When you realize.... about love, and forgiveness.

What do you do, when you cannot forgive?

When you can't forgive that they took "the man you loved" and made him disappear? Sure, the man was a mirage, but YOU did not know that for months or YEARS. They portrayed that man to you. You fell in love with that person. You tirelessly fought for that relationship. You withstood things that you knew were not right. You tried, and tried, and when you didn't think you could fight or try anymore, you tried again. All in the name of unconditional love.

I can't forgive him at this point. Does it take time? For those who have been out a long time, did you forgive? Do you put the blame on him (or her) or the disorder?

Who do you blame when your dreams were ripped away from you? Do you blame yourself? I realize I tolerated more than I should, and that I need self-love here. But I don't blame me, because I didn't know. I just wanted to understand and 'fix' before I knew what I was dealing with.

What do you do when you still 'love' them, even though you 'hate' them? You love what you thought you spent years with. The ins and outs. The good and bad. You loved - for real.

What to do with all these feelings?