They really do all think alike!!

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#1 Nov 8 - 5PM
Victim-no-more
Victim-no-more's picture

They really do all think alike!!

I watched a documentary on Ted Bundy. I learned something interesting. When he was in his 20's, his girlfriend dumped him apparently because he was basically a nobody (didnt have good enough job, college education,etc) This is largely why he ended up going to law school....he wanted to become a lawyer and gain her approval and win her back. After graduating law school, she decided he was worth something after all and took him back. He proposed marriage and they got engaged. After he was sure she was totally in love with him.......he discarded her like garbage. Now that was a whole lot of time and energy to put into revenge dont ya think?. But he only tried to win her back so he could hurt her, getting even. They even said alot of his victims resembled this woman,hmmm. They really are sick and twisted, whether they are actual murderers or not.....their thought processes are so similar it's spooky! I had never heard that detail of the story before. They enjoy destroying us. All of them.

Nov 9 - 10PM
Gaia
Gaia's picture

Victim-no-more

Excellent post, and thank you for the reminder. My daughter was just asking me why a narc would put so much energy into some one just to throw them away, (she was referring to the narc invasion on our lives for 8 years) I told her that they are so pathological, that THEY JUST DO. And here in your post is a perfect example. It still blows my mind, how they waste away their lives, but I have to remember I am thinking from a non-narc mentality. They are so very disordered,and it is a waste, very very sad.
Nov 9 - 10PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

luck?

Mine was a big spoiled baby and lazy. He would NEVER work that hard for a woman, he thinks way too much of himself to be bothered. He just trashes and moves on. And he really does not want to be hated - very important to be thought of as nice guy. Everyone who interviews him always comments on what a nice guy he is - people love his act. He is in love with his act - his fake persona is everything to him!
Nov 9 - 12PM
wannaletgo22
wannaletgo22's picture

Thanks for posting this. I

Thanks for posting this. I "betrayed" my N by exposing him to his GF about six or seven weeks ago. He gave me the silent treatment for a bit....but got back in contact with me about a week ago...and has been laying it on me...heavy....saying things he never said before and trying to win me back. I'm addicted to him....and am having a hard time holding back...but this is such a good reminder to me that I need to be careful. In the back of my mind, I am very concerned that he is just doing this to get me to trust him again...and then once I do, he is going to doing something awful to get back at me. There's just no way he could have really forgiven me for what I did.
Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Used
Used's picture

wannaletgo

he hasent fogiven or forgotton what you done.....he is back cos its payback time.......DO NOT FALL FOR IT...
Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
Anari
Anari's picture

LMAO i find this whole

LMAO i find this whole concept mind boggling and funny! But you guys know you're stuff!
Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Anari

Stick around it gets better.. Idiots
Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
spinning
spinning's picture

wannaletgo, sweetheart, please please

listen to your gut on this one. You are here so there's a problem with him. You know what he's doing with the "laying it on heavy...to win you back." You know it's all manipulation. He needs supply. When he's done with you, he'll toss you aside again. I know this because it happened to me. I went back after he D & D'd me and I made it 21 days no contact and let myself in for another year of hell and a brutal D & D that almost, almost destroyed me. This is what they do. You can't win with these guys. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. It doesn't magically change. He cannot change. He is not wired like we are. Please let go. Choose yourself. I want you to avoid the crushing pain I went through. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M 12 MONTHS NO CONTACT AND I SEE THE TRUTH.

spinning

Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
wannaletgo22
wannaletgo22's picture

Are his intentions bad at

Are his intentions bad at this point? I mean, is he doing all of this with the intention of winning me back just to destroy me? It's hard to believe someone would put so much effort into that....and it's the most effort he has ever put into winning me over....even more than when we first met. I know I need to trust my gut....I want to believe he is sincere...but I feel so uneasy about all of this. Thank you.
Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
spinning
spinning's picture

Wanna, he has no "intentions"

except to secure you as supply. Think about this. If you go back with him you are giving him the clear message that it's okay to treat you poorly, totally erase you and toss you aside for THREE MONTHS and then come back into your waiting arms. This message will be loud and clear to him and he will continue to repeat the same behavior. This can go on for years. I'd bet you wouldn't choose that for your life, would you? Why waste any more time with this guy. You need to trust your gut, which is screaming at you that something is not right. That is why you feel uneasy, dear wannaletgo. You know too much now and you can't unknow it. He may be "sincere" for the moment because he really, really needs your supply. The other supply pursuit didn't work out (three months silence) so he's back recycling you. I am sorry if this sounds harsh. I am telling you the truth. I lived it and have seen it time and again here on the board. Search the threads for those who break NC, go back and see what happens...none of it is good. Here's a blog from Lisa which may help you right now: Knowledge is power, dear wanna. I know you want to do the right thing. The more you know, the better chance you have of doing what's right for YOU!! Here's the blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/04/07/narcissists-hoover-maneuver Sincerely, (not) spinning. IT WAS HARD WORK TO STOP BUT I REFUSE TO SPIN FOR ANY MAN, FOR ANYONE!

spinning

Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
wannaletgo22
wannaletgo22's picture

Thank you. I did read the

Thank you. I did read the link to the blog as well. You are right...I do know it. I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't with him...if I give in, he will hurt me again...and when I don't, he acts hurt and angry...but this all a part of the manipulation...I do know it. Thank you.
Nov 8 - 8PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

They are just

HATERS, plain & simple.
Nov 8 - 6PM
foreverfun1
foreverfun1's picture

wow that is interesting and

wow that is interesting and bizarre to go through so much just to hurt someone. they are so sick