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Mother's Day flowers

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#1 May 9 - 10PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Mother's Day flowers

How many of you have received mother's day flowers from ex N. My exN video chated with son on friday. He asked me to leave room, and when I did, I heard him telling sons that he sent mommy flowers to mommy from the boys. This may sound nice, but the red flags are waving. Feels like another game. He wanted me to know that he was doing this. I heard him telling boys that I am the best mommy in the world. Received flowers today with a note..

"You are a great mom-you are the mom of my kids-and I love you for every thing we created together, and for being a great mom now when we are off track. You should be happy and fucking proud."

"Off Track???" I am living in another state with our children because he has been having an affair. He is living with this other woman, I filed for divorce, which should be concluding in the next couple of months, and he is calling it off track???

I don't want to be over cynical, but this just feels like another manipulation. Is he trying to look good for the kids? Does he really believe his infidelity is just a little blurp in our relationship? The man is psycho! Please tell me if I am being to harsh, but it is slightly creepy....

May 10 - 12AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

flowers

Any way you can return them? You should have never accepted them but... oh well... next time you'll know. You aren't being cynical at ALL!! Stop doing that to yourself. This is pure manipulation on his part. He's slime. Wonder how his girlfriend would feel about him saying you & he are just "Off-Track"? He's playing a game. Don't acknowledge the note at all. Act like you never saw it or read it. If he asks you haven't got a clue what he's talking about. Give the note to your attorney as more of his mind-control & manipulation. And simply thank the boys for the flowers. If they say Daddy bought them say - "but they came FROM YOU GUYS! And I love you." NO CONTACT WITH HIM. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 10 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Mallory

No, you are not being too harsh at all. This man had an affair on you and has the nerve to say things are "off-track?" This man is delusional. And yes, he's doing this to manipulate you. You are a good mom, a wonderful mom, but he is trying to get under your skin. Ignore it. Do not pay it any attention. Stay strong and enjoy your mother's day with your children. You deserve it!
May 9 - 11PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to you, and to all the mommies here! Mallory, I don't feel anything you think about him that is negative as TOO HARSH...the man has had an affair openly in front of you. He's torn your family to shreds because of it and his terrible behavior. You ARE a good mom, he's got that right, but abusers only do and say things IF they feel it will be beneficial to THEM. He's trying to get on your good side by playing all warm and fuzzy. He's manipulating your emotions right now because you are not falling for the BS. Hey look! I'm a great dad suddenly! Puuu-leese... My exN also was good at giving me a compliment and a zing at the same time, just like you wrote here with the off-track comment. Example, "You mean the world to me, and even though I know you can be defensive, I hope you'll at least hear me out". They continuously lay the blame on us, no matter what the situation is, even in an effort to try to win us back. Seeing this helped me STAY away from mine. (By the way, who cusses in a Mother's Day card...honestly...) N's can be so crass, this was such a turn off to me. Anyhow... Enjoy the flowers, but chances are, they will be brought up in a conversation later on as, 'but I sent you those flowers and everything...'. Hope you get to enjoy mother's day, put your feet up, pamper yourself, and be proud of yourself for the big steps you have made recently. My kiddos are taking me to brunch...yummm!
May 9 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

string attached.

when exNH found my copy of Lundy Bancroft's book WHY DOES HE DO THAT? - he wrote in the back: "if you really think I did or do any of the things in this book then I am sorry... BUT you drove me to do all these things." I showed my attorney. We made photocopies. It was all projection. Everything comes with strings attached because they want something. EVERYTHING. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 9 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

geesh

He must have skipped a lot of parts, including ch.3, 'The Abuse Mentality', where he covers exactly this type of mind-set. NOTHING is ever their fault.
May 12 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

the love/ hate bond

"Creating a love/hate bond "Once a love bond is formed, it does not depend on pleasure to be maintained. In fact, it is very possible for a woman to be bonded to a man she “hates.” That’s because it’s not merely her emotions that have bonded with the psychopath. It is also her brain pathways and hormonal chemistry that have responded and bonded to him. Since she is high in relationship investment and is predisposed to being highly responsive to relationship rewards, sex and bonding are perceived by her to be a reward. When she thinks of the psychopath, her body remembers the pleasure reward she has experienced with him even if her mind remembers his cheating ways." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “He was a poor divorced dad.” Whatever story “hook” was used -- it capitalized on and exploited the women’s empathy, compassion and supportive nature. Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/