WoundedSoul's story
WoundedSoul's story
First of all I would like to say thank you for creating this website where wounded souls can get support from wonderful women. I feel so sad that there are so many of us who have gone through this. My heart was bleeding when I was reading story after story.
Well here is my story. When I met my husband he was also charming, romantic, funny... just perfect and too good to be true. He made me feel beautiful in every sense of the word. We fell in love fast (well at least I did). Two months lter we got engaged. During our engagement I started noticing odd behavior. He could not keep his promises and he always had some kind of a logical excuse. The first 4 or 5 times I bought his excuses. Then I got impatient and started complaining. our arguments got more intense each time. I always found myself being the one who ended up apologizing. He had trouble setting a wedding date. He would set vague dates like "how about this winter... we will be married by winter". When winter arrived he would say that one of his family members needed money so he lent it to them and we had to postpone it to spring.
These kinds of mind games went on. One day I discovered that he had a female friend who he was doing business with. I didn't think anything of it. After few weeks he tells me how beautiful she is and how he had a crush on her before he met me. He told me she turned him down. I was getting upset as to why he kept this a secret. While getting off the phone he says "ok I'm going to go sleep with her now". I was so shocked, angry and felt disrespected. He told me he was joking and I was an idoit for not having a sense of humor. Well, I ended up meeting this woman. He didn't want me to but I insisted. When we went to her house. He sat far away from me. He hadn't told her we were engaged. He had told her a day or two before we met. So she was very shocked. He said "yeah I did this for my parents". Meaning he doesn't love me he is doing to make his parents happy.
I felt so hurt and low. He wouldn't hold my hand or show any love towards me in front of this woman. Ater we left I told him how upset I was with his actions. He told me I was being stupid because he was only doing that so she continues to be good business partners with him. She didn't want him at the time he wanted her but after he got engaged to me she had wanted him so he never told her that he was engaged to me. I found out that he always talked about me to her. Telling her how horrible I was and she suggested that he should leave me.
Somehow he tries to convince me everything is business related and I was acting like a "psycho" for no reason. Fast forward we get married. I find out about another woman in his life which he had kept a secret. His ex-girlfriend. She was still involved in his life. He financially supported her and her kids (none were his kids). He said their relationship was business only too. But it made no sense. NO SENSE!!! They acted like husband and wife. I couldn't believe he had kept her a secret from me. Of course we fought daily after that. He was always at her house claiming it was business. When we would fight he would tell me how horrible I was and that I was the worse person he had ever met. That I was a jealous psycho.
It's been almost two years that we have been together. He twists everything around and blames it on me. Every problem he has is because of me. I knew that couldn't be true. I knew something was wrong with him mentally. When I would repeat back the hurtful things he said to me he denied ever saying it. He would say I'm lying because he never did that or said that. I started researching personality disorders and I kind of knew a little about narcissists so I researched narcissism. He fits the description word for word. We don't have a sex life. He says because how can he have sex with someone who fights with him all the time. If we do have sex its a two minute thing with no foreplay... just take off your pants, stick it in and that's it. I know there is something wrong with him so I try not to let his put downs and insults get to be but he gets so cold and nasty. He talks about me to people. Tells them how horrible I am especially to these women. I kept all these things hidden from most of my friends and family. I guess I am hoping things will go back to what they were and everything will workout with time.
I am so confused and hurt. I don't understand what's going to happen. Is there hope? Can such a marriage work?
wounded soul
ok, there are two
welcome
I tried seeing a therapist
Definitely continue to seek therapy
I tried seeing a therapist
He is definitely a sick
Yes he is mentally sick. He
woundedsoul
Wounded Soul,,
compartmentalization