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  5. "lines" ... what they meant, if anything, and if anyone else experienced them?

"lines" ... what they meant, if anything, and if anyone else experienced them?

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#1 May 8 - 1PM
littlestbird
littlestbird's picture

"lines" ... what they meant, if anything, and if anyone else experienced them?

mine would say things like,
"when will the fact that i love you be enough for me"
and
"love me or leave me"
and
"i don't deserve to be treated this way; someone else will be very happy to receive the treatment i give them. i feel unappreciated and taken for granted."
and
"you sound (are) ungrateful, you sound like (are) a bitch"
and
"if you are going to be mopey, go mope somewhere else, but i don't want to see it"
and
"you are are so unattractive when you cry, why would i hug you? i'm not your father"
and
"get the eff out of my life"
and
"you just need to be with some boring guy who will coddle you" [i.e. i am so interesting and adventurous and you can't handle it/i don't have the time to spend thinking about you because i am not boring]
and, the kicker, the "main idea" of making our relationship work, the main source of brain washing...

"once *you* are happy, this relationship will be fine. you need to do yourself some favors and get happy. i can't help you.

also, when i tried to make a connection with him, to tell him something meaningful for me, asking him to take my hands and look at me in the eyes, he would refuse, laugh and say, "you're really creeping me out"

wtf.

i always felt so rejected. so insecure. so unworthy.

anyone connect to any of this???

May 8 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"I'm embarrassed, offended, disappointed"

That's what my ex-N said when I made myself REALLY vulnerable and told him that I loved him. Didn't strike me as a normal reaction. Even guys who are NOT interested don't say that. They'll be flattered. But they'll show their lack of interest in a more polite, humane way. C'mon, my ex-N,who was nearing 40,wasn't as mature as hormone-fueled high school boys!
May 8 - 2PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

lines

http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/02/16/he-said-communication-narcissists-not-possible also read the NARCSPEAK section at left thoroughly ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 8 - 2PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

littlest..

Check out the "Narcspeak" tab on the left side of the page. You'll see dozens of examples of thing things N's say and the 'translations' of those words. The examples you give are pretty blatant attempts from you ex to devalue you in a big way. What terrible, disgusting things to say to the person he is supposed to love. But that's thinking in normal terms...which they are most certainly not. Leave it to an N to spew out venom in your direction while trying to keep your reeled in at the same time. The blaming, critical, soul-sucking vampires will say whatever they feel they can get away with. They are sick bastards. I'll take a shot at a few: "love me or leave me"... *accept the abuse and poor way I treat you or scram "i don't deserve to be treated this way; someone else will be very happy to receive the treatment i give them. i feel unappreciated and taken for granted." *POOR HIM, he's the victim! This statement plays on abandonment issues, he will ditch you if you don't appreciate his greatness, so shape up! "if you are going to be mopey, go mope somewhere else, but i don't want to see it" *You have no needs or opinions, so if you're not here to just worship me, get lost...you are no good to me like this. "once *you* are happy, this relationship will be fine. you need to do yourself some favors and get happy. i can't help you. *Once you are in complete compliance through brainwashing, everything will be much better for ME, you'll do everything I want without question. Until then, you're useless to me.