Bugged and wistful...argh!

Psycho-boy is still so furious that I have a site with the factually-backed-up truth out there about what happened he's tried to hack it, my email and so on. 2 years ago a hacker friend of his in Australia hacked into my personal blog and replaced pictures for the last 12 posts with really disgusting gay porn photos. These jerks will do whatever it takes. Do some websearches on Narcissistic Rage. Here's one bit I found: Narcissists are interesting people, as long as you are not in their line of fire. But they are always burning inside, even when they look like they aren’t. They will deny they are angry in many cases, but a Narcissist is always primed for vengeance. The boy can’t help it. The Narcissist in his own mind is brilliant, perfect, controlled, calm, and unique. He sees himself as the most balanced man around. Unfortunately more observant people see the ruse for what it is…he is NOT balanced, he is very Unbalanced. This concept is security for him but it’s a slippery rug under his feet. He demands respect, regardless whether respect is due. Because he exists, he is entitled. His modesty is not seen much, though he might present himself as a simple fellow. His ego is inflated, but under it all, he is very insecure. He’s actually a bag of tricks, and for the uninitiated, it’s hard to avoid stepping in his dung. The Narcissist is constantly on the lookout for slights, perceived insults. Generally they have short fuses,(and the incidences of self medication, either through prescription drugs or illegal drugs or sex or alcohol are high…a way to deal with the short fuse) and will twist words to make insults , even when none are intended. Someone once said that a Narcissist is the bride at the wedding and the stiff in the coffin. They must be the center of all attention. They are self-centric. The world revolves around them in their minds. (If this behavior sounds like a 4 year old, it has some great similarities. Narcissistic behavior is honed from an early age. They learn to manipulate their parents, siblings, etc. They learn to manipulate the world around them. These children are generally the school bullies. Sometimes they also grow up to be the predators, the domestic abusers, the criminal elements in many cases… Nothing new here.) The Narcissist relates to the world, to his environment through his constant and unresolved conflicts. This might be the blood that floats their boats, the simmering internal conflicts. Since they are so self involved, they never turn off the tapes. They construct outrages that have never happened…they create a sense of paranoia within. The Narcissist sees every disagreement or criticism as a threat. He can’t react in any other way except by rage. But what causes this Rage? Narcissistic rage is a reaction to a (perceived) narcissistic injury. When his outlandish sense of self-worth is being attacked, or thought as being attacked by another, he will go to work: he will move heaven and earth to destroy the self worth of others. This, in the eyes of the Narcissist, makes him feel superior. There are no holds barred here: slander, innuendo, gossip, or just plan malicious behavior are the arsenal of the Narcissist. If he has cronies who will do his bidding, he will send them out to scout and spy. The Narcissist is a great Manipulator, and believes his allure is impossible to resist. He is a supreme user of people. The Narcissist has to feel power… again, and again. They are the drama queens of the world and need conflict. It’s a drug for them . It’s also a point of power and control. This uber anger is a substance that gets them feeling superior. Of course, they only get admirers from somewhat broken people ( or victims in their supply line) who are not so much admirers, but …broken. Sometimes they can’t think for themselves too much so they depend on the false aura of the Narcissist. More “normal” people may get caught in their web for a while, but then they break, shake and run. They realize all this tiptoeing around the Narcissist is constricting their own growth and existence. And this growth? It is truncated, because a person in a long term relationship with a Narcissist suffers a lot of psychic wounding. They have moved into the shadow of the Narcissist, and like a plant placed too much in the the shade of a bigger plant, they become clingy and fearful. Their essence is sapped until they get far away and into a different environment. But back to Rage. It may come in many forms, but it all boils down to the same thing: revenge. These rages are based on something. External sources might just be triggers. I believe they are based on fear. They are based on the perceived possibility that they aren’t getting the acclaim they think they deserve. This opens many cans of worms: perhaps, thinks the Narcissist: I’m not so brilliant? Perhaps I am not so sexually alluring? Perhaps I am not so powerful anymore? Perhaps I can’t attract the respect I NEED for the ego? (Nah, they don’t think this deeply… remember …they are PERFECT) Perhaps I am aging and not so attractive? This fuels more rage…or more extreme measures. To the Narcissist these rages are ‘justified and proper’… after all, their overblown concepts of themselves would make them judge and jury. But this rage impairs their cognition. What conclusions they draw about the ‘other’ impairs their judgment and their punitive actions. They can fast lose control of themselves and cause some injury or real harm. Rage might feel good to them (it’s a drug after all…) but it will deplete them later on in important ways. To other more normal folk, Narcissistic Rage is scary and also will, if they are really normal, make them rethink their relationships with Narcissists. I saw one Narcissistic Rage fest that cleared the room. Smart people. But a practiced Narcissist will try to control the damage to a point. He can sense when he is seen as pathetic or weak. And that is death of power for a Narcissist. Keep doing the same rage fest over and over, and you won’t get the same effect. Where does Rage come from? Deep within the Narcissist. It is rooted at the core of the personality. That is why it is so hard to control for the Narcissist. It’s embedded. It takes a lot of effort for our Narcissist to measure out his drug. Under the skin of the Narcissist: The dark side (can this really get any darker???) is that a Narcissist is always seething. As I wrote, Narcissistic rage probably begins in childhood. Perhaps the parents are overindulgent and the child can do no wrong. Any destructive or cruel behavior is ignored or of little consequence to the parents. In many cases the parents are Narcissists themselves and their empathy level is missing, and especially for their own children. These children are generally saddled with being the ’supply line’ for the parents. And perhaps the parents themselves have never been able to love the child just as a child: he has been pushed by the parents to make them feel more powerful in their own lives. Expectations of talents developed or intellectual capacities, etc. can be unrealistic or damaging to the developing ego of children. Self loathing is probably the tap root of narcissistic rage. Since these people generally project to others (yeah, to the blind!) that they are perfect, they rarely are treated. If you are perfect what problems do you have? It’s others who have the problems. But Narcissists over a time realize they are very much empty bowls of bowels. They have no empathy, so people are moving away. However, a marriage partner has a particular problem with a Narcissist and his Narcissistic rages: Either he erupts and covers everyone with his spleen, or he seethes constantly, and his personality becomes even more distant, untouchable, unapproachable, unemotional. They are empty shells, because they lack the spark of empathy. I firmly believe that Narcissists know what they do and what they are. (It’s not that they are not self aware. It’s like they know what buttons to push in others for responses, and they are laughing up their sleeves) But they can’t self-fix because that is admitting that they ARE a problem… for themselves and everyone around them. That’s a lot of introspection and they don’t want to do the work. Narcissists are also basically lazy people because they know how to manipulate others to do for them. So what do you do when the volcano erupts all over the floor?? - learn as much about their damaged personalities as you can. (this is for people who are married to Narcissists.) Others, run away. - Maintain respect for yourself and realize that although you might be married or partnered to a narcissist, you ain’t them. You are a separate and unique individual NOT him. Maintain your mental space. And remember he is using something called ‘projection’. It’s a defense mechanism. I don’t really believe he can’t contain himself, I think some Narcissists have such a warped sense of propriety and such contempt for others, they just don’t care What they do. After all, they are like big children, and they throw shit for attention and to get what they want. Don’t make the mistake of expecting a Narcissist to grow up. They just grow old and the emptiness grows, too. And they grow more and more isolated. Remain as empowered as you can, stay calm and maintain an emotional distance. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

Wow! They can't shut US down, so they'll go after something else apparently! Sorry, this must have been quite the headache for you. I remember the website being down, and that thought crossing my mind. My exN has left me paranoid, but you can't help but be a little extra suspicious after all you go through. It just proves they're cowards - mine certainly was. That's why he could never tell me in PERSON that he wanted to leave. I'm pretty certain my exN wouldn't think to come here because #1, I never told him I know what he is, and #2 He would never think he had a problem. If it suddenly dawned on him, he'd be contacting me, using his enlightenment as an excuse to get back. I know you just can't help some of them intruding on this space, but if anyone is ever tempted to show their guy this website in hopes of helping them, please don't. It won't help, it'll make things worse for you, and it's an invasion to the group. Just my two cents.