I need some help please
I need some help please
I'm having a really really tough time. I screwed up big time and I'm trying to recover. Most of you may remember that about 3 weeks ago I broke NC with the Narc due to emergent issues at work. I got sent to work in the same area he works and things have been going down hill since. I've tried to remain civil due to work and I've talked to him WAY more than I should have. He started all the CRAP about how much he loves me, misses me, I've always been the one for the him, we were meant to be together, he wants to marry me (in a few years when his kids aren't so attached to the OWs KID), and more garbage and crap constantly. He played the poor pitiful me card and swore he had changed and begs daily for sex. He starts texting me at 5:45 am (when he leaves her headed to work) and text me until 6:15 pm (when he goes home to her) I missed work one day last week and he called my phone at least 20 times and sent multiple text messages that I didn't answer. He calls and text all day while he's at work but when he leaves I don't hear anything. He's at home with the chubby princess acting like she's the most important thing in his life. It's typical Narc bullshit! It bothered me a little at times but it also helped to realize he hasn't changed, will never change and that he's still a whore and a liar! It also answers the question of "do they treat the OW better" and the answer is HELL NO!
So I thought I'd been dealing with it OK. I thought it was amusing at times and at times I thought about how sick and twisted he really is. Sometimes it made me sad because I feel like I'm stuck again. A few times I believed him. It's been 3 weeks of complete insanity. I even told him I was dating somebody to try and get him to go away.
This morning I didn't get my 5:45 am text message and I didn't hear from him all day. I started getting anxious and curious and wondered why?? THAT IS A VERY BAD SIGN. I've got to go back to NC immediately! NOW!
Many of you may not understand this but it's very important for me. I want to keep my dignity and I don't want him to think I've quit talking to him again because I'm mad, hurt, jilted or pissed off. I don't want him to think he gets to me in any way. I don't want him to know he has that kind of effect because it gives him control!!!!! Does that make sense? He probably didn't contact me all day to get a response of me and I WILL NOT give it to him. I want him to think I don't give a damn what he does. I would like to stop all of this craziness but do it with my dignity still in tact.
I know I shouldn't worry about what he thinks but I DO NOT want him to have the power back and to think he got to me. I won't give him that again. I know I have to go back to NC and I know I have to do it ASAP but I need some help figuring out HOW. Our emergent work situation has passed so seeing him as much won't be a problem. THANK GOD! I know I screwed up letting it go this far so now I have to fix it. I really thought I was stronger than this. I was wrong!!!
Thanks in advance for your help! I love having this place to turn to and get honest help and great advice. All of you are so great!
Sara
All of you are right
A True Narc at his best! It's
I understand your anxious
This is
I can still smile
Neverlookback
Believe in yourself!
Terri
wish they were,
Weelllllll Sara...
I can't even imagine what it
Staying Strong
well, honestly, I really wish
Stayging Strong
oh god, ex N is a dentist.
Is he a dentist in Floria?
Happy
GOD! That guy was such a
dentalas
Dr. Pepper is one of my