The True Man In The Mirror

When you look into a mirror, you do not see your reflection. You see a brilliant, sexually alluring, kind-hearted, gentleman – the person you have convinced me that you are. But now, I see the reality – the truth hidden from your deeply rooted psychological disorder. You’re not brilliant. You are a sick person. You have mastered the ability to manipulate the innocent to believe your distorted reality. Oh, speaking of distorted reality, do you remember that saying you would always say when you tried to convince me that I was the problematic one in the relationship?

“You can kick a puppy so many times until the puppy won’t come back”. Well, I am here to tell you that I am the puppy and that as the last time you will kick me. I’m not coming back. I will no longer subject myself to your distorted reality that my insecurities convinced me was real. You are a theft. You have stolen my soul, my faith in God, my faith in my family and friends, as well as my ability to defend myself.

Before I met you, I loved the world. I was just an 11th grader when you took my life from me. I already had my life taken from me once before you. April 26th, 2001 at 12:30pm. The dad my dad died, you know, the man who you enjoy mocking and disrespecting?

This process has been difficult. At first, I was beyond disgusted that I even spoke to you after you mocked my father. My rock. My daddy. My everything. But then, after some thought, I realized – the world I was living in, wasn’t real. Because, if it was real, and this was normal for the man who claims to love me so dearly to say about my deceased father, than the past 17 years of my life before you must have been a dream. But it couldn’t be, because the pain I felt on April 26th, 2001 and still feel from that day, is superior to any pain I have felt from you.

9 years of strength to 3 years of attempted weakening. I can’t help but laugh at your failed attempt. How despicable – you tried to distort the image of my father. The commentary about my father is so disgusting that I want to refrain from writing them. You have insulted him beyond the definition of disrespect. How dare you attempt, let alone even think about distorting my image of him. My father’s love for 9 years surpasses any love you would give me in a lifetime. I would rather have my father for the 9 years that I did then have a spiteful, insecure, nasty father – the type of father you will be to your children, and husband, to your wife.

You will never win against me. I am too strong. I have been through the trenches and crags. I sit here and think, why did I allow a psychologically broken person influence my judgments? The answer: you are a wolf in sheep’s clothing. But now, I am completely educated on your NPD. If I am enlightened and do not leave, I am just as big of as a fool as you.

It is unfortunate to know that you will physically, emotionally, and psychologically damage the next woman who comes into contact with you. She will become your victim. You will convince her that she is “the one”. Then, you will slowly rip her self-esteem from her to the point that she feels imprisoned in your affirmation. My heart breaks for your future wife and children. I pity your future wife, who will unfortunately watch the symbol of your union spread your dysfunctional, narcissistic disorder.

There is irrefutable proof that this is your reality.

I have slowly ripped off your sheep’s costume as you slowly destroyed my self-esteem. As I worked my way down the costume, I missed the patches you glued on so tight. But after 3 years of wear and tear, the costume you have worn every day is down to a thread.

Today, I am cutting a thread in half to symbolize the termination of our relationship.

May God give you the strength to face your true identity so you too, can heal.