"RUN FOREST RUN!"
God I love that movie!!!
I want to apologize for the pain I'm in, but I can't. I WILL do what you suggested. Thomas Sheridan really helps. right now, my beautiful gay son is singing over the rainbow to me......yes, there is beauty in my life.......ex was jealous of my son and his talents and gifts. what a FUCKING bastard!!
You make so many important points for me, BD. I'm grateful for your sharing. I'm not offended or put off at all.
I think you're right. But I'm hurt. And for the first time, I'm really able to admit, how much hurt there is.
truthfully, I was always okay with my body. Just ok. But now, I hate it. I hate the way I look. I hate that I'm thin.
I know that sounds very strange..........but after his choices, when I thought he liked that part of me...and while I felt ok with it......
I hate it.
Time for a sandwich, i guess........
Sun,
My N had brought a duffle bag in one day after he had been "fishing". It sat in our bedroom for a few days and since I am not a "snooper" I left it alone. I was off from work one day and decided to do some major cleaning and decided to go through the bag. In the bag was size 7 tall jeans and lacy thong underwear and a few other things I still cant discuss.
I am a size 12-14 and 5'6" and brown hair. She was tall and thin and blonde with a model figure. She had his baby and he ended up throwing her out face down in the mud.
Prior to me he was married to someone my size and wieght and looked much like me. Prior to that he was seeing someone that weighed 225 and was short and blonde.
The point is...it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what she looks like or what she has. Its not about her, just like it wasn't about you. Its all about him. He is what he is and he will eventually show his true self.
Nothing is different now than it was in the beginning with you. She will eventually suffer the same fate.
Scream, cry do what you have to do to get it out. Accept that you are hurt and mourn it. DO NOT RUN YOUSELF DOWN...it is not you. It's his personality defect.
I would love to be thin. I have fought my weight all my life, but I am me. I will never be thin but I will make the best of what I have.
Any woman can be beautiful. Be what you are and who you and the best you can be with what you have.
You are at rock bottom right now. I know, I have been there. I was completely alone and crying and screaming in a pillow in the corner. It was horrible.
I am here to tell you, IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE!! I eventually picked myself up. I'm still recovering and some days Im still sad, but I am on the path to becoming the best I have ever been. You can too. You don't need anyone else to be the best YOU can be. Its time to make it about YOU.
You are loved. You are a wonderful person. You are smart and going to finish your education and have a great career. You are just mourning a loss right now ...the death of the illusion you loved. You will get past this just like others go on with their lives after the death of a spouse. Remember this is temporary. Hang in there.
Your post has me in tears.......
I think you're a beautiful heart. I can see that in your post.
I'm crying a lot. It hurts.
I'm glad I see my therapist tomorrow....
Thank you.
I know youre hurt. Im hurting for you. I was in your place and some days I still hurt...but I don't cry anymore.
Let yourself cry and do whatever you need to to get it out. Take as much time as you need..but promise yourself to not stay in this suffering.
I am so happy you are going to a therapist. That is really great. Hang on to that and know they are going to help you through this. You are not going to continue to feel the way to do right now.
You are going to feel better. If you need to go to your doctor and get some meds. I had to. There is no shame in that. Do what you need to do. If you were sick and needed and antibiotic you would go to the doctor and get one. This is no different.
My heart is with you... I'm here for you gal.
BD
Ok that's enough
Coffee
Coffee.
Coffee...
Let yourself cry