Smooth Operator

So I've ordered Lisa's book and another one (freeing yourself from the narcissist in your life). I've just finished Women Who Love Psychopaths...and it was just mind-boggling how it was so my story. Lots of little pieces, little comments, little questions just clicking into place now, like the Rubik's cube solution coming together. (If they are a puzzle, it's definitely a 3-dimensional one!!)

I was talking about "the stare" on another thread. Reading about that was amazing. I made this thread to just talk myself thru some of the puzzle pieces.

He said a lot of little things that made the little voice say *he's done this before.* And yet that didn't add up quite right either at the time. It does now of course.

One thing he did that was fricking brilliant...was to actually TELL the truth about every detail that was fact-checkable. I mean, if he'd said or implied he was a Navy SEAL or CIA operative I would have laughed in his virtual face. My dad was a counter-intelligence agent and special forces, so that one would never work on me. I'd think, internet predator!!!! Instead, he was gradually revealing his background and damn, but it was too good to be true. I was very skeptical. But it was all true. I was following the red herring of schools and jobs and athletics...things I might not believe..but damn, it was all true. He was so honest, he was TELLING THE TRUTH. He was telling the truth about his wife's affairs. I could even find THAT online. (high profile). OMG. It's for real. He was *trustworthy.* Of course, his nature and his personality...*that* wasn't the truth.

When he broke up with me... he was so sad. I mean, obviously this is why he targets married women..."it can never be." From day one. Sooo Bridges of Madison County. And if she does get pissed...what's she gonna say? Who's she gonna tell?? She's not going to out herself. Anyway, he was so bummed out, and we were both so torn apart (ahem) and this was on IM of course...I'm crying. But I really understood. I'm understanding like that. ;) But then he says...are you going to treat me like shit now? And I was like...what?? Of course not. "No," I say, "I love you." I probably said something asinine about us kissing each others' tears away. But..that little voice said it..*he's done this before.* But I was so upset my world was upside down anyway, I didn't really listen to the voice.

The other thing he did and I think I believe him in retrospect...is that he had written me several poems, and when he was breaking up with me, he got very emotional about it, and kept talking about the poems. Said he wrote those for ME, that he only did that for ME, those were MY poems, and to save them and read them for times when I was down. (Um, hello, I'm down because of YOU!). He was very urgent about it. It was kind of weird, in the way that it didn't *quite* make sense at the time...but there was something damned different and important to him about those poems. Anyway, I think (and I really don't think i'm rationalizing this one), that he really hadn't done that trick before. Just remembering all his comments...anyway, I'm sure he's used them again though. lol

He wrote me a song too. Played it on the guitar for me over the phone. It went back to a previous conversation, the first really emotionally intimate conversation we had. And he based it on HIS words...so IOW..he laid the bait, by saying the words, and then "spontaneously" writing a song about it. But shit, he could have done that a dozen times!! It did reference things we talked about, but he could have driven that totally. I don't know, smoke and mirrors. Maybe he's creative with each chick, I don't know. Seems like a lot of work though.