withholding

I woke up with that on my mind my exN would withhold things she knew I wanted, especially things that she knew that would hurt the most her specialty with me was affection, I loved hugs and kisses and she would go as far as withholding from me sexually to the point I would go off on her or it was obvious it hurt me, then she would say things like I dont have a sex drive or I am feeling emotional and I cant do anything when I am in a state of depression, then she accused me of using her sexually, when I would say something about it, but hen make really clear to me she does not do restriction when I first met her, meaning I couldnt tell her no. wow all the the things that pop back up when you are trying to heal, so my question is have any of you gone through this if so what would they withhold?