When does the story end and my life begin? Today!

You guys don't even have to read this long bit of babble. I just need to get it out and writing in my journal isn't working. I look at that journal and I know what's in there and my head starts spinning. I must post it here so I can relaease this out to the universe or whatever. Just got to get it out and let it go for real and finally.

My life begins today. You are a pathological liar and you were from day one. 10/07/07 I remember it very clearly even though you will claim it didn't happen and I am making it up. I believed that crap for our entire relationship because you believe your very own lies. I asked how many times you had been married. We were on the ferris wheel at the State Fair. you told me twice. Once for 11 years and once for 12. The years are lies. The math does not add up for your first marriage. I am not stupid I know how old you are , I know how old Garrett is and I know how old he was when you divorced Joy. That marriage was 8 years. Tammy you were married to her for ONE MONTH. You admitted you only married her to get her tax refund. You also told me during the first 6 months of our relationship that you were not even sure you and Tammy were divorced. Another lie! What is the purpose behind that lie? The divorce papers are in the box in your closet. Which is proof you are diviorced and the marriage lasted ONE MONTH! You are a pathological liar and a Psychopath. Nothing you ever spoke was the truth not once. I won't even get into all the stupid lies but I know them all.

You cheated on x with y. You cheated on y with z. You cheated on w too. The proof is in the old text messages in your old phone in the kitchen drawrer. They are right there asking for sexual favors from some girl as your "going away present" right before moving to Florida. You also told x you loved her and would go get settled in Florida and come back for her and her daughter. You lied. You told me that you were glad you got transferred because it was the only way you could get out of that relationship and remain the "good guy"

You need to be the rescuer and the good guy in everyone elses eyes. You admitted that was your "MO". Yuo are a Psychopath. No one does this crap except a Psychopath.

Your only expectations were no lying, no cheating, and no stealing. Those are expectations of society at large. There is so much more when in a committed healthy relationship. You don't get that and never will. You, however, failed each of those expectations. you lied. you cheated and you stole. You are a Psychopath. There are many more out there jsut like you. and everyoneone has met many but you have no idea you have met one until you experience one. And it is an awful, soul killing, mind boggling experience. It includes word salad, scrambled eggs, devalue and discard. idealization. SOme of these words have are not understood until you experience a Psychopath.

You replaced me so quickly. You are a Psychopath. No one with real feeling and emotions does that. Well as my replacement is enjoying the privacy of the fence around the pool that I paid part for and helped stain. You will have the lights on that I hung on that fence and you will charm and seduce her just like you did me. As she sleeps in our bed, looks at the picture in the front room that I purchased you both will be thinking of me. She will enjoy my leftovers. She wil lenjoy this stage of idealizationn. The flirting, the charm, the seduction. But right after that comes the devalue and the discard. For her sake I hope she walks away the first time you do that. If she doesn't the next round of idealization is better than the first and the devalue and discard is worst than the first. And the cycle continues. Round and round and round. Only a Psychopath does that. I hope she does not have two wonderful children that also get caught up in your web of lies and deceit that makes her stay around for round 2 and 3 and 4 etc. I hope she runs and runs fast. It will be the only way to save her life. She will come to understand word salad, scrambled eggs, idealization and devalue and discard.

You are a liar. You just drove by my apartment the other weekend on your motorcycle with my replacement on the back. The boys saw you with their very own eyes. You even waved at them. I was at lunch with a friend and Paul called so upset by this. I came right home. I brought a picture of you on that mortorcycle that I picked out (another leftover for my replacement to enjoy) I took that picture and showed it to the 12 other kids that were playing with Paul and Daniel and they are all in agreement it was you. You will deny this and the very sick part is that you will believe in your head that this did not occur. But it did. I take the word of 14 kids over the word of a pathological liar.

You are devoid of all emotions. You have no heart. Yuo are an empty shell and that is how you will remain. You will do to others exactly what you have done to all of us in your past. You are a violent criminal, you did drugs with your mother. Then there is Nancy Ruiz and of course the man who picked you up hitchhiking. The list is long but I will stop here.

This is the final curtain call to longest play of my life. A one man show with 6 different personas. You played each one so beautifully. I applaud you. As the curtain comes down and the lights turn on for the last time in the theatre I stand up and turn my back and walk away.

Oh by the way this is your eulogy. You are dead to me. My lips will never speak your name. Your face will never cross my head or heart again. I only take with me the lesson I have learned. That's it nothing more. And the lesson I have learned is I will never give myself, my heart, my entire being and my love to someone who does not deserve it. Never again. I now know all the Red Flags and I will be aware.

I am not sure who is sicker me for staying or you because you are a Psychopath. What I am sure of is there is no cure for your sickness except for death. There is a cure for mine. There is healing and there is recovery. You are dead to me and this is where my life begins. I will continue with my Mom on a Mission campaign because it is not about you. It is about me and my boys. I know you are aware of it as you removed the flyer from the light post. I will not replace it as it doesn't matter because you are dead. They are hung up all over the Dallas area and I will continue with my campaign. It is about me and my boys finally! You have died and will live out eternity in HELL!

RIP 12/11/61 - 3/7/12.