walking along having a good time, but quite frankly I would jealously look at other families even when I was still with the narc. It just never jelled, always wanted it to jell, just never happened. That dream is gone, and I won't waste my life trying to re-enter that dream, it was counter-productive. I have shared here before that I found that in recovery I mistook serenity with boredom. Days would go by with no drama, and I thought, wow, things are very boring in my life. I now know it was peace and calmness that I was experiencing, and experience still. Thank you so much for sharing a special awareness and experience, quiet but huge at the same time. ds
Oct 14 - 3PM
Kukla
Kukla's picture

Julia

This is such a wonderful post in so many ways. Got a huge grin on my face that you were able to travel alone and have a FUN time. Bravo!!!! One of my most memorable trips was a ski trip for five days to Squaw Valley, CA all by myself. Just me, myself and I and it was amazing! I actually met more people doing my own thing vs. traveling with someone else. I applaud you for sharing this with us.
Oct 14 - 2PM
Froglegs
Froglegs's picture

Awesomesauce! :D

Like you, XN took me all over as well and most trips would involve some kind of drama. But yea! I took my very first road trip alone a couple of months ago and it was FUN! It was scary driving at night in a new place. Thank goodness for GPS. It was a blast driving to and from the destination. There was nobody to dictate the music, when to stop and take a break, where to eat, or argue about dumb shit. FUN STUFF! Congratulations! *two thumbs up*
Oct 13 - 10PM
Hunter
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I love this!! Spread your

I love this!! Spread your wings and fly!! Hunter
Oct 13 - 9PM
tresor2
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Thanks for sharing that, Julia.

Good for you!!! I was on the other side of Narc travel. He went all over the world but, never took me with him so I have this fantasy that I missed out, big time. I'm just now planning my life which also includes solo travel. I'm retired and can do it now. I'm done with the pity party; it's either now or never. Do you drive or fly? I'm used to flying all over the country due to my last job but, I'll have to figure out how to entertain myself while in leisure status.
Oct 14 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
juliamarie
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Drive or fly...doesn't matter

It's the adventure of doing it alone that counts! I went to Sedona first which was amazing (I flew but had to drive 2 hours from Phoenix to Sedona). It was WONDERFUL! There was a bit of anxiety because I had never rented a car in a city I had never visited and then to have to drive 2 hours to another city was a bit daunting. But, when I did it, I felt amazing. I hiked all over the place, got a massage, watched movies, took long baths in a jetted tub, sat on my balcony and watched the sunset. This last time I flew to San Diego from Texas and stayed in Del Mar. It was amazing. I met the coolest people. I had friends within 24 hours. One gay guy invited me to stay in his house in Laguna on my next trip! One of my waiters invited me to a cooking exhibition. I wasn't bored at all. I never realized how cool it is to do things on my own. I loved it. I have a trip planned with a bunch of girlfriends, and I'm actually worried that I'm going to be annoyed because I've been solo for the past few months :)
Oct 14 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
tresor2
tresor2's picture

Sounds like you

know how to travel. Sedona is also on the top of my list. Going to Texas tomorrow. Sometimes it's not easy traveling with others...the freedom to do what you want is powerful. Thanks for sharing and stay strong.
Oct 14 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
juliamarie
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Have fun in Texas!

I'm in Dallas...weather is great here about now...finally!