The silence is broken

38 posts / 0 new

#1 Sep 1 - 10AM

roey

The silence is broken

I have been NC for 9 days and accidently sent a text to my N that was to go to someone else. He responded that he thought I sent the message to the wrong person but it was so good to hear from me! I did not respond but a few hours later I told him the text was for my mom and that it was a mistake. He immediately started texting me...first text,
"That's ok I assumed that it was intended for someone else, but has been wonderful to hear from you. I hope that you are doing well. Do you know how much I miss and love you? I know that you won't reply, but I just wanted to reiterate it. You can't possibly know what you mean to me. L, M."

The cards come every day for the last two or three weeks. I will post the card later. After I read it I sent him a text saying "I read the cards" He thought I did not read them. I know a ploy!

Then his next text..."Do you know how I feel about you then? How sorry I am for what I've done to us? How I've not been the (name) you know over the past year? How I'd do anything to make it up to you? Do you know I love you? Thanks for reading the cards. It helps just to write, as you've always said. R, I love you."

Then another one " I wish you had been here for dinner last night. Spaghetti al Limone. Lots of lemon, cream and cheese. Decadent but so good. Will I ever cook for you again? In some respects, this hiatus has been good for me. ( I asked him to go away for a month)It's made me really look at myself and I'm not crazy at what I see, but I hope to make up for may faults. ALl due to you and I thank you for it. Heading home tmw, but not looking forward to it. (He lives with his wife) If you should like a walking partner Sat. or Sun. , I'll be available, and if not, well I guess I'll walk alone, but what a shame."

There was one more after this but you get the message. I thought he was rather bold to ask about walking with me. I don't know what I feel. I really don't want him back. He cheated on me with the OW this past year. He made me feel like it was me going crazy every time he lied to me. He has a wife.... It is a big mess...help.

#2 Sep 2 - 9AM

Deidre40

Roey--your ex sounds creepy

Roey--your ex sounds creepy and disgusting the more I hear about him. Bleck. Be thankful he's gone. Doing you a favor at 64? lol A legend in his own mind, I see.

#3 Sep 1 - 3PM

How could I

Oh would you

Oh would you text mine's OW for me???? WOuld love to let her know that she is the next of his many conquests!!!!!! Oh we should all ban together and start texting for each other! Sweet revenge! LOLOL

#4 Sep 2 - 12PM (Reply to #36)

Deidre40

how could I

I’ll do it. No fee for the first 10 texts. :=P I’ll even throw in texting the ex N himself for free! Lol I could pretend to be an admirer…lure him in…then go NC when I have him ‘on the line,’ so to speak. Oh the fun we would all have!

#5 Sep 1 - 12PM

dazedandcnonfused

curiousity

I am curious what made you contact this OW? And what made you contact the OW and not want to contact his actual wife? Do you think his wife knows about you?

#6 Sep 1 - 1PM (Reply to #27)

roey

contacting the OW

It took a lot of nerve to contact the OW. My N kept telling me there was nothing going on with them except Tennis! Sex, Tennis...I guess it is all the same to a guy!I told him I was going to call her and he said go ahead. That went on for a month or so and finally I sent her a text. She could not possibly understand what she could do for me. We went back and forth for a while and I had asked her to meet me. She said no, but she would talk on the phone. I called her and asked a lot of questions. She was floored! I was a normal intelligent woman. He had made me sound like a dumb, depressed loser. As we talked we realized that he was treating us the same. Same text messages, same comments about our bodies... everything. Sex was the same. Our "Baby Doll" nick name. She realized what he was and did NC right away and still has NC. Maybe because I had 12 years invested in this man it was more difficult. As far as his wife goes, I have never contacted her.

#7 Sep 1 - 7PM (Reply to #34)

juliamarie

Lol!

The tennis match seems like a great analogy for this relationship...back and forth...back and forth...my neck hurts already! This is a busy guy. I don't know how he finds the time for tennis!

#8 Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #33)

dazedandcnonfused

Do you think his wife knows

Do you think his wife knows about you? maybe its time to contact her?

#9 Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #28)

Deidre40

OMG…He called you the SAME

OMG…He called you the SAME NICK NAMES??? I want to call this man myself, and yell at him! :=P Seriously, though…what a joke. And he told her you were a loser? Ugh. Now, he turns everything around and sends you sweet nothings, hoovering? He’s an ass. And nothing worse than someone his age acting the way he is…like a schoolboy getting primped for the prom. OH lawdie. Lol I laughed out loud when I read…’’tennis and sex…same thing’’ lol You could text back…’’look, grandpa, we’re done. Get over it.’’ ;)

#10 Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #32)

Deidre40

Noooo…better yet. I could

Noooo…better yet. I could text…’’Hey, I heard you’re sexy as f*ck…for an old man.’’ Lmao! Yes! Oh, I know you won’t let me do this…lol but, it’s funny to fantasize…lol I’m being bad today.

#11 Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #29)

roey

We were one in the same

Whether he was with me or the OW we were one in the same. "Oh I love your back, you have the most beautiful back." "These breasts, that mouth!" Yes, same lines same everything. "THat ass!" He put her hands over her head...then he did it to me. I asked her very personal questions about the sex since it was such a big part of the relationship. He told her sex with me was horrible. Told me that sex with her was horrible. Fast and dirty. He even told her very personal things that I told only him... things about how I masturbated when I was younger... Then he said that my breasts hung down to my knees! That it took me forever to have an orgasm... That when he came up to see me he was doing his "duty". Such a good man to take care of me!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I was fucked over big time.

#12 Sep 1 - 5PM (Reply to #30)

CaminoReal

Omg! Same language/Same body parts...

It is incredible that mine made same comments about same body parts! He commented on other parts of my body too. He also put my hands over my head and liked to put his hands around my neck! He never hurt me though. Funny, he also made comments about me always wanting sex, that he felt like he was servicing me!!! And this he said one time when he punished me and withheld sex from me. I never knew which persona would surface. I believe that he let me go thru a lot of trouble to arrange time to be with him, just to disappoint me and punish me by withholding sex. But, I believe he did this bc he was going to have sex with someone else later and wanted to be sure he could perform manly enough for her. He liked women 30 yrs younger than him...

#13 Sep 2 - 8AM (Reply to #31)

roey

reply to always wanting sex

Mine made comments all the time that the only thing I wanted him for was sex. He was just a toy for me! Yes, it was like he was servicing me also and doing me a favor at that. What a guy! He eventually told the OW that it was his duty to come see me to take care of me. 64 years old and he thinks he is servicing me!!!!!!!!! He sure seemed to be enjoying it. Said my vagina felt like silk. From day one he told me that....

#14 Sep 1 - 1PM (Reply to #25)

Used

DAZED

GOOD QUESTION...AND HOW DID THE OW COME INTO IT..

#15 Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #26)

roey

truth

I had to contact the OW to get the truth because he would not tell me, she did! I don't think my N ever thought she would! She even told him that I was asking very specific questions and at first he told her to lie to me. She said NO I will not lie. He said, OK go for it! TEll her everything. And so she did... I would be curious to talk to the wife but I would not. SHe has been through enough living with him!

#16 Sep 1 - 10AM

Deidre40

I meant to add…kudos on the 9

I meant to add…kudos on the 9 days! That truly is awesome, and with a guy like this especially…a smooth talker, etc…SO EASY to get hoovered back in. So, your strength for remaining NC that long is to be admired. Go NC again. It was an error that you sent him the text. Let it remain that way. Lol Don’t entertain any of his nonsense. It’s all nonsense. I mean…what does his wife think? Does she know? Does the other woman know? This guy thrives off drama, it seems…they all do, but this one, moreso. I do feel for him though—apparently he is an empty soul, in search of women to make him feel whole and complete, and only God can make us feel that way. (my belief) He will never be happy chasing all these women. Stay strong.

#17 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #23)

Deidre40

The spaghetti dish does sound

The spaghetti dish does sound pretty good though. Before you go NC, get that recipe…would you? Lol I’M KIDDDDDING! LOL!!! :=P

#18 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #14)

roey

Thanks Deidre. I contacted

Thanks Deidre. I contacted the OW after a year of going insane! Turns out he was telling her lies about me and he was telling me lies about her. We don't know what he tells his wife. I feel sorry for her. They have been married 40 years. I have been with him for 12 and the OW with him in a physical relationship for a year but knew him for 3 years before that. He is a lost soul and easy to feel sorry for. Those are very tame texts. Some of the texts are amazing! He is very intelligent, attrative and the best actor going. He has it all but probably very sad inside. I feel sorry for him.

#19 Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #19)

Deidre40

Oh please let me text this

Oh please let me text this man? Lol Seriously. He won’t know who I am. I could be like…’’hey, I heard you’re sexy as f*ck.’’ And he’ll reply…no doubt about it. And then, I won’t ever reply again. Lol It could be really funny. Roey is thinking…to herself…’’dee’s lost it.’’ Lol

#20 Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #20)

roey

Yes!!!!!!

I think you should text him and tell him how good his spaghetti sounds and what you would like to do with the spaghetti! He would love that. He would be all over you. Just what he needs one more...then he would stop chasing me most likely! Thanks for the laughs and I will see about the recipe!

#21 Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #21)

Used

IS HIS SPAGHETTI, THAT THING

IS HIS SPAGHETTI, THAT THING THAT DANGLES BETWEEN HIS LEGS.

#22 Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #22)

roey

spaghetti

Perhaps it is the same thing!!!!!!! That is why he added lemon, cheese and cream.... It needed to be improved upon:)

#23 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #15)

Deidre40

holy cow...how old is this

holy cow...how old is this man? been married 40 years? it shows that they truly don't ever change. How sad to be what…almost 60 and still juggling women? Never learning anything. I think that there are some women who just make a deal with themselves, and they stay married…no matter what. I can’t imagine not knowing your husband is carrying on for decades with other women…I mean, to be that unaware shows either she knows and doesn’t care anymore…has accepted her plight, and figures she’d rather be with him than be alone which is very sad.  Or…she doesn’t have any idea…which is mind boggling in and of itself. I dunno. I feel for you and her and the other woman. I am sitting here just dumbfounded by his age! Lol You sound strong. I think you’re gonna be just fine, but it does hurt. What hurts is that we believed in these people…and all along, their intentions were never good. That’s what sux, I feel.

#24 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #17)

roey

Too funny!

I laughed when I read your reply! How old is he! Yes, 64 years old, looks 50 maybe and in amazing shape. He is lovely no doubt about that. He is smooth beyond words! He is charming, intelligent, gentle, a gentleman...you name it. Holds the doors, orders for me at restaurants, knows his wines...the list goes on forever. Easy to fall in love with. Swept off my feet big time. I was married at the time too. What a mess! Hard to belive that a 64 year old man is still doing this.

#25 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #18)

TNR1

Actually, I expect that a lot

Actually, I expect that a lot of Ns are still doing this. I expect nothing less from the one I'm involved with. I expect he'll continue to have his OW for the rest of his life. Even being caught doesn't stop them...they just make excuses and go on their merry way.

#26 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #16)

Deidre40

And let me add to that...that

And let me add to that...that I don't mean to imply that women who stay married to these men for years on end, are somehow to blame. Please know, I'm not saying that. I just know that to stay in a toxic relationship, for that long...(figure he had to be absent a lot juggling different women, to say the least) can mean many things...I know that we have all taken a shot to our self esteem. After a number of years, I'd have to think his wife's had dwindled down to pretty much nothing...so she might truly feel 'stuck.' I just wanted to add this...didn't mean to imply she was at fault whatsoever for being with this man.

#27 Sep 1 - 10AM

Hunter

ROEY

Its all Crap! ALl Words and no action. Ill walk with you We'll have more fun trust me. You need to send him a message, RETURN to SENDER! Hunter

#28 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #12)

roey

crap

I know it is all crap. Then I see him and it all rushes back. I am afraid I will give in at some point. Thanks for walking with me, physically and emotionally!

#29 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #10)

Used

ill walk with you. at his

ill walk with you. at his friggen age...he would need someone to walk with him...dont they ever give up.

#30 Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #11)

OneoftheEXs

lol

i agree used... at his age.. he is the one who needs someone to walk with!! goodness gracious.. DIRTY OLD MEN EVERYWHERE!!

#31 Sep 1 - 10AM

Deidre40

Oh wait. He has a wife?

Oh wait. He has a wife? Forget this man, not just for yourself, but think of her, too. I understand what you’re going through…but, for your own sanity. Stay away from this guy. His words are nothing more than bait, like a predator. At first, reading them myself, I felt for the guy. But, knowing he has a wife AND cheated on you with ANOTHER WOMAN? Oh no, nothing and I mean…NOTHING…good can come from resurrecting a ‘relationship’ with this type of person. I wouldn’t reply. I’d change your number. It is hard to read these sweet nothings, but that’s just it. They’re predicated on NOTHING. He is married. He needs to figure that out, before being with others. But, to cheat on her, and you…and another woman? He’s not worth your time. He just wants as many woman as he can juggle to prove something to himself. Be one less ball he’s juggling. ;) I’ll be praying for you…I know this is hard!

1
2
next
last

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews