Being stuck in the "inbetween"
Being stuck in the "inbetween"
For anyone here feeling at a stand still with recovery....
After I worked through Lisa's Steps 1-3 and moved into the next stages.....something was still keeping me "stuck".
I had "got it out" and detoxed from the brainwashing, the fog had lifted.
But....I then became stagnant for some time....like my progress came to a stand still.
yes, I was healthier emotionally; back to work, laughing again, enjoying my friends/family, getting out into the world.....but something was still holding me back and keeping me stuck.
For me, what kept me "stuck" and prevented me from moving forward, was feeling like I still needed to know that I was important to him.
Even though I knew from everything I read and from everything my therapist discussed with me about these people, that it wasn't really possible for me to have had an impact on him....I still needed to feel like I did.
My ego would not let me move completely forward, because I still did not want to accept that I meant nothing to him. I did not want to accept that everything "special" I thought I had with him....he has with whoever he is with.
He lives "in the moment" and maybe thought he loved me "in the moment"....but he does that with EVERY woman....therefore, making me insignificant and replaceable.
I didn't want to accept that to him I was insignificant and replaceable.....so I kept allowing myself to think that on some level, I meant something to him.
It was easier to do that than to wake up and be real with myself and accept the reality that I was nothing to him.
It was painful to really, finally let that go...
I was not the exception. I was not. Once I dealt with the pain of that.....I eventually started moving again.
I think if we are finding ourselves "inbetween" the "getting it" phase and the subsequent "continuing to move forward" phases....then likely there is still something there that we aren't dealing with or being honest with ourselves about.
For me, it was hanging on to the hope that even though I knew he was disordered...I still wanted to feel that I impacted him.
Once I faced that and really let that idea go....I became less stagnant and started moving forward again. That was my experience.
What is yours?
What do you feel is keeping you "stuck"??
Certainty about Everything
Sanity Check
Wanting to know I meant something
neverlookback
Oh my gosh, thank you...you all are a godsend.
TovaBella
stayingstrong78
happy1
Happy
Great thread SS78!
TLSM....
hi ladies, Its been awhile
Love your post, fooled no longer!
fooled no longer
this is a wonderful thread!!
Deidre
What's keeping me stuck is
pretty peeved
His tactics are, as you say,
Deirdre
Journey on...
The same thing
_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
I think the fact that you
I think for me if im being
scoop
I can relate
I Meant Nothing To Him
Thanks for sharing that. I
Yes!
Journey on...
Great post!
exhausted