Introspection's story

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Apr 22 - 7PM (Reply to #20)
Introspection's picture

The superficial things we did on a dialy basis...

I've been avoiding looking back at my past but know that you are right. Since I got myself into this STUPID situation where I have him around and at the time, can't get away, I wanted to place all past activity "ON HOLD" until I'm in a position to go NC. I fear that going back to my daily journals, back three years ago, I may have a relapse and it may become unbearable to work around him. Currently because he does not show an interest in me, I can deal with him at that level...someone that reports to me and nothing more. I continue to have very peaceful days and continue to apply for jobs with other agencies. Now, once I'm away from him...I will create this list because I captured a lot of my feelings and conversations with him during the first year after our break-up so I'll have a lot of references to complete this list. Thank you sweetheart for all you help and support, you are an angel. Are you doing okay?
Apr 10 - 9PM (Reply to #16)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


keeping all possible fallback supply sources open NO CONTACT ~~~~~~~~~ Repetition does not transform a lie into the truth. - Franklin D. Roosevelt Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals
Apr 2 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
Amazed's picture

Realize it is like talking to an inanimate object, the N

They have no continuity in their relationships, they weave them together whenever they feel the need. Once you see them for who they really, are, using you and treating you like a doormat to swish their thingy on, and that is it, you will not be attracted to them,,it comes with time,,I am getting there slowly,,,
Apr 2 - 9PM (Reply to #11)
Introspection's picture

Hello amazed....

How long has it taken you?
Apr 1 - 9PM (Reply to #8)
janetc's picture

invasion of body snatchers

Anyone remember that movie? That is what N's are....they have invaded a human body, they act and look good, and can sound good too, BUT THEY ARE NOT HUMAN!! THEY ARE OUT TO STEAL YOUR BODY TOO! Whenever I get tempted to think maybe I should listen to something mine says, I think of this and it helps.


Mar 31 - 10PM
joeP's picture

Can't say

Can't say if he's an N or not. But I think that he's at a minimum insensitive, obsessive, hurtfull, callous, controlling,without empathy and definately NOT good for you. I can say with a certain confidence that he definately has some concerning issues...
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
Introspection's picture

Thanks JoeP...

It is difficult to say, I did give very little information. As I continue to read other poster's story, my issue seems small. But then again, I have to live with myself all day long :-). A little more info; he claims that: He was abused as a child by his mother. His parents divorced when he was very young and his father walked out on him. He always wanted to get his mother's love and approval; his failure to ever get this from his mother makes him crave the attention of the opposite sex, hence the reason why he is an overt flirt. He can never get enough attention. His two x wives were at fault for the divorce. He like independent women and they both were when they first got married and later became very dependent on him. He is: very concern about his appearance works-out every evening very obsessive about keeping a clean car and home very concerned about appearing to be a perfect person; he was absolutely concerned about me telling our friends what he did to me a person that has little of no shame when asking to borrow money then he will not repay the loan. A normal person would not ask his girlfriend for money and then not pay her back and again hit her up for a second loan. At one point after I caught him lying to me, I was furious and lost my temper and slapped him. He got so upset that he held me against the wall and put his arm against my throat. He appeared to want to hit me but after a few minutes, he stopped and let me go. He will never apologize for anything that he did to me in the past. He says that he was just as hurt and I was but he manages the pain given his childhood experiences. He drives an expensive car; just bought a home that in my opinion, is not in his budget, just bought all new expensive furniture. A casual observer would say that he was rich. He says that women are too much trouble and he is not interested in a relationship; he needs a "friend with benefits" partner and someone to hang out with... You are right JoeP...he is definitely someone I should stay away from. Writing all the above is painful and embarrassing and I can only imagine that many will read this story and think that there must be something wrong with me?
Mar 31 - 1AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Welcome Introspection

Welcome... - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - No one here is qualified to DIAGNOSE your abuser. Suffice it say, it may be enough that you feel there's something seriously wrong enough for you to come here as well as get away from him. You are in the best position to call him a Narcissist or not so keep reading and educating yourself and I'm sure you will come to the right conclusion. Remember, you did NOTHING wrong and this is in NO WAY your fault. While introspection is good, a brutually honest assessment of him and his behavior is also necessary. - PLEASE read the stories of others. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do. Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. - PLEASE read through our whole blog: - chock full of articles about Ns and healing in the future, please read the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: - Please remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
running's picture

Welcome introspection

Barbara is so right, reading all these stories has helped me greatly. I no longer feel alone or like I did something wrong. This is a great site!
Apr 2 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Introspection's picture

Thank you running...

for your warm welcome and yes, you are not alone...there are many victims like us and we should reamian each other's support. I'm not familiar with your story so I'll stop in and read all about you experience.
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Introspection's picture

Thank you Barbara...

I've got to say that he had mastered the "crying" scene. Everytime he was in the dog house and/or when I was about to leave him, he really knew how to pour it out. He is very good looking, a great dancer, and a charm of a man. He can make you feel like you are his princess but behind your back, he was flirting with everyone, a cheat and a liar. I will contiue to read the stories and information posted on this site. I know that although I may never if he is or isn't an N, it is not about him's now all about me. I need to continue to restore myself and there should never be even the slightest thought that I miss him or that he had "qualities" that I can not live without. Now that he is no longer interested in whatever I had to offer in the past, it will be much easier and faster to move on.