When u think of breaking NC...what do you hope to gain?

I noticed this morning, a few threads whereby people broke NC, recently. I have been NC now for...over a year. My breakup happened nearly a year and a half ago, with my ex N.

I remember in the early stages of NC, that I broke it a few times. He would 'bait' me through others. Talking badly about me, smearing my name, etc. I broke NC, asking him why. Asking him to stop. Asking him why couldn't we be friends. MY MOTIVATION for breaking NC, had to do with still wanting his acceptance and validation, in some way. I never wanted him back, never regretted breaking up with him. Never. But, I have never had such a hostile breakup as it was with him. And due to my desire to want to please others, and so on...I had hope that we could still be civil. Educating myself from this great site, and through the support of the mods and others, I came to realize...two things:

* narcs don't want closure, and won't give it to you
* NC is the only way out of the fog, and into a better life

NC will bring you clarity, and peace...and help you to resolve some of your own issues, whatever they may be.

So, I thought I'd throw that question out here today--what do you hope to gain when you are tempted to break NC?

Do you seek closure, acceptance, an apology, want him/her back...etc? What tempts you to break NC?

Maybe if we talk about it a bit here, you can get some feedback from others who have felt the same way you have, and help you move past the tempatation to break NC. :)