Going to lose my f***ing mind

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#1 Sep 23 - 5PM

hooklineandsinker

Going to lose my f***ing mind

Met this guy who seemed nice last Sat. He asked for my phone number to go out to dinner. I gave it to him.

It's now Thursday following the Saturday we met. It's 23.50. He's clearly not going to call tonight, and if he calls tomorrow, Friday, it will be too late to set anything up for the weekend.

Another weekend alone. I REALLY thought that this was my chance to start forgetting about N, because this other guy had come along. But NO FUCKING PHONE CALL.

WHY AM I STILL FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP AT AGE 42? Met yet another friend from my last job during the week who's got married since I've seen her. AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO BE ALONE MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE? Why would this guy take my number and NOT FUCKING CALL?

I seriously don't know how long more I can take this. Why does the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD get to meet the right person and marry them? Am I just supposed to be lonely for the next 40 years? Again, the only explanation that makes sense is that there is some kind of curse on me. I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW I COULD JUST DESTROY SOMETHING.

#2 Sep 24 - 6PM

CarolKittyGale (not verified)

Hooklineandsinker,

Sweetheart look at this logically,that guy not calling you was a trigger. In the scheme of things he really isn't important to you just a bloke that you met on Saturday that seemed okay but he has triggered off emotions inside of you because he let you down. I don't know your story with your Narc but if you have been emotionally/physically abused you have to watch out for the triggers. These are things that I have learned. That's why I am not dating until I have healed properly. On a few occasions I have felt like you are feeling but I got through it because I knew it would pass because I understood why it was happening. Look up some of the old links on here and get your hope back. My heart goes out to you love and hugs. xxx

#3 Sep 24 - 1PM

Happy1

I'm so sorry you are having

I'm so sorry you are having such a bad Friday. It's hard when the N is with another woman. I know what it's like to want to latch on to another person to take away some of the pain we feel. Unfortunately, even if you were that other person tonight, it wouldn't matter. You need to appreciate who you are what you have to offer. I know it's what I struggle with on a daily basis myself. I've emailed an old flame recently just for attention I guess. I just don't know what it is that I want and I think that's the journey we are all on. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Happy1

#4 Sep 24 - 1PM

Briseis

(((((((hugs))))))))) Get it

(((((((hugs))))))))) Get it out, girl!! That ain't the way to forget your narc, honey. It sure does seem logical that it would. And maybe it WOULD, a bit. A new distraction . . . being truly loved and cherished. It makes sense that it would help A LOT. However. Waiting for some OTHER PERSON to provide for you a "way out" is going to be very frustrating. Your life is, again, at the mercy of someone else. In your case, someone you don't even KNOW. You're just attracted to him. What you know of him would fit on a 5x7 card. And you're gonna wager your HEART on that? It's not quite true that everyone else is getting married and living happily ever after. Some of us are NOT getting married and ARE living happily every after LOL!! And some have to wait . . . and so on. I hear a lot of folks here worried that they will always be alone, and I want to say "How can you possibly know that??" Its just a fear, not reality. Don't let your fears take the place of reality :) And for gawd's sake, don't put so many hopes on a virtual stranger. Get real with your desperation, get into it and explore it a bit. Each potential boyfriend is a total crapshoot. This new guy could be worse than your exN. He could have a hundred thousand in credit card debt. He could be secretly gay. Find yourself before you find someone else. In all seriousness. Then that desperation won't blind you, and you can peacefully seek out friendship, lovership, all that good stuff :)

#5 Sep 24 - 12PM

hooklineandsinker

Why is the brother next to

Why is the brother next to me (2 years younger) in a stable relationship with two lovely children? Why is the next brother (4 years younger than me) in a stable relationship with two lovely children? Why is my sister (7 years younger) married for two years now? Why is the next brother (10 years younger) married with two beautiful children? Why is my youngest brother in a stable relationship for three years now? Why is my best friend, who started dating her guy around the time I started with N, now married to him and expecting their first child? Why is my other friend newly engaged? Why is my ex work colleague now married since I saw her last? WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL ALONE? WHEN IS IT EVER GOING TO END? WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO FIND A HEALTHY, LASTING RELATIONSHIP? I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING REASON OVER THIS.

#6 Sep 24 - 4PM (Reply to #77)

michele115 (not verified)

I'm going to give it to you straight.

Slap yourself in the face and snap out of it. FIRST: If you are coming out of a NARC relationship, the LAST thing you need right now is a man. If you are on the route to self destruction, then by all means, yes, do run out there, get your fill, overdose on the abuse, and when you are truly nothing left but a shell, then please do join us. We all fall from time to time, we all do get weak, break NC whatever; however, if you are about recovery and getting yourself back and serious healing...you need to change your thinking. Comparing yourself to others who are married, whining and bitching honey - that's life. Lets focus a bit...why ain't you living in some third world country wondering where your next meal is coming from?...Are you sitting in a hospice somewhere with a terminal illness just slowly dying a long painful death wondering in anticipation when D-day is coming? Has your house burned down, you lost everything and had no homeowners insurance...are you homeless?...I'm just wondering because I need to really understand why some piece of shit man is the whole reason why you are so angered and frustrated. Yes, headtrips, games, all that good stuff... Lets put it this way, and I'll be the first to drink my own damn kool-aid...you will not attract a good man till you get yourself in check. In order for the Narc illusion to work, we did some fucking acting ourselves, and lets be real honest here..."oh I tried to please him, I did everyting"...Yea, we did everything and we denied ourselves, and we secretely resented it...because he didn't give back...so okay we're hurt, we feel bad we're enraged...but how about dealing with ourselves. Hun, if you dont change your thinking NOW...this minute and get off the pity pot you ain't gonna recover. You want to tell your story, share your gripes your pain fine...but I hear ALARMS when your grip is about an asshat who didn't call and then the tirade of why why why why ain't I married, when is it gonna come. It may never come. There is your answer. Can you live with yourself if it never comes? Live life on those terms and understand the rest is fucking gravy. HUGS....HUGS....HUGS... Now it is the weekend, go find something YOU enjoy and go do it! -Michele Age: 42 Never Married

#7 Sep 24 - 5PM (Reply to #78)

hooklineandsinker

Short answer: No, I can't

Short answer: No, I can't continue to live if it never comes.

#8 Sep 24 - 6PM (Reply to #80)

jen79

hookinsinker

Ok before you want end your life, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph5ac_OZrrg&feature=related and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g4SMo3J39g&feature=related and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX6pX4LOLig&feature=related

#9 Sep 24 - 5PM (Reply to #79)

michele115 (not verified)

Short Question

Why Not?

#10 Sep 24 - 12PM

hooklineandsinker

The tears are back and the

The tears are back and the murderous rage is back. It's Friday night and I am alone again, while he's off to see his ugly whore. The guy who said he'd call me for dinner didn't bother to. WHEN IS IT EVER GOING TO END? I am so angry I could smash something. This is no life and if this is the way it's going to be for ever, I'm out of here.

#11 Sep 24 - 6PM (Reply to #75)

michele115 (not verified)

Ahhh, that ever elusive..Friday/weekend trigger...

hooklineandsinker... I read some of your posts. You are right and I am going to validate that we all deep down want someone we can connect with, love and have that love reciprocated. Problem is that I fear at our age, the FEW good ones are taken, the rest are NARCS..oops, I forgot to say there is probably a percentage that on the DL...yes, hun...gay as a three dollar bill but they won't admit it...(memories...) Alas; however, I shall digress... In my opinion, the product that is out there these days is substandard. That makes it even more difficult to find someone that is healthy for us...we have a lot to contend with. But, I will say, that just reading your posts, it is evident that you are in alot of pain. That pain and the desperation (which I am not calling the kettle black...I want the fairy tale too) unhealthy people can SMELL...they can detect it, it's like a sixth sense. You claim to know yourself so well, then I would tend to think that at the first red flag with your NARC, he would have been HISTORY. All of us here I think have similar stories, EMOTIONAL backgrounds and patterns. We've attracted the SAME kind of man. I am not a professional in the laws of attraction, but basic fifth grade math tells me THERE IS A PATTERN. SO...I've said it before and I will say it again. From my perspective, there is nothing a man can give me that a good friend can't give me EXCEPT penis. I can go to a movie with a friend I can go to dinner with a friend I can share my dreams and hopes with a friend I can laugh with a friend Actually I can't think of ANYTHING I can't do with a friend EXCEPT... Have some really great sex...because for me...I enjoy it with someone that I'm involved with...ALBEIT being involved as MY HISTORY has shown doesn't necessarily mean I'm intimate (oh well live and learn).... THAT BEING THE CASE...until my head is together, the only real thing I'm missing from a man is penis. PENIS can be bought...any shape, size, and color via the internet until you find..."THE ONE" In the meantime, work on you because the truth is, any man that has his shit together doesn't want a woman who doesn't know WHO SHE IS. AND, I think it would be safe to say, at this point the mere fact that we are on this board, sharing the same experiences, having been devastated by various experiences...at this moment WE DO NOT HAVE OUR SHIT TOGETHER...YET...BUT we will get there! AND we will be dangerous and a force to be reconed with. Do you Enjoy you Worship you Adore you and...Love you And the rest will fall into place.

#12 Sep 24 - 4PM (Reply to #72)

better off

Are you serious?

Are you saying you're contemplating taking your life? Please don't do that. Please go to an ER or call a hotline or do something! You say you're alone, and yet you named a large family that would be DEVASTATED if you killed yourself... all those brothers and wives and nieces and nephews struck by grief that you were gone.... What about your parents??? What about your friends? THEY CARE ABOUT YOU. You are NOT alone, you just don't have a man sitting next to you today. We don't even know you and would be broken-hearted if you gave up and ended your precious, beautiful life. Do not kill yourself... over a man! Let at least your pride pull you through this.

#13 Sep 24 - 5PM (Reply to #73)

hooklineandsinker

It's not over one man. It's

It's not over one man. It's over ten years plus of go-nowhere relationships, it's over no one being capable of following through and actually doing what they say they will, it's watching it happen on an almost weekly basis for everyone else I know, it's over wondering how the hell it came to this, sitting here alone at 42 and not even knowing if I will ever have my own children, and then on top of it all, it's over thinking I had found the love of my life only to be kicked in the teeth YET AGAIN. Enough is enough. I'm just one person, there's only so much I can take. If this is to be all my life consists of, getting shat on over and over and over again, I've no interest in living it.

#14 Sep 24 - 6PM (Reply to #74)

michele115 (not verified)

Hookline

It's not over one man. It's over ten years plus of go-nowhere relationships, AND WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US, AND DON'T THINK THAT ON SOME LEVEL ALL THOSE "HAPPILY" MARRIED PEOPLE DEEP DOWN DON'T FEEL THAT ON SOME LEVEL THEY SETTLED...DON'T THINK THAT ON SOME LEVEL A LOT OF THEM FEEL IMPRISONED...THAT MANY WHO APPEAR HAPPY ON THE OUTSIDE ARE SECRETLY CHEATING ON THEIR SPOUSES, HAVING HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BEHIND THEIR BACKS...SOME OF THE THINGS WE SEE ON THE OUTSIDE ARE ILLUSIONS. I HAVE ONE FRIEND WHO IS BEAUTIFUL, LIVING IN A VERY EXPENSIVE HOME, HAS THE CAR VACATIONS ETC. I SAT THERE AND ASKED HER ONE DAY...HOW DO YOU DO IT? WHAT IS THE SECRET? HOW DO I GET WHAT YOU HAVE - THIS IS A WOMAN WHO HAS IT ALL, NOT A MEAN BONE IN HER BODY AND SMART....SHE SAID "I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS OF (MY HUSBAND)...TRANSLATION: SHE'S LIVING WITH A FUCKING GHOST...IT IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT IT SEEMS. YOU ARE BEING GIVEN EXPERIENCES TO GROW AND DEVELOP SOMETIMES WE ARE PUT IN SITUATIONS TO LEARN LESSONS. DON'T FIGHT IT, LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. it's over no one being capable of following through and actually doing what they say they will, THE WORLD IS FULL OF ASSHATS...WHAT CAN YOU DO? YOU'RE GONNA THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY BECAUSE OF THIS? AT 16 WITH A NARC MOTHER, I REMEMBER FEELING THIS GREAT DISTRESS...I REMEMBER ACTUALLY TAKING A HANDKERCHIEF AND TRYING TO CHOKE MYSELF, I WAS SO ANGRY, SO HURT, SO UGHHH, I CAN'T EVEN PUT A WORD TO HOW I FELT...AND SOMETHING SNAPPED...SOMETHING SNAPPED AND A VOICE SAID: "MICHELLE, FUCK THIS SHIT, IT AIN'T WORTH DYING OVER, IF ANYTHING, LIVE...LIVE....LIVE...LIVE TO GROW SO STRONG THAT YOU WILL MAKE OTHERS WANT TO DIE BEFORE YOU EVER THINK ABOUT TAKING YOURSELF OUT. NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE ABUSE I SUFFERED IS WHAT HAS CAUSED THESE UNHEALTHY PATTERNS WITH MEN, AND I'VE STUFFED A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT AND SO AT 42 IT'S COMING TO A HEAD. HOOKLINE, OUR HORMONES MIGHT BE FUCKING WITH US TOO...LIVE HOOKLINE...LIVE...LIVE...LIVE...FUCK THE NONSENSE, FUCK THEM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE...YOU ARE NOT WEAK, YOU DON'T NEED THE RELATIONSHIP, OR "ILLUSION" TO FIT IN SOCIETY...YOU TAKE NO PRISONERS AND LIVE FOR YOU ON YOUR TERMS, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE COOKIE CUTTER MOLD...YOU WANT TO BE YOU...LIVE...LIVE...LIVE! it's watching it happen on an almost weekly basis for everyone else I know, it's over wondering how the hell it came to this, sitting here alone at 42 and not even knowing if I will ever have my own children, and then on top of it all, it's over thinking I had found the love of my life only to be kicked in the teeth YET AGAIN. PEOPLE COME INTO AND OUT OF OUR LIVES..SOMETIMES FOR A SEASON, SOMETIMES FOR A LIFETIME. PEOPLE DIE TOO...LOSS IS A PART OF LIFE, BUT WHY END YOURS BECAUSE OF IT...IT'S NOT YOUR TIME. Enough is enough. I'm just one person, there's only so much I can take. If this is to be all my life consists of, getting shat on over and over and over again, I've no interest in living it. FIGHT...LIVE...FIGHT...LIVE...TELL THOSE VOICES GET THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR HEAD. YOU WILL LIVE TO SPITE WHOMEVER HAS DISAPPOINTED YOU...YOU WILL LIVE JUST TO DRIVE THEM MAD, YOU WILL LIVE AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY IF ONLY TO MAKE OTHERS WHO ENVY AND WANT TO HURT YOU JUST A LITTLE MORE ENVIOUS....LIVE...AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKER WORTH IT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? LIVE!!! FIGHT THIS, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL...YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE LOVE YOURSELF!!!! LIVE

#15 Sep 24 - 7AM

CarolKittyGale (not verified)

I was married at a young age

I was married at a young age and my husband died in a car crash after we had been together for 16 years when I was 37 and I was left to bring up our two children and I have never felt so devastated so I know how awful it can feel to be alone, but feeling lonely and trying to fill the void can also make you make major mistakes and ignore Red Flag moments and let down your healthy boundaries. Since then I have had a N/P and a N in my life and now at 49 as much as I think it is wonderful to have a loving relationship I really wish I'd spent time alone getting to know myself and dating myself and doing what I wanted to do instead of worry about the idiots that came into my life. I thought that someone new or a date could take away the pain of losing my husband but they didn't and I just got caught up with a really violent man and then a poisonous dwarf. I have learned that another person does not take away the loneliness or make you happy so for now I am dating myself and it ain't half bad...laugh!!! I do have the odd wobble when I think it would be nice to have somebody but then I think of all the experiences I have had and realize I'd rather be alone then have the crap I have had in the past and doing something for myself like getting fit swimming or running and coming home and eating something home-made and lovely or spending time with a nice friend. But it takes time to get to that place so be patient but when you do it is oh soooo empowering. I've met men but most of them are not what I am looking for so I don't accept dates because I don't think I am ready and I don't think it would make me feel better in the long run. I have blokes in my life that are just friends and they take numbers from women all the time and don't call, personally I think it is not the one but some people are just like that. This one may well call in the future but you are far to important and special to worry about someone who doesn't call. Everything will come good honey...big hugs

#16 Sep 24 - 5PM (Reply to #70)

hooklineandsinker

I am so glad you think so.

I am so glad you think so. I've lost all ability to have faith in the future. It's nice if someone else can belive it for me.

#17 Sep 23 - 11PM

iAmMINE

(((((((funsize)))))))

... u silly wabbit... that boy ain't gonna make u to forget that pain ;) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

#18 Sep 23 - 11PM

helldweller

funsize

Just wrote Morty that 42 is some kind of freak out thing. I will be 42 on October 16th, and I couldn't be more fucking angry. I got married at 28 because I didn't want to live my life alone. I could have used a bunch more years alone but I sacrificed them because I wanted security. Joke's on us, right? I am so fucking pissed, too. And the worst is that the narcs can feed forever. I just wrote yesterday about my 85 year old uncle who was grabbing the nurses asses while he was dying in the hosptial, because he was so fabulous. I know my narc is like that. Tan, rich, famous, clouted, fabulous, forever. He will die standing up, no matter how fucking sick he is. He has everything in the world, and I am a pile of shit now, as far as "success in the eyes of the world" goes. And as far as security and comfort goes. I hate being alone. I don't care what anyone on this board says. I hate it. I want someone to be with me, live with me, love me, go to bed with me. I hate it.

#19 Sep 24 - 9AM (Reply to #61)

hooklineandsinker

Helldweller

No, the joke is NOT on you. I have spent just under half of the time during my last 20 years alone, and the other half dating. I know myself up, down, backwards, forwards, left, right, in, out. I am sick to death of hearing that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone, blah blah. No human is truly happy on their own. We are just not built like that. I think a lot of people on here are confusing the concept of wanting to be with a man to get all of their validation from him (not me) with the concept of simply being so goddamn lonely and wanting a proper, intimate, healthy connection with a man (me). I very much feel that the joke is on ME, helldweller, not you, or others who got married early. Everyone kept saying, oh, it will happen, just live your life. Well I'm FUCKING 42 and it is nowhere close to happening. I don't know how I am going to carry this rage with me throughout the rest of my life. I don't know how I am supposed to keep going to family and other events and be the only single person in the room. I don't know how long I am supposed to be happy for other people's happiness while NEVER getting any lasting happiness of my own.

#20 Sep 24 - 9AM (Reply to #63)

helldweller

funsize

I know, I know, I know. I at least did get married, did have children. I'm supposed to be grateful I had the experience. But it just makes it worse having had it and now not having it. I'm the stupid single mother who has to go everywhere with her little ducklings dragging behind her, dragging past the families with their houses and two incomes and family portraits and the dads hanging out together and the moms hanging out together. And I swear I am so sick of parties and family stuff. No matter how much time goes by, everyone feeling sorry for you because you're alone (if they know you) and wondering what's wrong with you (if they don't) because you're alone. I certainly don't need a man to validate me, but I need a man to help me raise my kids, pay the bills, take out the garbage, and just TALK TO ME for Christ's sake. I know how fortunate I am, funsize, to have my daughters at least. I can't imagine how I would feel if I was just completely alone. If the whole thing--marriage and then then narc--was a complete bust. I'm not going to tell you you're going to find someone, because I don't know if you are, and I sure as shit don't think I am. I know at least you're not full of shit, and that's nothing to scoff at. I've been thinking about that lately. I may be alone, but at least there's no smoke being blown up anyone's ass at my house anymore. No one's cheating on anyone, no one's lying to anyone, no one's in a loveless relationship, no o pretending anything.

#21 Sep 24 - 9AM (Reply to #64)

better off

I'm sorry, but you guys, and

I'm sorry, but you guys, and so many here, are really involved in a lot of distorted thinking about what other people think. Everyone seems to think they are some sort of failure or the "stupid" single mother, or the only single one that everyone is judging. I never think those things about single people, or single moms. Here's a news flash... LIFE IS HARD. It's hard no matter what. It's always going to be hard. We all just get different flavors of hard. Maybe everyone's 42 because that's the age when everyone figures out, OMG, it's REALLY not going to be like I thought it was.

#22 Sep 24 - 10AM (Reply to #67)

helldweller

different flavors of hard

better off is right, as usual. I think it's my arrogance again. I don't want people to stereotpye me, or to not know the story. And I think I deserve what I want. I mean if these rich, homely girls in sweatpants and ponytails have their adoring husbands, why don't I?

#23 Sep 24 - 10AM (Reply to #65)

helldweller

different flavors of hard

#24 Sep 24 - 11AM (Reply to #66)

hooklineandsinker

I agree. I'm a pretty woman

I agree. I'm a pretty woman and very grateful for it, but it nearly makes me feel MORE like a freak when I get surprised reactions from people at parties etc that I'm not married. Not only am I not married, but I'm not even engaged. Not only am I not even engaged, but I'm not even dating anyone. Not only am I not even dating anyone, but when I give out my number to random fuckwits who seem sincere, they don't even call. And that's not even factoring in the biological deadline to have kids. I can't even get out of the starting blocks. It feels so wrong and unnatural to be alone at my age. And yes, I do worry about what people think - or not so much what they think as that I would FUCKING DIE if I thought they were pitying me or feeling smug and superior to me because they're all married up with kids. CHRIST I JUST WANT SOMETHING NORMAL AND EVERYDAY. It's no fucking use. I'm obviously MEANT to be alone and lonely and angry my whole life. The anger is back with a vengeance today and I really want to SMASH SOMETHING UP.

#25 Sep 24 - 9AM (Reply to #62)

better off

I think there is something

I think there is something of a cultural disconnect here... because you also said in another post that in your culture marriage is the target. Maybe you should move to America, eh? If you were in America there is no way that at 42 you'd be the only single person in ANY room!! See, here in America, marriage is not the target, individualism is always the target, but everyone gets married anyway, and then everyone gets divorced, because they always want something else. Clearly, it seems that where you are this really is harder. I'm sorry it's causing you so much pain.

#26 Sep 23 - 7PM

hooklineandsinker

Sorry for all the cursing,

Sorry for all the cursing, folks, but sometimes you just have to scream and shout. Nothing personal. You guys know that already though, right? :)

#27 Sep 23 - 7PM (Reply to #59)

better off

Fuckin' A! ;-)

#28 Sep 23 - 6PM

jen79

read cancer schmancer

from Fran Drescher. She was about 42 when she got her cancer diagnosis, lost her fertility, was divorced, "The Nanny" was over as well and her dog died. She was so down, and she survived. Now she has a a hole cancer schmancer movement, is applying for being in the senate, has helped to get a cancer awarenes bill get through by the government. This story of her is really a role model, how life can goes on even when you have lost everything and how to make lemonade out of lemons. She founnd a purpose in her life she never thought of before. I really recommend that book! And she has a nine year old her junior boyfriend now and is happy! She said she put out the thought for being ready for romantic love again, when she was happy again on her own, and she got a new dog, cause she as well needs someone to take care of (and dogs always love you, no matter what, kids sometimes grow up, become cheaky and start to hate you).

#29 Sep 23 - 7PM (Reply to #57)

hooklineandsinker

Jen,

Yeah I did think of getting a pet. I must look into that properly. I think a chincilla or a rabbit. Or maybe both. I can't have a dog or a cat (although I love cats) because I'm not here during the day and it's not fair to them, and a cat especially needs to get out of the house during the day.

#30 Sep 23 - 6PM

betty2020

Im sorry but there is no

Im sorry but there is no such thing as another man that can make you forget about your xN. Nor is that a way to approach this. Maybe its not the right time.??? Have you thought that there is something more that you are suppose to learn about here? You can not force a change to take place by replacing it with another person. He can not give you what your looking for. It is simply impossible. I know its not what you want to hear but unfortunately it is the truth. Slow down. I know your upset, i know you want relief but this is not the solution to your problem. If you want relief look within. It is the only solution that i am aware of that works. Humans will forever fail you. But you do have the golden ticket if you want to cash it in and this comes from inside. Its up to you. But it comes from within and not another human. Sorry :( xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#31 Sep 23 - 7PM (Reply to #50)

hooklineandsinker

Betty

Yes, I mean I get all that, you can't be happy with another unless you're happy on your own, etc etc. But really. Are we all just supposed to exist like little islands on our own for ever? What's the point of living in a world like that? We are built for intimacy and sexual intimacy is a big part of that, else why are there two genders? Obviously no one is perfect. 50% of marriages end in divorce, etc etc. But that means 50% don't. 50% of couples are living contendedly and happily with one another. Why do some people get that and for others they might as well be trying to climb Everest in heels as find the right relationship?

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