Spoke too soon

I am crying my eyes out right now. This is after I have been on here dishing out support to so many of you here.

I get a picture emailed to me from coworker, it is a pic of exN at some private event from tonight, some private sale he went to. Of course he was posing with a woman. Not sure who she is. Of course I googled the shit out of her name. If newOW, she is not what I expected. He never shows public pics of him and OW together. He has too many exOW after him. But they looked cozy. She is the exact type he said he would never be with.

So I am spinning myself into CD. They were at a place where he was supposed to take me. Here I thinking he not having fun, and he IS.

See how easily it is to allow ourselves to get sucked back in? Here I thought I was strong.
I just want to curl up in ball and cry all night.

I am such an idiot. I am not liking this or myself right now. I have to calm down. I am angry that he still has this profound affect on me. He did look like shit in pic though. How immature of me to even say that.

I am just angry at myself because I want to be there with him. How can I be dishing out support here if I fold like a cheap suit? Just seeing one silly pic of him.