Weird things your narc did....Chime in!

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Jul 2 - 12PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

never again 115

"A mother will take any abuse in order to allow her child a normal existence!" your words explain exactly why he got you into this mess. they are the answer to my mess too. Women who can truly walk away and not have to consider anyone but themselves, are the lucky ones.
Jul 1 - 11PM
NeverAgain115's picture

STRANGE things....

There are hundreds, but here is one that stands out in my mind! At his condo waiting for other people to join us - I find out that they have cancelled and tell him. I notice he tests how his breath smells on his hand when he thinks I'm not looking - two seconds later, he grabs me around the waist and says "do you still want me?" - we had not ever had sex, but had done the heavy makeout, etc. (He claimed after the heavy makeouts that since I was serving as his publicist, he was no good at relationships, and if we were to become involved romantically - he would mess it up in about 6 months time and I would hate him - therefore removing all of the pr opportunities I had secured for him to tout his new "medical model".) Narc, narc, narc bark!!!! So he is grabbing me, and I admit, I wanted to see how far he would go - unfortunately, I had been in a sexless marriage for over five years - and at the time, did not realize he was NPD - he then proceeds to rip my jeans off in lightening time, throw me over the bed, pick me back up and awkwardly carry me to the other side of the bed (?), threw me back on the bed and ripped my panties off (no interest in the shirt, undoing the bra - and goodness, I wondered why as I am a 36DD - and just thought at least he would want to look....NOPE!!! He then proceeds to strip his jeans off and decides to "tease" with his member - during this - I noticed (oddly) that he was looking straight ahead and seemed to be emotionally dis-attached from the whole thing - he continued for a couple more minutes (I was thinking things would be different when we really got into it) - but then, much to my disbelief, he pulls back, zippers his penis back into his pants and smiles and loves my expressions of frustration!!! He then told me that when he has sex, he hears a song in his head, and when the song is over....THAT'S IT! ALL DONE! Exactly like a toddler done with a toy! I picked myself up, dressed and stormed out of the condo with him chasing me telling me that I would always get and deserved the biggest hug from him. I was so physically disgusted, that once I drove away, I had to pull over on the side of the road and throw up! He is severe and a freak of the highest order! Thank you all - I knew I could only tell you all this!
Jul 2 - 6PM (Reply to #56)
sunny 523
sunny 523's picture

Ewwww!! How gross....I would

Ewwww!! How gross....I would have been sick, too. Yuck!
Jul 2 - 2PM (Reply to #55)
Erali's picture

Holy shit! What a tool!

Holy shit! What a tool!
Jul 5 - 11AM (Reply to #54)
Used's picture


Jun 30 - 9PM
Tinker's picture

great topic! my N told me

great topic! my N told me when we first started dating and i wanted to spend more time together, to date other men. he said he was looking for a woman with a life! later on, he threw it in my face that i dated, but i have emails where he admits he told me to. when i got engaged a year later to someone else, he told me that he had 3 kinds of stage 3 cancer and didn't want me to see him sick which is why he told me to date! it's 2 years later and he's still 30 lbs overweight and no sign of cancer. one time something happened with my daughter and i sat in front of him and was crying. he just sat there. i probably cried 2 or 3 times in 3 years and he said he was tired of my crying and whining! we even talked about his being devoid of empathy. i told him he'd better fake that better in the future with other women:) i'm sure we could all go on and on...
Jul 5 - 11AM (Reply to #52)
TraumaMamma's picture


My guy said he "survived" melanoma. Without any treatment. Chemo, radation, etc. Never even had a follow up. He is deathly afraid of the sun and watches his diet so as "not to feed the cancer" But melanoma is deadly... One would think after surviving such an event one would follow up and get rechecked. But no...he continued to be preachy about my TANNING. And I go to a dermatologist EVERY year for a total body scan. And have had moles removed that were large or bothersome. What the heck!!?!? I think he was full of shit.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache

Jul 3 - 12AM (Reply to #51)
rosedewittbukater's picture

OMG me too

"I want you to date other people" Yeah I got this too even after almost 2 years of being together. N "felt too much pressure". I asked "you really want someone else touching me?" to which N replied "that's not the point...yaddah yaddah yaddah narc speak, narc speak" You get the idea. Mine hardly ever seemed interested in my top half either. Most of the time he wouldn't even bother taking off my shirt and when I tried to take it off he would get impatient and actually stop me from removing it. Sick MF-ers
Jul 1 - 7PM (Reply to #50)
onwithmylife's picture


Mine, when i went to stay with him after i sold my place, and was not sure where to move to, he never offered for us to live together in a committed relationship, I was crying in the bedroom, so unsure of my future, and he comes in and says 'stop your crying be happy you have a roof over your head and food on the table'and his son and wife were coming over so cheer up, never did he put his arms around me or comfort me in any way, the man is inhuman and made of stone...
Jun 30 - 3PM
ValiditySeeker's picture


Walked down a sidewalk to a movie theatre and when I paused at a door to a bar to see if I knew the band that was playing, he got a weird look on his face and completely ran the other direction. Still to this day don't know what that was about. He got a room alone in college after having a roommate for a semester. He said that he simply couldn't live with another human being. That should have been a redflag. He was paranoid about germs but refused to wear a condom during sex. There are other things but for the most part, he left me scratching my head a lot.
Jun 30 - 8AM
TNR1's picture

After the Arnold scandal

After the Arnold scandal broke, Mr. N sent me a text message that he in essense wanted to have a child with me so that we could continue to have sex and he could take zero responsibility.
Jul 27 - 4AM (Reply to #47)
Survivor101's picture

Sounds familiar

Mine sent me a text saying that "I will have you above or underneath me again one day and that's a promise" narc speak it could mean anything especially to him! Sick freaks! I wish mt body didn't respond to him the way it does though, urgh so frustrating maybe it's coz he didn't touch me in over 6 years and when he did nothing much happened that and he slept on the couch since after my daughter was born. So many things I still scratch my head about.
Jun 29 - 6PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

We were at a BBQ

and I wanted to go get cigs so we got in his car and he immediately said, "Those people are all a--holes!" I said, "They've all been really nice to me." He started yelling, "If your going to have an attitude with me then get the F--K out of my car now! GET OUT!!" I got in my car and left and he went back and hung out with all the people he just called a--holes!
Jul 2 - 11PM (Reply to #45)
deecbee's picture

LOL, yep! This has happened a

LOL, yep! This has happened a few times with me!
Jul 2 - 12PM (Reply to #44)
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture


Jun 29 - 4PM
Susan32's picture

Gary Johnson

He's the first registered GOP candidate for the presidential race next year. He's also the former governor of New Mexico. Back in the day, when Gary was governor of New Mexico, he was into being an Iron Man triathlete. The ex-Psych prof idolized Gary... had a total man-crush... and he'd also constantly insult Gary Johnson's wife (who passed away recently from cancer, not long after she&Gary divorced) My classmates&I were quite ready to have a "love offering" to set him up on a date with Gary. He was intensely jealous of Gary Johnson's wife. Now that Gary is single again...
Jun 29 - 7AM
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Disappearing in the store

One time we stopped by a giant Target just so I could use the ladies room. When I went in, he was waiting right outside the bathrooms. When I came out, he was nowhere to be seen, so I assumed he decided to use the men's room. So I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. He just happened to leave his cell phone in the car on this occasion, so I couldn't call him from mine to find out where he was. So I went out to the car to see if he was there. Nope. Went back in the store and continued waiting around the bathroom area, although I started walking around looking in that general vicinity. I actually started to get worried and asked a store employee to check the men's bathroom in case something happened to him in there. No, he wasn't in there. Finally, he came meandering back towards the front of the store telling me he'd gone to the electronics section, saying that's what men do when they're in a store. Really? In my experience, they wait for you by the place they left you or TELL you first where they will be so you can find them. They don't just wander off for 20-30 minutes like a little kid, especially without their phone. At the time I thought, how dense and inconsiderate. Now I think he did it on purpose as part of his game-playing bullshit. What an asshole.
Jun 29 - 7PM (Reply to #41)
Erali's picture

That was totally on purpose.

That was totally on purpose. I've been reading a lot of stories here about the disappearing act lately, and it looks pretty common. Which among these folks, means intentional. I got it all the time (including sneaking out of the back door of bars). It's actually kind of funny (in a ridciulous, "are you for real?" way) once you imagine the thought process (if they deserve that much credit) of coming up with a plan to annoy someone by doing something so socially inappropriate.
Jun 30 - 6AM (Reply to #40)
onwithmylife's picture

smitten kitten

nine did that a lot and here I was wandering all over the store looking for him, the best one for me was when years ago we went for a kike at a town in the mountains and we were walking along and came upon a very marshy area, real wet and muddy, I said to mhim,i do not want to ruin a good pair of shoes by going through all the muck, did you think he would say OK and we tun around and go back HAHAHA, what is the next joke, he keeps walking on without me to leave me in the woods by myself, a small petite woman and for me to walk the 3 miles back to civilization, if an ax murderer had walked by, I would be a goner, what an inconsiderate, self absorbed fool, cares for NO ONE but his stupid self!!I waited so long for him by the car that I finally gave up and went to talk to a guy who owned a cabin down from the forest and 2 hours later he shows up!!!Like no big deal, who cares about onwithmylife, FOOL
Jun 28 - 9PM
ifinallygotit's picture

he emailed me that he went on a job interview

while I was on vacation. But he had actually packed his car and moved across the country for a job that a friend gave him without telling me while I was out of town. He then called a few weeks later and said "I got the job but we are not breaking up, is your car ok?". As many of you know he just showed up 11 and a half months later acting like he was away on a two week business trip... He had zero insight into his behavior - it seems true what many say on here that Narcs have no sense of time... I still love him (but also fear the impact of his crazy behavior!).
Jun 28 - 8PM
reallyconfused's picture

He got hit by a car on his

He got hit by a car on his bike. He called to tell me that and also that he wasn't going to be in touch for awhile. From what I could tell it wasn't anything serious; just a few bruises and a chipped tooth. I would text him to see how he was doing, but he was really unresponsive, very short answers like "i'm fine." It was almost as if he was embarrassed by what happened to him. All I wanted to do was show that I care and he shut me out telling me at one point he doesn't want to talk to anyone as if he was in a horrible accident instead of a minor one. I thought it weird..
Jun 28 - 2PM
prettypeeved's picture

After having a shower he

After having a shower he would absolutely cover himself in moisturiser. It was like OCD or something.
Jun 28 - 6AM
Hunter's picture

Mine was going to come visit

Mine was going to come visit Chicago, but of course at the last minute he has no one to watch his DOG! The OW who was to watch Dog at the last minute couldn't because her dog was in heat and his dog couldn't be around her dog. He never bought a plane ticket in the first place, I had hotel and Dinner reservations made all over the city. He never showed, I went out with my Girlfriend instead, and he got pissed. WTF? Assclown, hahaha, he couldn't control Hunter. Looking back My Dog whisperer is textbook. "LOSER" Hunter
Jun 28 - 6AM (Reply to #32)
janine's picture

another one Narc couldn't control

Standing infront of two restaurants on our first holiday together I wasn't sure which one to go into. Narc of course never made any decisions! Reading the menu I turned around and found him gone. First I was puzzled, then annoyed, then I decided I'd have a good time without him. Went into the restaurant, enjoyed a great meal with much attention from the waiters, practised what bits of the language I'd picked up and was invited to a bar by some locals. Much more fun than I'd had with Narc before. After some drinks and flirting I went back to our hotel where sulking Narc was staring into his notebook, kissed him on the cheek and told him what a great evening he had missed out on. My first lesson in passive aggression, his first in who he was dealing with. Need I say he never tried this on again?
Jul 27 - 4AM (Reply to #35)
Survivor101's picture


Hahahaha brilliant!
Jun 28 - 2PM (Reply to #33)
Gerri's picture

Disappearing Narcs

Hi Janine - My Narc used to do the disappearing act. Went out with a few mates and he claimed he couldn't find anyone - so went home. We were in a tiny bar! Also he was supposed ot meet me in a club - but claimed that he got mugged (twice) on his way there and had his phone taken! Yeah right - queue the a) Let's get the girlfriend worried because I don't turn up at the club. b) An excellent chance to throw his cheap phone away and get the girlfriend to by him a decent one on credit (coz the n can't get credit) It's mental when you think back and everything just clicks into place.
Jun 29 - 5AM (Reply to #34)
janine's picture

Hi Gerri

Yeah, it's mental. Let's get others worried.....probably works on those that haven't had the pleasure of dealing with the friggin' nutcases before. Or should I be saying with passive aggressive cowards? Hopefully you did not spend much on that phone for your Narc!
Jun 28 - 6AM
Hunter's picture


Gosh the more you tell me about this guy, the more I see why you miss him, NOT! Hunter
Jun 27 - 5PM
dolphingirl's picture

they are the weird thing

The ex-narc invited me to go out to dinner to meet some old friends of his from college who were in town. (btw\the only friends he had were friends from college- 30 years ago, he was fiercely devoted to them, and had no local friends) He emailed me about an hour before he was supposed to pick me up and told me that he had invited his ex-wife to go and that if I still wanted to go I could meet them at the resturant. So I emailed him back and told him to go and have fun because I was thinking of going out with an ex of mine he called right away and told me that the dinner was off and he was all depressed and wanted to take me out. these guys are pathetic
Jun 27 - 3PM
mystwoman's picture

Gee, there are so many

Gee, there are so many stories to tell. These guys are such weirdos. lol. I think one of the best ones of xnh had to do with him going on a job interview. Nothing in this world is ever good enough to suit him. This includes his job, his wife, his home, whatever. Therefore, after months of being a complete and utter pain in the butt to me about wanting to go work in another city, he finally managed to get an interview early one morning. I had pointedly told xnh that I was NOT changing jobs just because he wants to change his, AND that I was not selling my house or moving if he got a job 100 miles away from home either. He can take whatever job he wishes, but he'll be commuting to it every day without any involvement from me. Since xnh was just sure the world would explode if he didn't go somewhere else to work, he started job hunting without thinking about any of the impacts from doing this. On the morning of the interview, xnh slept through his alarm, and was running late (as usual - xnh is habitually late everywhere). In addition, xnh was always worried about his "image" and how he appears to others so he drove an overpriced Ford Mustang Cobra with custom paint and wheels. The whole nine yards worth. On this particular morning, xnh got into his fancy car (late) to drive 100 miles to this interview, and (of course) realized that he had absolutely no gas in the car for the trip. Apparently xnh blasted into the gas station in a huge flurry of drama, shoved the nozzle into the tank, filled his car, and then blasted out of the gas station equally fast (and with I'm sure as much drama and tire squealing as he could manage so that everyone would notice him). When he arrived at the interview (late), the guy that was interviewing him was standing at the door waiting. Xnh probably thought he had this guy in his pocket because the first thing the guy said was something to his Cobra. As it turns out, xnh found out that the comment didn't have as much to do with this guy being impressed with his car as it did with xnh still having the nozzle and hose to the gas pump hanging out of his gas tank. rofl. Needless to say, xnh did NOT get the job, and he also got to stop back at the gas station on the way home to pay for the broken gas pump AFTER he got pulled over on the freeway because the gas station had called the police when he drove off with half of their pump, and turned in xnh's license plate number on his car. When he finally got home, this somehow all became MY fault because *I* didn't wake him up on time, and I was "just trying sabotage him while making him look stupid so that he wouldn't get the job". DAMN, I must be a whole lot more talented and powerful than I thought I was!!! lol. We had a huge fight because I wouldn't apologize to him for not making sure he was up when his alarm went off. This is a "man" (loosely speaking) that was about 45 years old at the time).

God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.