The worst thing he said to you

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Jul 1 - 4PM (Reply to #109)
Steph's picture

"Yes, their backwards

"Yes, their backwards reaction to your pain or tears is the reddest flag of all." so true. normal men don't ignore or rage at you for crying. lesson learned and never again will I be treated like that/
Jul 30 - 6AM (Reply to #116)
Goldie's picture

Glaring red flags and bill boards

Yes, the lack of empathy was so shocking that I think I went back for more just to make sure I was not mistaken. One time he hurt me badly, "by accident" and said I did not do it on purpose and kept defending himself. Not once did he show the slightest concern that I was hurt. When I fell down the stairs because he left his toys on my stairs. He went back outside to play with his remote control car and when he realized I had to go to the hospital, he did not seem to want to come in with me. My personal favorite was when I was crying one day about how I never felt loved by my father and he said come here baby and he was sitting on the couch and he put his arms around me and said, the only one I ever loved was -------. I was stunned. I felt like I was in love with the devil. I said to him, how is the fact that you were in love with another woman of any comfort to me right now? That is when I should have ended the thing. I never got over that comment. I knew deep inside he was not "into me." The meanest thing was how he made fun of my female area. That was the real clue that he was a woman hater. I never had any guy ever say anything bad about that. He was a sick puppy and I thought I could change this. You know, make him love me. The worst were the things he said to his cell mates in jail awaiting trial for assault and battery. He told them I was old, fat, saggy, and ugly. That I was only good for a free place to live and 3 square meals. He also said that he was using me the whole time and the ones he really loved were his X and a girl from work who he was cheating on me with the entire time we were together and treated her like a queen. I would not have believed all this had the guy who told me not known my name, address, and all about our sex life. He gave out all this info to these guys because he was offering to pay them for doing me in when they got out. The guy he told was so disgusted with him that he reported this to security when he got out and I was standing right there and heard my name mentioned. I was stunned beyond belief. God literally sent that man to me to tell me the truth so that if I had any lingering doubts they were put to bed. This man actually started crying when he told me because he could see how much pain I was in and he kept saying how sorry he was and how he knew he had to do the right thing and report it. Nothing came of his threats on my life but he was put on notice not to ever contact me again. Sometimes it is funny to read about how ridiulous they can be and other times I just cry that we as strong beautiful woman crave love so deeply that we put up with these miserable freaks for 5 minutes let along months and years. God grant us all the widom, strength, and self love to never have to experience and listen to this crap again. God bless, Goldie
Jul 4 - 2PM (Reply to #110)
broken23's picture

so true he would say i ran

so true he would say i ran out of empathy for your tears. when did he ever have it. it is truly mind-blowing that someone could just sit there watching you ball your eyes out or better yet tune out and watch tv.
Jul 4 - 2PM (Reply to #112)
Scoop's picture

There can be nothing more

There can be nothing more soul destroying than for someone to watch you cry with no feeling . Mine reduced me to tears with a d&d so unexpected and so violent , he went into the other room and started laughing with his friends .... that is sick . xx
Jul 5 - 11AM (Reply to #114)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture


So true! "There can be nothing more soul destroying than for someone to watch you cry with no feeling." "Mine reduced me to tears with a d&d so unexpected and so violent , he went into the other room and started laughing with his friends .... that is sick." OMG! That is so sick.
Jul 10 - 3PM (Reply to #115)
Imaginary Friend
Imaginary Friend's picture

He enjoyed my tears.

I think he fed off them. He would smile and seem to savor them as a tribute to him.
Jul 4 - 2PM (Reply to #113)
Susan32's picture

Soul destruction

My ex-Psychopath would reduce me to tears in front of his fellow professors, and my classmates. He showed no feelings at all. He'd bully me to the point of tears my senior year. I've been romantically rejected-and rejected guys--without either party being reduced to tears in front of other people. All my ex-P would do is lecture, lecture, droning on and on and on and on and on, and I'd be crying. The kicker would be "You're embarrassing yourself." Absolutely no remorse. No wonder he claims he drove his maternal grandmother crazy as little boy. He claimed that when she was in Idaho, he brought radioactive rocks out of a mine and a HAZMAT team had to haul them out, and that when she was in Ohio, she grew pot seeds in the community garden. Now I wonder if HE was the one who did it, and got HER in trouble. His own flesh and blood. My ex-P was into public humiliation. When I called him out, saying "if a prospective student saw how you were treating, he'd think 'I don't want that man as a professor, he's a bully'",his response was his canned "You were inappropriate."
Jul 4 - 2PM (Reply to #111)
Steph's picture

mine flew into a rage, then

mine flew into a rage, then called the police on me.
Jul 1 - 8AM
helldweller's picture

the worst thing

It's true that the worst is what they DON'T say, especially all of the apologies they don't make. When I was crying and he said, Why are you crying? and I responded, "because you lied to me again." He said, "Oh." He always said, "Oh" to the most atrocious things.
Jul 1 - 9AM (Reply to #106)
secondchance's picture

you are so right about that

yes...all the apologies never made is the worst! mine imploded our family by getting drunk, lying about it to me, driving our son drunk, more lying then the kids having an intervention which he ignored last summer. then a few weeks later when (obviously) things weren't good again he was like "you're still mad about that?" duh, yes! get the hell out!
Jul 1 - 8AM (Reply to #105)
betty2020's picture

Yes, mine would tell me to

Yes, mine would tell me to knock off the crying act. Never apologized for any of the harm he caused to me. Never not once. They are just real loosers.

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 1 - 8AM
betty2020's picture

he said a lot of demeaning

he said a lot of demeaning things but it was more of what he didn't say that got me. The aloof silence really hurt me. I would have rather he just tell me the true thoughts going on in his head then to keep his little secrets and play me for the fool.

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 1 - 9AM (Reply to #103)
NinjaGirl's picture


Same here!
Jun 30 - 6PM
imabloke's picture

The worst thing SHE said to me

We were in Paris, one of the most romantic cities in the world. i asked her to marry me at the fountain, Plas de Concorde, i sneaked in a bottle of champagne, glasses, chocolates to celebrate, which was difficult to keep a secret, especially from her. Alright i didn't get down on one knee - sorry girls i just think that's going too far! Asked her really nicely.. and guess what, she said yes... But when she finally gave me the boot.. i mentioned this and she said 'yes that was very nice, BUT IT DIDN'T TAKE MY BREATH AWAY'. Oh and i forgot to mention she asked to MARRY ME 8 months prior while i was driving the car! My God talk about fantasy land.. Now i realise i've had a lucky escape
Jul 1 - 6PM (Reply to #100)
Susan32's picture

In the City of Light,of all places

That takes A LOT OF NERVE!!! Your ex-N sounds like she was a nightmare, even in the paradise of Paris. Yes, you had a lucky escape. Could anyone imagine living with THAT??? She treated you terribly. I'd be tempted to send some French champagne to her, saying, "Thanks for not marrying me, for now I will be without you in paradise." She was a nasty, cruel person... be glad, to quote Michael Jackson, "She's out of my life." You deserve MUCH better.
Jul 1 - 6PM (Reply to #101)
imabloke's picture


Thanks for this.. you guys have made me feel so much better. I'll make sure the bottles empty Like her.
Jul 1 - 1PM (Reply to #94)
better off
better off's picture

Wow. What a B*tch. You

Wow. What a B*tch. You just proved that women really can be as bad as the men narcs. Sorry that champagne next to a Paris fountain didn't take her breath away. I guess you have to be a living breathing human being for that, instead of a soulless void with skin on. Of course what it really means, is they will say ANYTHING to be hurtful and "win" in a conversation, even if it's completely ridiculous.
Jul 29 - 2PM (Reply to #99)
ShaynasMommy's picture

better off

a souless void with skin on... I L-O-V-E that! That's one of the best so far LOL
Jul 1 - 6PM (Reply to #95)
imabloke's picture

I just had to reply to this..

LOL... You made me laugh. You guys are making me feel so much better. I don't ask someone to marry me every day. I when she said 'it didn't take my breath away' i thought it was my fault perhaps i didn't have the right champagne, perhaps i should have had a ring. Your right the thing is i let her win. But not now.. Now i understand, and her boss is going to get the same treatment.. in time... just give it time. Past behavior, predicts future behavior. Better off. I'm printing your comment out and putting on my fridge it's made me feel that good.
Jul 4 - 2PM (Reply to #98)
broken23's picture

oh my! the wrong

oh my! the wrong is so funny how we were so afraid to displease them. if a girl cant be happy being proposed to in paris...her highness will never be happy. she deserves a royal flush down the toilet.
Jul 2 - 12PM (Reply to #96)
better off
better off's picture

Glad it helped. :) And

Glad it helped. :) And that's what life with her would have been like, constantly questioning yourself..."maybe it was the wrong champagne?" No, it's not the wrong champagne, it's the wrong woman. And you bet her boss is going to get poor treatment, seems kind of obvious that she is using him, is an opportunist, and is always looking for the next step up. My exN was married to his own N (or maybe BPD person, who knows?) who slept her way to the top of one of the biggest corporations in the world... and then sued them for sexual harassment. (And they're still married! Match made in hell)
Jul 2 - 1PM (Reply to #97)
imabloke's picture

Better off... you are soooo... funny

The wrong woman... You're damn right there! LMFAO!!
Jul 1 - 3AM (Reply to #92)
Scoop's picture


Mine said to me quite calmly and matter of a fact "you know scoop im only happy with you 30% of the time " and then proceeded to ask me what topping i want on my pizza ...having given it some thought part of the disorder is lack of empathy , they find it impossible to put themselves in youre shoes , mine seemed dilwildered that i would find this upseting he said "what are you crying for " and i said "you just said you are only happy with me 30% of the time " ... "oh" he said then took a bite of pizza .....arrrggggggg .its lar lar land im telling you .i should have rammed that pizza down his arrogent neck .
Jul 1 - 7AM (Reply to #93)
imabloke's picture


It's just awful.. this D&D crap. I only had it for a few months off and on thinking about it.. and i kept thinking I was doing something wrong. Glad i'm out.
Jun 28 - 10PM
Miss Dior
Miss Dior's picture

One of the worst things..

Go find yourself a truckdriver, who likes to drink beer..
Jun 28 - 9PM
Happy1's picture

My N just told me over the

My N just told me over the weekend that he doesn't like me and he will not miss me if he never sees me again. He said that he has absolutely no feelings for me and has no problem with never laying eyes on me again. I ruined our relationship with my constant jealousy he said and he will never let any woman treat him like that. He has told me many times good luck finding another guy that will want you. I'm so insecure and jealous that no man will ever want me.
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #89)
ewa's picture

bla bla bla

They always blame us. They cheat on us and then they say to us that they can not be with us because we are jealous or spy on them. Assholes. And to be honest i don't know how it looks in your case, but i was not jealous, I would say i was more insecure. And I have been insecure because he gave me the reason to be this way. I have never felt like this with anybody else in my life. They can really drive us crazy!
Jun 28 - 10PM (Reply to #88)
Amy's picture


I'm sorry you had to hear someone say that to you. You deserve so much better!
Jun 28 - 10PM (Reply to #87)
Janet's picture

I second what Broken wrote.

I second what Broken wrote. NOBODY deserves that! I am so sorry. He is a not only an N but a major JERK! You will be loved and wanted by a real man. Peace. J

Peace. J

Jun 28 - 9PM (Reply to #82)
broken23's picture

sad when i read things like

sad when i read things like this, i get angry on other women's behalf. what a piece of crap. you are a wonderful person. all of us are insecure because of them. i wish i could slap him:)