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  5. YOU ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE, NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN....

YOU ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE, NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN....

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#1 May 3 - 10AM
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

YOU ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE, NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN....

Lets dismiss the fancy medical text book names for the games they play with us, you know them all..... Think for a few minutes what your relationship (if you want to call it that) was like with this person.

All games have an objective, so what was the object of the game he played with you? Manipulation is the NAME of their game but for what purpose?

Initially they want us to fall very deeply in love with them, ah then let the games begin......

You cling to them: they pull away

You call them: they ignore your calls

You pull away: they hoover and pull you back in
They D&D then come back after a week, month, 3 months, 6 months, YEARS..... only to lure you back

They get into your panties - then they are cold and distant

They play the love triangulation game: They LOVE this game, making you believe how so many others want them and the other woman has so much more than you ever did..... ooops but guess what they still WANT you even as happy as they are in this so called other relationship.

The busy unavailable game: They are just busy screwing someone else and are distracted for a bit..

The married has a Girlfriend game - nice convenience for them so they dont have to commit to you or ANYBODY, hell they arent even committed to who they are with....what makes you think they want a committed relationship with you?

The Girlfriend Game - Why are we always jealous of this other they are living with? mmmm have we forgotten about all the OTHER fricking women they are screwing and also have relationships with? What about them? Why do we never wonder about who THEY are, because trust me they have many many other relationships!!!!! And guess what, We were one of them. STOP this fixation about the OW because what he is doing to you he is doing to others behind his MAIN GF's back, lets just call her for all practical purposes the MAIN GF, ewwww WOW wish I were the MAIN GIRLFRIEND, wow what a title, what an honor!!!! Wish I were the MAIN GIRLFRIEND and knew I shared my boyfriend or husband with hundreds of other women thru the years. Wish I were her that gave him my love, devotion and LIFE to only know he is F-ing everything he can get to fall in love with him.

So here is one for ya Jaycee, mine has lived with his GF for 8 years, she is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE Jaycee, you know the same love of his life YOURS has found, the ONE WOMAN he was finally able to love, and just yesterday I received a message "Hey my GF will be out of town for two days, and we will have the place to ourselves PLEEEEZE come and see me we need to talk". Ya right, we are going to talk in the same bed you share with her. While she is off visiting family he is doing someone else in THEIR BED, boy he better wash the sheets to get rid of any evidence, so his GF still thinks SHE IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. Yes ladies I ignored the message, but wonder who he called second on his long list?

It makes no difference if these other women are just used for sex, DOESNT MATTER and the woman he has at home is the REAL THING, (ya right) Do you think THAT is what a loving and good relationships is? That is how a man shows he can love his GF by screwing other women ANY chance he can? Jaycee if this man cheated on you for 25 years his cheating will just stop right? WHEN PIGS FLY Jaycee!!! and as I look out my window I dont see any flying pigs. Excuse me I take that back, I did see a pig with a dollar bill in his mouth fly by.

Relationships are GAMES to them WHY? Because relationships all have an objective to them: to see how many players in their game can give them the SICK validation they need to live, they cant live without it and one player will NEVER be enough for them, the more the better. My life, and who I give my love to is NOT a game of manipulation and betrayal that is not how I want to live my life I dont enjoy being CONNED by someone I love.

May 4 - 5AM
Used
Used's picture

neverlookback

i wrote yesterday about narc saying it was terrible beign his friend, but i began waffling on about my self [well i have been narced lol], but what i meant to say,if its so terrible beign his friend, then to be wife/g/f/b/f/partner is hell on earth, everytime i read the posts i think omg how did they stand it, when exn relized i was friends with another man after threatening both of us for months, he then began getting in my face for sex and he was "good" enough to tell me what it would entail after he finished telling me[oh yes i had gone back again] i said why would you feel the need to hurt me[in sex], he said b/c you have treated me like a cunt. [i thought you were the real deal used[so i was the madonna without relizing it] but you have been seeing him behind my back[he was in a 3 year relationship at the time i didnt know], i said you and i are only friends and so is he my friend i can be friends with who i like, the sex talk was sickening, i have been round the block a couple of times, but i had never ever heard such sick sadistic rhetoric i stood there rooted to the spot, then made my plans to get out. i take my hat off to all wives/g/fb/f/partners who had relationships with these mental casesxxx by the way i saw him today getting SUGAR.LOL. I DIDNT FEEL A THING EXCEPT RELIEF, HE WAS MEETING HIS G/F I SAW HER WAITNG FOR HIM SHE LOOKED DOWNXX
May 3 - 3PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I just thought about this

I just thought about this today. The "nice woman" he is marrying will start to see little lies soon but she will go ahead and marry him because she is a victim just like us. Then she'll be wondering constantly if he's contacted me or wonder if he wishes he was with me not her. Better her than me. See in many ways its better to be the OW they fantasize about having the perfect relationship with you. They idealize you as the one that got away. Once you are the main girl you are just there for functional purposes. I know what it is like to live like that. I was the main GF for several years going to work functions noticing other women whispering about me. Catching him with OW and having her say who is this and hear him say my GF when the ow had no idea I even existed. I remember the look on her face as she went to her car and he took me inside the house. How humiliated we both were especially her has he chose me right then and there and threw her to to the wolves. Now Im her. I only wish I would have caught up with her and hugged her.
May 3 - 11PM (Reply to #12)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

I always

felt terrible for the OW, and I know to this day how much she loves him and clings to him. I would have hugged you back if I was that other woman and you were his GF, there is no jealousy here its about two women being betrayed beyond belief. I have imagined myself many times being his GF and how I would feel knowing he had OW, and I KNOW its 10 fold the betrayal he did to just ME. It is THEM that orchestrated such a horrible position to be in that betrays and hurts both women to the core. And dont forget the OW there are always MANY. THey cheat on their wives, girlfriends and they even cheat on the other women with many other women. Make sense of that mess. Just so you know they DO NOT treat the OW better, we are treated like whores and we leave the relationship feeling like whores when in fact we are anything but. I hope you walked away from this knowing that the OW are NOTHING better than what you are, we werent prettier, sexier, smarter, we were just someone new and different thats all, someone on the side they were intrigued with, new body parts for them to explore their sexual addiction with, someone that would oo and ahh over them, give them validation they were GOD, so they could control and manipulate us also in their sick games. I think they could hide many things from us, and they liked living in that perfect relationship fantasy vs you living with him and KNOWING what he was like on a daily basis. We were left trying to put the pieces together wondering what it would be like to share a life with this man that was sooooo charming, smooth and exciting. Trust me the good sex probably lasted about as long as your good sex did, the OW also get the ED and D&D. So in the end we are all the same to them x0x0x
May 3 - 3PM
dudette
dudette's picture

all so true!

Thanks NLB. you got it right spot on as always! Dx
May 3 - 3PM
momoya
momoya's picture

Excellent post!

Thank you!

momoya

May 3 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

NLB

Excellent! I think the OW in my case is his mother! Oh and let's not forget his precious pooch! Gross! Anyone that wants him, can have him! He lost not me! Hunter
May 3 - 11PM (Reply to #8)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

OMG

you crack me up, his mother, ha ha well we know the relationship is platonic, (well with these one never knows,) ah yes the pooches, since he cant love humans his dogs will be content when he throws them a bone, vs us. ha ha ha what is that saying, "only a psycho a mother could love", or only a face a mother could love, sorry .......
May 3 - 1PM
Lisa87
Lisa87's picture

Woohoo Neverlookback!! Go Girl!

Woohoo, right on!!! Couldn't have said it better. Let the OW have them, mine says he is being sexually free (after our 2nd breakup)....doesn't want a monogamous relationship..doesn't have a girlfriend (oh thats why he travels to FL every weekend to see her). Wonder what she thinks/knows...I think they are going to swingers clubs so maybe she doesn't want monogamous either. Whatever, let them have their twisted sex life cause I know he sucked her in too. I just feel like he wont D&D her because she is doing what he wants (but maybe she wants that too and doesn't care that he is with other women). Guess maybe they deserve each other then
May 3 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

neverlook back

WOW, very powerful and very true. that is truly brilliant and it also touched a nerve with me,after 2years friendship with narc, out of the blue i gave him a peck on the cheek, he said what is that for i said its a thankyou for not beign in a relationship with me, and now i know who you are i never will be!!!!!!
May 3 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

its sad

but that is what it comes down to in the end, you know who they are and what they will NEVER be for you or anyone, it hurts like hell especially if you were emotionally involved with them, you cant win being the OW, or the GF, not a place I want to ever venture again much much too painful. I am sick of the word PAIN, I am not on this earth to live in PAIN and constantly have a broken heart, I know life is not always rosy but damn its better than being with a psychopath thats for sure.
May 3 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Used
Used's picture

neverlookback

even to be "a friend" is terrible, i ,so early on said this is only friendship ,only platonic and he did stick to that for 3years[until i found another man friend] and then all hell broke lose, if everything happens for a reason, had i not met other m/f i would probley still be backwards and forward with narc, getting less and less able to get out. here is another irony if at the end of my marriage something hadnt happened that made me not want pyshical any more, then who knows what would have happened with narc, i feel in a funny[not haha] reflective mood tonight, trying to take some good out of the bad, he used to say to me this is more intimate than sex, i agreed, we went shopping, days out, watched tv had meals, in or out ect ect, but even i began to relize i was in to deep and i said to a friend i drowning not waving, i must get out. hethen disappeared yet again and for first time since the day i met him i answered another man[yep iwas that into narc] that even when he disappeared i still would not aknowledge another man b/c he had told me not to so i didnt.madness or what?xx
May 3 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Being a student is terrible...

When the teacher involved is a psychopath. I never got romantically/sexually involved with the ex-Psych prof, but I *DID* consider him a mentor and a friend. Yet during the final D&D he didn't care that he lied about having a girlfriend (he knew I was in love with him, so he'd go all silent treatment on me if I asked if he had someone), he didn't mind flaunting his girlfriend after my pastor friend died, claiming that I was making sexual advances on him (when I hadn't), publicly reducing me to tears as he'd smile and serenely say "You're embarrassing yourself" and "I'm sorry I made YOU feel that way." My relationship with the ex-P was purely platonic... and in the end, I did the vanishing act. I didn't even tell his colleagues or my classmates that I was leaving. Playing sick emotional games with students (and he did engage in the push/pull, silent treatment, phone games, triangulation) is TRULY sick. When I wondered why he was the lone wolf during the final D&D and his colleagues weren't backing him... I get it now.
May 3 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

you have

to extract anything these sick disordered individuals instill in your head, ah excuse me YOU are the one with this disorder they call PDI, NOT ME, so why am I trying to make sense of what you are saying. Anything you say will be used against me, ha ha they have a way of doing that, its almost cult like, glad you got away from this friend, they play with everyones mind - dont even borrow a cup of sugar from him if he was your neighbor, I would rather WALK to the store.