Going back...

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Oct 24 - 12PM (Reply to #18)
Emma
Emma's picture

I was too good for him. I

I was too good for him. I gave that shit everything, my heart and soul and got nothing back. Now I know why. He got more of my time than he deserved. The way I look at him now is as a parasite, an empty shell and is incapable of giving me what I want/need. I just pity him now. I feel sorry for the next one..if only she knew what she was getting herself into!
Oct 24 - 12PM (Reply to #17)
Emma
Emma's picture

I was too good for him. I

I was too good for him. I gave that shit everything, my heart and soul and got nothing back. Now I know why. He got more of my time than he deserved. The way I look at him now is as a parasite, an empty shell and is incapable of giving me what I want/need. I just pity him now. I feel sorry for the next one..if only she knew what she was getting herself into!
Oct 24 - 11AM (Reply to #13)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

He was getting supply from

He was getting supply from them. Period. It takes a lot of supply to feed the ego of a Narc. Also...welcome to the old object club. That is what you become once you are D&Ded. Don't delusion yourself to believe otherwise because Ns get bored easily and are constantly seeking new sources. New sources are valued more than existing/old sources.
Oct 24 - 11AM (Reply to #14)
Emma
Emma's picture

My misconception

Was that he was any 'normal' fella out there who just fed up with me, who fell out of love with me and didn't want me around anymore, even tho I tried my hardest to keep Jim around and interested, and tried to show him as much love as I could. He kept telling me that I was boring, and kept going back to his exes... Now I know why, now I 'get it'!!
Oct 24 - 12PM (Reply to #15)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

That's what they do to all of

That's what they do to all of us until we read up and wake up. These guys are walking danger zones, best to be avoided at all costs...because they cost us so much. Now that you know what he is....now you know why NC is the only way to go forward. There is no reasoning with a Narc, no reconciling with a Narc, no getting the upper hand. There is only getting out and getting away and tossing that rearview mirror.
Oct 24 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Hey Emma...it's good for you

Hey Emma...it's good for you to have that awareness...keep reading. If going NC and letting go of a Narcissist relationship was that easy, we would not need boards like this one. It is precisely because it IS difficult that the boards are here. Several of us on this board have gone back (multiple times) and we know that the outcome of going back is exactly the same...D&D. You are only as good to a Narc as he has deemed you and then, for no reason what so ever, you are deemed no longer valuable. Obviously, we would love to have you avoid that hurt...which is why NC is recommended. Yes, NC hurts...but it's temporary. Going back to the N simply continues the confusion and hurt and keeps you from moving on to better relationships (and yes, there ARE much, much better relationships out there). The choice is ultimately yours. If you do go back, and I hope you don't, then use that as simply more learning about how disordered he truly is. Go into it knowing that you WILL be D&Ded again. Go into it knowing that to him, you are only as good as what he needs you to be...he doesn't care about you...he doesn't care about anyone. I'm glad you blocked him..that's a huge first step and you should be very proud of that. HUGS
Oct 24 - 7AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

He is thinking of ways to

He is thinking of ways to abuse you or another..Hoover vs silent treatment.. Whatever works best! He not thinking about you the way want him to be !! Hunter