If you were married 24 years, you have a stake in everything. The house, the furniture, his pension. He must pay child support. A judge will make sure he's homeless before a child is homeless because the father does not want to pay.
Also, I think you will be in less pain if you stop expecting anything from him. respect, kindness or decency. not happening. He's not going to apologize. Also, the FB page is another person's--that woman has a 1st Amendment right to express herself. You do not have to look at her FB page. And do not. All this drama because of a FB page. Obviously there is another issue here & the FB page is an excuse for a scene.
If you are getting a divorce, then get on with it. No contact. His mail must be forwarded to his new address. All discussions involving the divorce & child via lawyers. Have his stuff moved out of the house ASAP. he will have no excuses to come to the hosue except to pick up the child for visitation. And then he can have her walk out of the house to his car. And you have to plan YOUR FUTURE alone without this man. Stop wasting time on him & his new woman.
It's all about you. I know after 24 years this is devastating for you. It's a difficult time to have to recreate oneself. Especially for a woman approaching middle age. But it's all about you & your child. Delete him. DELETE HIM!!! Ns delete everybody when they are no longer useful.
And you are useful because you are providing him with these arguments. OW is not doing that yet because she's new. They thrive on these arguments & dramas. Projecting onto you that you are crazy. The sooner you are no longer a source for him to dump his toxins . . . the sooner he will start dumping somewhere else. My ex-N's new woman contacted me after she left him. I really cut mine off quick. His NW was getting dumped on really soon into their relationship. They have to dump somewhere. Make sure it's not you any longer. 24 years is too long. free yourself.
about the house wrecking... I missed that on the way out the door! Call the police. Most people who do this stuff suddenly back down and stop being violent when others are involved (as in the police and even other's around).
He's a big bully. Start doing it differently and it will become normal after a bit... and that means getting the police involved and seeing a lawyer.
He's not treating you right now so how can it get any worse? At least this way you call the shots and move on with your life. Let him be someone else's problem and block his texts.
he just called me and said wanted to see how u r, but to let you know, if you told me the right way, i would have had her take it down, now, im not saying a word, huh, maybe shell put naked pics of us up, and guess what not my problem, too bad youre suffering, you brought the pic into your house cause youre nosey and i dont care, im done with you im done doing favors, and you need to get help youre a sick woman, ive never known anyone so sick in my life. i told him his homewrecking whore did this to add salt to my wounds, but guess what, you put her before me and the kids anyway, you think shes so innocent, well shes not, and he said, guess what id put a prostitute off the streets before you, and i said well shes no better she is a prostitute and homewrecker. and he said maybe, but im putting her first and letting her keep the pic up as long as it hurts you........how can anyone be so cruel. how oh help me, im so sick, why is hurting me more, ive suffered enough, why, would he want to hear me suffer more, this mean cruel bastard, why would he let her keep this picture up.
I thought he said he was never going to call or text you again? How long did he wait until after saying that? A couple of hours? He apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word never. But you do. Put it to good use.
he will be back, hewill continue to pay the bills.... this is his control of you and with you, i had all this with exh when i got him out kids had left, he still wanted to give me some money i said no but he still did, he still had a key as well, when i said you dont need a key, if i am in i will answer the door, he said i still give you f..king money and now you want the key back.. i changed the locks,,he still put money thru door, i gave it to my kids to give him back. and you have blamed her for the face book. dont. its him. my exh has his g/f on face book but as a freind... he knows the shit would hit the fan ,if i thought he was trying to rub my face in it.. you must stop falling for his shit.so he cant tell her what to do with her f/b, but can tell you to stop surfing the net... proof, if he wanted to tell her to take photo,s down he would... he doesnt want to its fine by him you seeing the pair of them together, i am sorry jaycee, he thinks no more of you than he does of her... he is playing you both and loving it... do you think she is happy with the fact he still pays his wifes bills.. no way!!!so he is doing it to the both of you.xx
to hear about this Jaycee.
I'd suggest stop looking at facebook, block him and her. Not because of him saying you are sick (and you're not, the only sick thing in this is him) but for yourself.
Doing total non contact with him is the best thing, and this means looking at facebook and anything else
And what does he mean he won't pay a bill? It's his daughter.... legally, he has to.
A friend of mine is in a similar situation, she felt she had to listen to him, be friendly. I don't know your whole story but you don't need to try and be friends with him (his comment about coming around being friends isn't good for you... forget about him). She just waves at him at the door, because whenever he comes in the house he starts on his problems, he was physically and mentally abusive to her in the past.
Get him out of the house and your life, you really don't need this.
I find this site to be a great support, I also found Susan Elliott's book on getting past your breakup to be really useful (and the blog). As soon as you stop reacting with him it will get better. It'll hurt at first, but you don't need this big baby in your life (yes, he can see your daugher if that works out but why should you put up with it?).
You cannot be on friendly terms with a narc like that. Look after yourself, don't respond to him, cut him dead.
Good luck and keep posting.
my friend has only just started sorting out the legal side after weeks apart. She's still not ready to do it properly. But in order to get there she had to stop seeing him.
He was doing stuff like ringing up her friends (including me! her oldest friend) looking for sympathy etc. Didn't work. But initially it was so ingrained in her that she should listen to him etc she kept doing it, and it made her worse. He's already told her he'll get a new girlfriend.
Let them be someone else's problem, I know that's hard when you are feeling alone but you can move on to a way better life. What will they do? Torment themselves and others forever more? Yup.
With my friend, I'm fairly sure he'll fight her all the way, but he has to pay something, that's her battle for a later date.
See a lawyer once you've got over this, look after yourself for the next couple of days while you think about starting that process.
Well.......boils always suck,lol.............never had one,but heard they're pretty painful and really ugly....so,hahahah,i know i'm immature,but i love when my ex looks like shit:)
Well.......boils always suck,lol.............never had one,but heard they're pretty painful and really ugly....so,hahahah,i know i'm immature,but i love when my ex looks like shit:)
Morty's Right
agreed..
thanks for the replies
Jaycee
Do not ever talk to him again
PS
jaycee
I'm sorry...
I forgot to say...
Boils
Boils