Today

It was really only day 29 - I messed up but I did it! I didn't respond so yay! I get to make it to 30 days NC tomorrow!

I'm wondering about this sad feeling I'm having. I KNOW firsthand what it feels like to be ignored. So how can I intentionally do the same to another human being?

I do understand it's self preservation, and I do not plan to respond. However, I do feel mean, just as mean as he was.

I know he had intention to punish when he did it, and my intention is to protect myself.

I'm just struggling with guilt a little. I wish it was possible to respond with an explanation and closure, but I know what that would be interpreted as. And I want to end strong. I want him to know I have some self esteem back.

So I won't respond. But I feel as if I sunk to his level.

I guess that's my codependency talking.

Thanks for all the support today!

This forum and all you wonderful ladies are so awesome!

Lisa