Tactics

Changing profile picture everyday? Why do they do that? I've still had no contact, but as I said we have many mutual friends and admitting to a wee bit of fb creeping. - First it was a picture of a lightening bolt, (emailed first, then profile pic), then a pic of dead pheasants (????) now a pic of him 10 years old holding 2 catfish (we fished together a lot, he even gave my son a fishing pole). I know he's doing it to get my goat. He has no idea it's working... or maybe he does, I don't know. I need to quite looking and will eventually.

Thinking too of "narc speak"
"I've been told I'm like Tony Soprano"
"Everyone benefits from my idea's"
"I could hurt you so easy"
"I like red heads" (guess who colored her hair red - but went back to natural brown last night hahaha)
"We are so beautiful the Germans would have forced us to breed".
"I have green eyes, they are the most rare in the world" (he has pictures of his eyeballs close up)
"You'll never find anyone like me." (I certainly HOPE NOT)

Today has been sort of hard. I have had to turn the radio off, and sometimes my son repeats things he said which is super hard because how do I say to a ten year old "don't say that, you're reminding me of the sick fuck that fucked up your Moms head".???

I sat outside today on my balcony and just enjoyed the sun and air and cried, trying to let go. Just thinking through thoughts of his smile (fake) and laugh (fake) and his smell (clean laundry washed by his wife). Then I remember he wouldn't sit outside with me (probably afraid someone would see him). How painfully obvious it was a chore, literally, for him to really pay attention to me.

I am friends with his brother who don't know about our affair, they do not speak - and I am having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I want to tell him 'YOUR BROTHER IS A CHEATING LYING NARCISSISTIC MANIPULATING PIECE OF SHIT". But I can't,that wouldn't do me one bit of good... UGH

Venting, sorry. Glad I can come here and whine. No one else understands. Thank you!