JustVicki's Story

My inner compass is going haywire! Narcissist?

I suffered through a horrible year with a Narcissist. I started therapy while I was with him and am still in therapy eight months after the breakup. But to those who ask "Will it get better?", the answer is MOST DEFINITELY!

I intended to take at least a year away from men to get myself pulled back together, but sometimes life has other plans for you. That is how my current situation began.

I was FB friends with this man. He is a very popular, well-known man in my community. We started communicating on FB (I initiated it one evening) and before I knew it, we were seeing each other. This is how the past four months have been:

We have gone out 3 times, our initial meeting, my birthday, and just for a while on New Years Eve. He goes out every night of the week, almost without exception, has for years. He is a creature of habit. He doesn't drink, but he loves to play TRIVIA at different bars and restaurants around town, is very active in our community and is pretty well-known.

He comes to my house twice per week. Like clockwork. We aren't always physical, but we are most of the time. He is very sweet to me, non-confrontational, and we both pledged to be monogamous. I could be going with other men, he says he had not had a physical relationship in 3-4 years, but he obviously loves the attention of younger ladies.

We are "older." I'm 55. He is in his 60's, well-to-do.

Even though he is sweet to me, I can't help think it isn't genuine. I think it is for sex. Period.

I worry that his being totally consumed with being around others, including people (women) half his age is a red-flag. Also, we don't "date.

He also has a daughter-like friend that he says he had a close relationship with years ago. She is much younger than I. He says that they are now just friends, but they share a dog from their days as a couple, a couple who he says never had sex.

I swear, I'm not making this up. My question was going to be, is this man a Narcissist, but after writing this down, I think my question should have been "Am I really this big of an idiot?" Yes, apparently. Any input would be appreciated.