I blocked him..

Sorry for the long posts, I have a super bad connection. Have a nice day! And Gosh.. I wish sometimes life would be easier on me, this whole Narc thing gets me so dizzy, I often wonder if I`m the one who`s gone completely insane?.. I have to hold on..

Thank you guys! I don`t know what`s with me, I felt so emotionally bad since I`ve done this..I feel so guilty! And I know I shouldn`t because I have proofs that he really played me, like a fool. Before coming in the same country where I live, he stated for almost two weeks that he watches my favourite movies, he googled me and saw some of my old favourites, and POOF!..they appeared on his FB. At first, as always, I thought "Yeah, right, trying to hook e again". I was going crazy. Then I posted some stuff on my profile, that could be very well interpreted as me missing him ( love stories you know ). And then, Overnight, he switched. Totaly changed his taste, his mind everything, and I was like "WTF, am I crazy"? And usually he swtiches when he is supposed to come and see me, because that`s what a normal person in the head would do, if he heasn`t seen his "girlfriend" in a coupple of months. But no. He goes and parties with alll the OW, I see pictures of him on FB, laughs, stuff like that that I knew was going to happen. That`s why he never had the guts to tell me the "truth" about his "feelings" for me, because by being vague, doesn`t take any responsibility for nothig! And guess what! When he gets tired probably of wasted nights and screwing OW, gets back to another country, starts posting stuff like "Baby, angel, I`ll pray to see you/ When my sins are washed away" I mean C`mon! Do I look like that much of a fool? That`s where I snapped and decided to block him completely. What is this, a normal person in the head can`t wait to be with his loved one, when he heas time. Doesn`t have sex with OWs and then comes back like a baby to "mommy", like nothing is changed. Is so hard for me these days, because as I said before, I don`t have people to toalk to about this. Even close friends don`t get the full picture and impact of this. My family, declares me legally insane, because with all this, I didn`t have the energy for anything to do for myself. The thing is, now I wake up in the morning thinking I`ve done a terrible mistake that I`m going to regret. Ive dreamed him 2 times. But anyhow, I hope I`ll get better, and I know deep down I had to do this, for both of us. I catch myself missing that "idea of him", that illusion of a boy next door, because I hardly doubt that anyone who has real feelings for someone, the next day appears in photos with OW. And then comes back. And then again. It doesn`t make sense! Thank you for your support, this is my only hope to heal. Everyone else expects me to "just get over this".

Thank you guys! I don`t know what`s with me, I felt so emotionally bad since I`ve done this..I feel so guilty! And I know I shouldn`t because I have proofs that he really played me, like a fool. Before coming in the same country where I live, he stated for almost two weeks that he watches my favourite movies, he googled me and saw some of my old favourites, and POOF!..they appeared on his FB. At first, as always, I thought "Yeah, right, trying to hook e again". I was going crazy. Then I posted some stuff on my profile, that could be very well interpreted as me missing him ( love stories you know ). And then, Overnight, he switched. Totaly changed his taste, his mind everything, and I was like "WTF, am I crazy"? And usually he swtiches when he is supposed to come and see me, because that`s what a normal person in the head would do, if he heasn`t seen his "girlfriend" in a coupple of months. But no. He goes and parties with alll the OW, I see pictures of him on FB, laughs, stuff like that that I knew was going to happen. That`s why he never had the guts to tell me the "truth" about his "feelings" for me, because by being vague, doesn`t take any responsibility for nothig! And guess what! When he gets tired probably of wasted nights and screwing OW, gets back to another country, starts posting stuff like "Baby, angel, I`ll pray to see you/ When my sins are washed away" I mean C`mon! Do I look like that much of a fool? That`s where I snapped and decided to block him completely. What is this, a normal person in the head can`t wait to be with his loved one, when he heas time. Doesn`t have sex with OWs and then comes back like a baby to "mommy", like nothing is changed. Is so hard for me these days, because as I said before, I don`t have people to toalk to about this. Even close friends don`t get the full picture and impact of this. My family, declares me legally insane, because with all this, I didn`t have the energy for anything to do for myself. The thing is, now I wake up in the morning thinking I`ve done a terrible mistake that I`m going to regret. Ive dreamed him 2 times. But anyhow, I hope I`ll get better, and I know deep down I had to do this, for both of us. I catch myself missing that "idea of him", that illusion of a boy next door, because I hardly doubt that anyone who has real feelings for someone, the next day appears in photos with OW. And then comes back. And then again. It doesn`t make sense! Thank you for your support, this is my only hope to heal. Everyone else expects me to "just get over this".

Thank you guys! I don`t know what`s with me, I felt so emotionally bad since I`ve done this..I feel so guilty! And I know I shouldn`t because I have proofs that he really played me, like a fool. Before coming in the same country where I live, he stated for almost two weeks that he watches my favourite movies, he googled me and saw some of my old favourites, and POOF!..they appeared on his FB. At first, as always, I thought "Yeah, right, trying to hook e again". I was going crazy. Then I posted some stuff on my profile, that could be very well interpreted as me missing him ( love stories you know ). And then, Overnight, he switched. Totaly changed his taste, his mind everything, and I was like "WTF, am I crazy"? And usually he swtiches when he is supposed to come and see me, because that`s what a normal person in the head would do, if he heasn`t seen his "girlfriend" in a coupple of months. But no. He goes and parties with alll the OW, I see pictures of him on FB, laughs, stuff like that that I knew was going to happen. That`s why he never had the guts to tell me the "truth" about his "feelings" for me, because by being vague, doesn`t take any responsibility for nothig! And guess what! When he gets tired probably of wasted nights and screwing OW, gets back to another country, starts posting stuff like "Baby, angel, I`ll pray to see you/ When my sins are washed away" I mean C`mon! Do I look like that much of a fool? That`s where I snapped and decided to block him completely. What is this, a normal person in the head can`t wait to be with his loved one, when he heas time. Doesn`t have sex with OWs and then comes back like a baby to "mommy", like nothing is changed. Is so hard for me these days, because as I said before, I don`t have people to toalk to about this. Even close friends don`t get the full picture and impact of this. My family, declares me legally insane, because with all this, I didn`t have the energy for anything to do for myself. The thing is, now I wake up in the morning thinking I`ve done a terrible mistake that I`m going to regret. Ive dreamed him 2 times. But anyhow, I hope I`ll get better, and I know deep down I had to do this, for both of us. I catch myself missing that "idea of him", that illusion of a boy next door, because I hardly doubt that anyone who has real feelings for someone, the next day appears in photos with OW. And then comes back. And then again. It doesn`t make sense! Thank you for your support, this is my only hope to heal. Everyone else expects me to "just get over this".

Thank youuuu! Hoping for the best :)