i was already with him when 5mnths later he met her, he mentioned her a couple of times but then he mentioned a lot of women...i did not have a clue that he went into a relationship with her and yet she knew about me, and when it all came out, she had said to him why has she [me] got a power over you well if i did have i imagine its cos i wouldnt have sex with him and when we argued and he disappeared lol, he used to say to her i am never ever going to talk to used again not this fucking time...
omg i have just relized for him to have said that to her...he was with her when he disappeared..and then he would crawl back to me, i was the ow as well...what a bastard....funny enough thru all this the only thing that kept me going [when i dropped him] was the fact i hadnt had sex with him....she kept saying he has used me, he has used me....even if they are not together any more he must have wound her up about me...if i find out he is still doing it THERE WILL BE TROUBLE BIG TIMEXX
They stop when we stop. My X's other 2 X's both just cut him off cold and he never contacted either on again. As long as there is so much as a crack open in your door, they will be back.
God bless,
Goldie
This has not been my experience with my narc. Women line up for this guy. Go figure. He is pushing 60, grey beard, no sex, and goes to bed at 9pm. Good grief - it's my DAD.
Seriously, my narc gets livid when I read his facebook account and know everything he is doing with his life. The band and the cars etc. He threatens me. I see other posts about stalkers, but quite frankly that has not been my experience. My narc pretends I NEVER EXISTED.
The secrets seem to be sacred to my narc. His new GF, just LOVES him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do these women LINE up for such LOSERS?
Having been one of "these" women (weren't we all at one time?) The best I can come up with is that once past the shimmer a glammer of what they pretend to be (which may really just be a projection of what our best qualities are if I read some of these postings correctly) and when we realize they are "damaged" (but may not really understand HOW damaged or what the true definition of this damage is and what it is going to do to us) we want to "fix" them. We want to be the one that is special. Sure there were others before us (my N was married 4 times, plus a baby momma, plus god knows how many COUNTLESS barmaids and biker chicks he went through) but WE are the special one :). We are the one that is going to pull the lever on this slot machine of dysfunction and come up with the inner prince charming that we just KNOW is in there (Cause we saw him in the very beginning right? oh wait... that was just maybe a reflection of ourselves...).
I was interested in a soap site he ran about my favorite soap opera (notice my handle? "SoaperGirl"). I was interested in the storylines for several years and as a result developed a non-romantic quasi friendship. Just an email every now and then about the soap..what was going on the show.
Eventually his wife was diagnosed with cancer which killed her several months later. Having been widowed by way of cancer years ago, I was sympathetic to what he was going through.
Afterwards, he described having a terrible time with grief (I never realized he was playing the pity card or that he was a narc!). I just offered sympathy and comfort from time to time. My heart went out to him.
Then I got to read of all his terrible romantic escapes going so wrong. Ah, poor baby! Well, I never expected anything romantic to happen between us, but I hated seeing him suffer so much. Life just hadn't been fair to him at all!
One day he sent me an email asking what if we were meant to be together? I was flattered and I responded...it was a big, huge mistake on my part.
Women line up for a loser man because they are so desperate for a man.
Until women decide that it's OK not to have a man they will continue to line up for all of these pieces of shit men.
My narc left me for his new narcisstic supply - a single woman with two kids and no life apparently for most of the last 14 years since her last husband killed himself.
She is a loser also. I sent her an epistle about my narc's life and she still wants him. go figure. Why women dont believe other women about a piece of shit man is one of life's strangest puzzles. I might have kept him around to watch for a few months, but then give him the boot. He is now living in her guest room with her and her two high school kids. Nice example.
He threatens me anytime I make any contact with her or any of his other "suppliers". I know all of the secrets, I know the combination to the lock, I know where the bodies are buried. He doesnt like that.
Well, HIS day of reckoning is coming. Be patient. Sit back. It will come. You will watch and LAUGH and walk away.
I believe most narcs will SOMEDAY attempt contact with you...they crave and desire ALL previous narcisstic supplies. I have seen my narc contact women from 20 years ago. They never forget a target - ever.
Remember, you must be something special or he would have never been interested. Remember, you are the key to the oxygen supply - turn the nozzle off.
I love what you wrote here. I am in your same position. I know all of his dirty little secrets. He pursues me but tells me to stay away from "his girls" and not tell them what he is up to. He always tries to have girls in different groups of friends that dont know each other so that he wont get caught. But this time I told one of his girls the truth. I am not sure what she is going to do about it. But I was wondering, now that your N knows that you know everything about him and his other women does he still contact you? And if he does contact you is it with raging or is it with the charm again? I rather that if mine ever contacts me I hope it is with rage. It makes it much easier to continue on.
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Yes, I know all the dirty little secrets as well. He confided so much in me and shared so many intimate details of his life. I could nail him to so many walls. I also kept many of the emails that he sent to me. So I think my leverage against any retailation is that I never gave into him sexually and I know all his mess. He is 61 not sure how long he will continue because his true colors show up sooner than later. It will be interesting to see when his son goes off to college. I know that the #1 lady is getting the D&D treatment......time will tell.
I think this is exactly what happens and you've explained it very well. Mine once told me that the previous one "Worked so hard at breaking through his walls." (You know, the walls he erected from being so broken-hearted and "victimized" in his past. Poor, pitiful him.) "Nobody worked as hard on a relationship as she did." And what effect did that have on me? Well, "I" will work even harder on this relationship. "I" will PROVE to him how important he is to me, and how I love him more, unlike her. "I" am better and more special and he will see that WE were meant to be together. If she had really loved him him as much as "I" do, she wouldn't have left when she did to work things out with her husband. "I" on the other hand am committed and will SHOW him.
ladybird123
That's right
Confused
Why do these women LINE up for such LOSERS?
I never lined up for my narc
Losers - always win
Four Aces
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Four Aces and Rainbow1
So True