Triggers

I too asked my ex N to block me because I was raging...instead...this is what happened... (I cut & paste this from a previous response.) When I finally confirmed all the cheating and lies I was calling & texting him about it. I wanted an admission & an apology. My gut told me all along that he was lying & there were other women. There was constant silent treatment, made up bullshit lies about his whereabouts and completely suspicious behavior. So cheating & mistrust was the theme of our relationship. As narcs do he twisted it all around and had me half believing it was just my insecurities and I was a "crazy bitch". So finding out once and for all he WAS as horribly awful & evil as I had always feared sent me into shock and rage. I called, texted and posted him on a cheaters site. I also told him to block my number so I couldn't text him anymore. His sister found out about the cheater site so she pushed him to file a family court petition against me. First a police report had to be filed so I received a call from a police officer telling me I would be arrested if I ever called him again. About a week later I received the family court petition in the mail alleging harassment. Two weeks before the court date the Narc called me...he actually HAD an order of protection against me yet here he was calling me. He asked if I wanted to meet & talk. He called from 2 separate pay phones because I had blocked HIS number. He refused to block mine despite the alleged "harassment" !!! Triggers are everywhere since he lived nearby and there are a lot of memories that trigger me to want to rage at him all over again. Assholes! They love the negative attention too.

PERIOD. It's bad energy. If there is a way to give him notice, and have a neutral third party deliver the goods, then you let him know he has ten days to claim it and leave it at that. You have the control, don't let this suck you into another back and forth. If it's invaluable stuff he may not even remember, ditch it. Dear Narc, I have come across items you may be interested in...list the major ones. Kindly advise of your interest of claim, otherwise they will be discarded. Once I receive notice of interest, I will make arrangements for you to retrieve them. I do not wish to have contact with you; therefore delivery and/or pick up will be arranged at a neutral location via a third party. I will give you ten days from the date of this letter to respond. If I do not hear from you within ten days, I shall assume you have no interest and will therefore discard accordingly. Make an effort to send this notice certified mail so he can't feign non-receipt, then you won't be legally bound and sued and you have a paper trail indicating you did make an attempt to arrange return of his property. Hugs!

I think he thrives on the drama. Keep up the NC. I'm doing it again for the millionth time too. As far as triggers, throw out his stuff or donate it and picture everything else going away with those things. ~hugs

I know how you feel I was triggered today too and broke NC. I let him have it also he didn't care he just hung up on me. I think when I called he was with his OW. Hmmm its the middle of the day and he's with her smh thought she would be at her fabulous job. I'm really angry right now . I should've stayed NC it felt good to call him a deadbeat. I think he is abadoning my children at this OW's request. Its been 3 weeks going on a month and he hasn't even came around to get them . I think he doesn't want to have anything to do with them.