Where I'm at in my healing process, and could use a boost

Most here know my 'story,' but in a nutshell, I dated a few narcs in my life. The last one was a psychopath, as we here on this site collectively concluded. Broke up with him last spring. Have been NC from the ordeal, for roughly 15 months. Have learned tons from this site on NPD, and what role I played in the mess. And my healing really took off, when I started working on childhood wounds that never properly were dealt with, until last year.

Okay, so, I'm over the narc. Have no idea what he's up to, and it's such a far away memory now, I don't think about him with any emotional attachment, anymore.

But, that relationship COST ME, literally. I lost my job last year, and thankfully, ended up getting a new one a short time later. I've taken a big paycut. But, it's still a great job, I just had a REALLY great job, before the narc. I can honestly say, that my crying jags, and all the emotional upheaval from that narc breakup, cost me to not perform as well as I should have. Eventually, I lost my job.

I've never lost a job in my life. I have a good job now, and feel blessed. But, still struggle with the fact that I can't get that wasted time back. That I wish I didn't have to go through such pain, to get to where I am now. The lessons learned are priceless, but it cost me my dignity (back then), and my job. Which I'm still feeling the reprocussions of, due to the lower pay.

I'm here to say that my story pales in comparison to the abusive stories I've read on here, where some of the women here have spent years enduring conditions with their narcs that are just deplorable. Gratefully, I only stayed a few short months with my ex. But, I know things could have been much worse. I know this.

But, it goes to show, that if you don't do the work, (I stayed NC but just felt lost in a maze of obsession over him for a while, instead of working on me) you can ruin a lot of good things happening in your life.

Maybe I just need a boost. I lost a great job, and looking back, I hated working there. lol But, the money was great, and I've had to support my kids and me on a lot less...and I can't help but think...gosh, I've let them down. :( They have no idea why I lost my job. They never met the narc, and I look back at last year, and what a zombie I had become around them for months after the breakup...just plodding through the day. Ugh, I can't get that time back, everybody. It pains me, still. :(

Anyways, that's where I'm at. I've come a long way from when I first posted here, but I still get a bit stuck on why did I let this happen to my life. (I know why. I've worked on my childhood issues that led me down paths with narcs. But, it still get a dull ache when I think about it all...)

I guess my question here is...how have you personally processed the setbacks in your own lives (financially, career wise, etc), due to relationships you've had with your ex narcs?

Thanks for listening to me & look forward to your advice.