Thanks for your concern. Busy with this stuff and work. I think I might need a med change because I'm more depressed than usual. I'm spending as much time with my daughter as I can while she's with me. She sees him 1-2 nights/wk and every other weekend. I'm without her right now. Herring is the 19th. Asking for full custody and psych eval for him. My daughter's counselor has helped me outline what I want to say in court.
God, I was doing so good. I don't know what's wrong. I can hardly brush my teeth today.
thanks for your concerns and prayers (I need them).
nolongercontrolled
Hi Grossot,
I'm very sorry you're in so much pain, but as Carolyn said, of course you would be. Do not beat yourself up for being so low. You are dealing with so much right now and need to go easy on yourself. Allow yourself time to rest and build strength for you will need it at the custody hearing.
I'm glad to hear you are consulting with smart people who can help you through this at trial. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and keep us posted. We're here for you.
xoxo,
Lisa
Hi grossot,
So sorry you're having a difficult day. But of Course you are! You are dealing with So Much right now.....not only concerns about your daughter, but your own crushing feelings of anger and rejection and disbelief. I honestly don't know how you manage to work.
Please try to take care of yourself in any way that helps. For me, it was usually a good long nap and not leaving the house unless I absolutely Had to. Licking our wounds takes time unfortunately, but we need to be kind to ourselves and understand our feelings are normal given the circumstances. One day at a time is the only way I could get through and even then it was a challenge. I can't count how many times I went without brushing my teeth...so don't beat yourself up.
I believe that all of your work to take care of your daughter will pay off for you at the hearing. I certainly hope so and am so glad you have your daughter's counselor helping you prepare. Very important. The steps you have taken to get legal counsel and other counsel are great and you should give yourself a big pat on the back for all of that. I know it isn't easy but you've managed and done it! Good girl! :-) Keep us posted. CM
Thank you all for your help and encouragement.
Yes, betteroff, I took your advice and went to my lawyer about the PC. The answer I got was "This is a divorce case not a criminal case. We can't just get a warrant to go get the PC."
I know what you're thinking but he's right. There has to be hard evidence. I forgot to say in my last post that I had contacted children's services and they told me it was not illegal to get in the tub with your child.
Yes, I'm grinding my teeth writing this. God is helping me. And I have a very good social worker, psychiatrist and my parents to help as well.
Anyway, it's up to me to get the PC. I'm scared because I'm not allowed in the house (God, I can't even believe I'm writiing this about the man I married)but my plan is to sneak in when I know he's not home (I didn't tell him that I have a way in that he is unaware of.). But first I need to find out who around my home town can investigate the PC. It's a laptop so it will be easy to get but I'll pay dearly for this....
Anyone know how to contact someone with the legal ability to investigate the history of the hard drive?
I have a court date for temporary custody orders on scheduled for next week. My attorney has filed a motion for the judge to order a psychological evaluation of him (and myself and my daughter). So we find out at that herring if the judge is going to allow that or not.
My daughter is, in the meantime, in counseling. She's still having some behaviors (masturbation) but not as excessive as it was. I talked to the father of the twin boys and he says that there have been no more behaviors. So obviously, the happy couple have watched themselves more closely but I know they are just waiting for things to die down in court.....
I'm getting counseling but I'm sick everyday. I've lost 35 lbs. Hard to eat. Hard to sleep. Hard to think.....
nolongercontrolled
Dear nolongercontrolled,
This is a horrible story. I'm hoping by now you have the appropriate legal help you need so desperately. I have been in the mental health business and worked with families with intra-family sexual abuse. From what you describe this man is definitely a child molester. I'm So Sorry for you to have to deal with all of this at once. My God. As others here have said, do everything in your power to keep your daughter away from him. I would expect that the "system" will protect both you and her and it sounds as though you have taken all the appropriate steps to get this in line. I want to congratulate you on your courage and resolve to take care of this ASAP. I have no doubt you cannot eat or sleep. Your nights must be hell. I hope you are taking some steps to take care of yourself as well. Perhaps your psychiatrist can help you with some meds to help you sleep or with your anxiety and depression? I don't like having to rely on these myself, but there are Times when you really need this help and it is nothing to be ashamed of. You can't help your daughter or yourself if you aren't sleeping, eating, and are constantly anxious and exhausted.
I wish I could say something more helpful. But you know in your heart that you are right about everything you suspect. This will be a very hard road. Please stay in touch here so we can all support you as much as possible. CM
Well, he sounds like a child molester to me. I guess by definition a child molester is a narcissist. This is so dangerous I don't even know what to say.
But don't YOU be embarrassed. He's counting on that to keep his secrets. Or his crimes it sounds like. I have to re-read your post again about what you said about law enforcement and your lawyer. If it were me I'd do everything in my power to keep him away from any and all children, including your own.
Is there any way to check his computer for pornography? If he's got child pornography that would be enough to "take care" of him.
Grossot,
My mouth is hanging open right now in absolute horror for what you have been through. I can't believe how scary this man's behavior is. I am so sorry for you. This man is sick and should be nowhere near your child. Yes, get a court order to look at his PC and fight with everything you have to keep him away from your daughter. He is a sick man and should be locked up immediately. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Grossot. Stay strong, I know you can do this.
Love,
Lisa
Shit, you might think about calling the FBI, and I'm not kidding. But you need to make sure you are safe. Do you have a lawyer??? Sounds like you need one.
Yes, go straight to a good lawyer. And definitely ask for his PC to be tested. Oh, Ns and their pc.........I could write a book about it.
Go and fight like a lioness. For your child.
((((((HUGS)))))
Thanks for your concern.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview
nolongercontrolled
Grossot
Hard day for you
thank you
http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview
nolongercontrolled
Horrors
oh no!
Well, he sounds like a child
Perhaps this is why he
http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview
nolongercontrolled
Fight him with everything you have!
Shit, you might think about
Seriously, don't do anything
Yes, go straight to a good