The Stupidest Thing You Did For The N!

44 posts / 0 new
Last post
Jan 12 - 12AM (Reply to #15)
Jessika (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


reading that made me so so sad. What a disgusting being!
Jan 10 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
katiebird's picture

The STUPIDEST thing I ever

The STUPIDEST thing I ever did for this N loser....was let him fly back out to see me a second time, after ignoring all the red flags from the first trip to see me. No, wait, the stupidest thing I did was apologize for crying after he attacked me on the phone one afternoon. Or maybe the stupidest thing was listening to his rants on the phone day after day all the while knowing if I had a problem, he would just ignore it completely. The SMARTEST thing I ever did was dump his sorry ass and firmly establish NO CONTACT. PERIOD. (That felt good.)
Jan 12 - 7AM (Reply to #14)
passionatebutterfly's picture

Oh katiebird, do I hear ya!!

Oh katiebird, do I hear ya!! I think we know the same "man"!! The whole flying out to see you.....way too familiar! He would fly out to see me while his wife, friends and family thought he was working! Nope! He was visiting me to get his supply. How sad. There are soooo many stupid things I did. The biggest one was letting him back into my life after the years of him persuing me and giving myself to him 100% Truly sick. God, how I wish i could take that back.....Biggest regret/mistake of my life. Hindsight is 20/20. Well, at least we are better people now, right? My self-love, self-respect, and confidence has never been so high! xoxo Jenny
Jan 10 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Stupidest Things

exNH - saying YES to that first date Psycho-Boy - replying to his first email to me after 27 years BTW - you might be interested in this article: ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 11 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
alfrebob's picture


I believed that he was a really nice guy.... so kind, caring and considerate and so misunderstood!!!!!!!
Jan 11 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
Ellen's picture


Hi Alfrebob, Good point there. I thought my ex was misunderstood. i've only just realised. I used to think why can't others see how nice he is. Why don't some people respond to him excitedly when he said he knew them from years ago. There was no familiarity in their faces at all. maybe they were just being polite then and didn't really want to see him - I wonder why, oh it;s cos they misunderstood him.
Jan 11 - 8PM (Reply to #13)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


Oh yes! It's like, "Poor guy, what rotten luck!" It was like a black cloud over his head all the time! Little did I know he caused it! I once told him that everything he touched turned to shit and I didn't want to become "shit"!
Jan 11 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
no more
no more's picture


Going back in August after 2 YEARS of NC and healing somewhat from all the DDs the first go at it. Thinking that he he had changed?????????? LOL dosen't happen in their world. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I found this site. It helps a lot to think that I am not the crazy one. I wouldn't even be capable of coming up with such horrific things,,,,,,my brain just doesn't go there at all. My friends just look at me wide eyed in awe at the things I tell them he has said and done. Like Barbara said it is truly unfathomable and who wants to read about that SHIT?????????

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

Jan 12 - 8AM (Reply to #11)
Patsy's picture


The stupidest thing I ever did for my N? Taking him back after breaking it off with him and telling him that I wasn't willing to pay for what other people (parents) had done to him. I saw the red flags at nineteen or twenty years old -- acted on them -- and allowed him to suck me back in for a thirty year pity party.
Jan 12 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
ForeverLearning's picture

Yes, I Used To Watch Jerry Springer To Feel Better About It All

I am so embarassed to admit, I used to watch the Jerry Springer Show (for anyone in countries other than the USA and not familiar with this show - it is a talk show (reality type show, not actors) where trashy people physically fight on stage and pull each other's hair, throw punches, say horrible horrible things to each other, etc). I used to watch this show to feel better about my life! It would make me feel like my life wasn't so bad, since I didn't have all the physical fighting going on like the fights on that show. I now know that emotional abuse is just as harmful to live with as physical abuse. Neither form of abuse allows you to have a peaceful, happy, fulfilling life. One of my (many) counselors told me life was like a water faucet, and I was living my life like just a little trickle of water coming out of the faucet, when the faucet could be turned fully on (but wasnt). That is the yo-yo and roller coaster ride that emotional abuse can be - you only live life at a trickle. Sure, no black eyes, no punches thrown, but mentally painful is still painful.
Jan 12 - 9AM (Reply to #8)
alfrebob's picture

That's the problem

How do you explain this madness of a 'relationship' to comeone later on unless they have been through every step with you. Even calling the police is no good when trying to explain to them that he has kept me up all night calling me a hoare over and over again until I say I am, yet he is so charming when they arrive. You can't be arrested for swaering at someone. That's why his GF wrote to me and said if things were that bad why has he not got a criminal record? So frustrating.
Jan 12 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


continue to report the harassment to the police if you have a machine let it pick up and record him be calm when they arrive yourself - they should know how nice he is and go to the station and FILE a harassment report, don't let them blow you off, demand to see a Supervisor if they do and don't leave until you have a copy of the report who cares what the police think? FILE THE REPORT ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 13 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
grossot's picture

stupid.....still thinking

Gave him a calorie count at the end of every day so he could monitor my weight loss.... ...the stupid part.....I was 15% below suggested weight for my height at the time. Put the peanut butter back in the jar after atempting to eat a spoonful because N said, "do you know how many calories are in that?" as if I were the grossest thing he's ever seen. nolongercontrolled