Why Does He ALWAYS Win?

I am feeling so discouraged! I was proud of myself for leaving, I had no desire at all for contact. I never allow him access to me so he can't manipulate. I don't miss him at all, BUT....I feel like he is stealing the hearts and souls of my children from me! Every time I turn around he is doing something special with them! They are 25, 23, 21, 20 and 16 yrs old. Only the 16 yr old is at home, joint custody. So ok, he has the family home and 90% of our possesions, thats not enough, he takes all the childrens time! He never cared to do stuff with them before unless it was something he wanted and chose and planned. Now all the sudden he is interested in everything they do and planning trips with them, etc. I feel like he has everything and I have nothing!!! I dont have the money, or the time off work like he does to compete! He turns on his narc charm and gets to act like the good guy, the poor victim! Ugh!! I know my children love me, but I feel like the boring one, the pathetic one! It is so unfair, I can't seem to climb out of this, it brings me so down!