I'm a mess...

My ExN called me Wednesday night and we talked for four hours. Then he saw me on Thursday, but when home sick and was out of work Friday. Tonight I got an email from the OW saying that he's in bad shape and not doing well. She said whatever we talked about tripped emotions in him from his childhood, his wife who died of cancer...etc. Now he's falling apart and she's just trying to fix him. She also said he told her he had been wanting to break up with me for a long time before he cheated on me with her. I tried to tell her he was a narc and she just said , no he isn't. Now I feel foolish, maybe he isn't. and she is there to help him and be the good guy. and I'm the one that caused him to break down.