lilygirl's story

Is he a narc or mentally ill?

I'm very confused, hope someone can shed some light. I dated this guy off and on for 6 months. When I first met him he seemed ideal, small town doctor, singer/songwriter. It was a long distance relationship. His songs were romantic. On our first weekend together he ignored me one entire day and worked on a song. He came to my house and brought nothing. he never gave me any gifts, not even a card for Valentines day. He drank excessively and smoked pot til he was incoherent. He ate me out of house and home. Took all sorts of prsecription drugs. All he did was talk about other woman. On our second get together he brought up swinger sex. it appears his entire motivation was to get me into the "lifestyle"; when I told him I would kill myself if I ever did that he replied, "We'll start slow with just two guys." He was on at least two swinger dating sites the entire time I saw him. I caught him twice having cybersex with strangers. He often did this at work. He started sending me porn flicks, I told him to stop I didn't like them. He watched porn 2-3 hours a day. Once when we were having sex he started talking to an imaginery guy pretending the other guy was having sex with me. OK, creepy, I know. He wanted me to find some guy to have sex with and send him pictures!
He was talking to some other woman about having a foursome and she got thrown out by her husband and wanted to move in with the good Doc. He got realy depressed after this, he didn't want to live with her. Told me I was the only woman he was interested in and he was going to devote himself to me. I started calling him on his behavior, ike why did he have 3 hours to have cybersex with a stranger and ignore me that day? four days later I got an email saying he realized he was still in love with the married nurse he had closet sex with and exchanged emails with two years ago. And he hoped I would forgive him someday. Huh?
I'm shocked, but think I'm suffering from cognitive dissonance. Oh yeah, 4 days before he was to visit me he met up with a man and woman he just started chatting with to have sex. He never used protection. yes, I got tested and am OK so far. Hope someone can shed light on this.