Thinking and doubting

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#1 Oct 12 - 6AM
Very happy girl
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Thinking and doubting

I hate when I doubt myself.
I have found myself thinking about my last conversation with the N and I know for sure he was an n as well as a few other things. But.......
I was so clingy and erratic and I wouldn't let go. He wanted to speak to me about boundaries. My lack of respect of his boundaries. He called me but wanted to make sure I wasn't recording him. I had asked him if he records me? He said bc of my behavior he wasn't sure what I was capable of.
( my crazy behavior btw was texting). Never threaten, never stalked, never harmed etc.
He said he didn't like how he had to act with me, that he hates being angry and cruel and spitting venom at me. But bc I won't let go he has to do this with me. He wanted to know what he can do to make me stop, he offered to find me help and get me help.
He was so calm and pleasant.
It was a loooong conversation where he said and told me such things as when he went to prison the woman he was in love with broke up with him and he was devastated but he had to learn to deal with it. He had no outlet in jail.and I should too. He told me he would never hang on to someone who didn't want him. He asked if I would advise my teenage daughter to keep after a man who didn't want her.
He wanted to know why I would stay with someone who treated me so badly. He has no intentions of ever returning to our situation bc he never in his life has been so boggled by someone who doesn't respect his boundaries.
He told me I stay in my marriage bc it is safe and I don't want to take care of myself. He said if my son loves my husband so much I should let him stay with my husband and take my daughter. Or divorce my husband and get an apartment 20 minutes away from my husband.
When I told him the bottom line is NC and that's what I am going to do he said we'll see.
He said when he was a drug user he said the same things I do and everyone said we'll see. It took him years to prove himself to them and now I should prove myself. I told him that I have had nc with my father for years and he said that's bc you don't want your father.
He told me I am wasting my time with my therapist and he wanted to know what she had said abt him. (Told him she had a clinical dx for him). I explained the difference btw mental illness and pd's to him. He had a hard time processing it. I refused to tell him what she had said he was. He went on and on about how many therapists he had seen and none every prescribed any meds
For him and I said that's bc meds can't help pd's. he accused me of slanting my side of the story to my therapist and so on. I couldn't talk about this convo with anyone bc it hurts.
Can anyone relate to this? This is projection or something right?
Help.

VHG

Oct 12 - 10AM
Journey
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The one thing that stood out

Journey on...

Oct 12 - 8AM
Very happy girl
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I always thought that he had

Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #11)
Used
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veryhappygirl

Oct 12 - 9AM (Reply to #13)
round3
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AA does not cure a narc

Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #12)
Very happy girl
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Wow

Oct 12 - 8AM
lessonlearned
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ugh

Oct 12 - 7AM
Im_always_fine
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HOLY Lord high and mighty

Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
Very happy girl
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:)

Oct 12 - 9AM (Reply to #8)
Im_always_fine
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LOL..cause I'm spooky like

Oct 12 - 7AM
Very happy girl
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Thank you used and froglegs

Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Froglegs
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It's great you're remaining

Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
Very happy girl
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I doubt it. He asked why a

Oct 12 - 7AM
Used
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veryhappygirl

Oct 12 - 7AM
Froglegs
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It's absolute projection,