Divorcing a narcissit
Divorcing a narcissit
I followed all the rules, abided by our agreements, kept my son out of it. He broke all the rules, ignored our agreement, bad mouthed me to my son, put my son right in the middle of everything. So my son (9) met with his law guardian two days before our divorce trial date and lied to him! He told the law guardian exactly what daddy had been practicing since June. Daddy never says anything bad about mommy, never talks about the divorce, I want equal time with mommy and daddy, and then goes on to bad mouth his grandparents (my parents). My son admitted to "not wanting to get Daddy in trouble." So there I am in court with my soon to be ex's lawyer threatening to withdraw the petition for divorce if we don't settle (which restarts the prcoess that began nearly a year ago), the law guardian saying that he is going to tell the judge that my son wants equal time with Mom and Dad and that Dad is not saying bad things about me, and the judge who has 5 sons announcing that both parents should have equal custody in his opinion. Strikes one, two and three delivered 1 hour into my arrival at court. I had pages and pages of notes, eyewitnesses to his behavior, counselors and everything ready to present at trial. The trial would not have gone on because of his attorney withdrawing the suit and the judge would have almost certainly thrown out our temporary agreement in favor of 50/50 custody. So I was forced to settle and ended up with primary custody (8 vs 6 nights), $525 a month support (not the $850 I was entitled to), half his asses ($140K!!), and the loss of the collectibles adn personal posessions I left behind when I moved out. My son of course, is still not satisfied. He informed me today that his grandmother and father told him that when he's 11 or 12 he can set up the custody schedule. I have no doubt that my narcisstic ex and his enabling mother will successfully brainwash my son once again into to repeating exactly the script they devise. It worked the first time with only 8 months practice, can you imagine how they will have perfected it with 2 years to practice! I can only hope that the counseling that we start next week will free my son of the haze of adoration he has for his father. The same father who ignored him for the first 8.5 years of his life. The father who is his buddy and who leaves all of the parenting up to the same parents who raised him and his 50 year old brother who still lives at home and has no job. How do I break my son free of the cycle of mental illness and enabling that is my husband's family!!! How do I feel antyhing but fear and dread for my future and that of my son. How do I watch him become the enabled and pleaser that I was for so many years in a futile effort to keep the narcissist happy?
at least
divorcing a narcissit
Loss of Interest
Eileenbean
Eileenbean