Silence

Wow, it seems as though these relationships seem to center around SILENCE.

There is the oh so familiar silent treatment that the PDs dish out. Starting with not always answering their phone or calling back, and then flat out ignoring you for days, weeks, and months. All of which eventually generates silence from their victim as the only resort to put and end to the misery.

Since the termination of my personal relationship with a PD I have become aware of another kind of silence that is effectively used by these abusers. Since they all seem to use the same tactics, I'm going to assume it doesn't just pertain to my experience.

I still have minimal contact due to working conditions and as I have been able to distance myself emotionally I have noticed that he is a man of little word at all times.

I relate this to the phrase, "give 'em enough rope and they'll hang themselves." In other words, people in general are uncomfortable with silence, and tend to keep talking to fill the void.

I have noticed, in my situation that he will present himself and not speak, but do something that will cause me to have to wait for him. When I liked him, I would always start up a conversation, without noticing he never initiated one.

For example. He was gone on vacation last week. In his absence I never commented to any of his co workers about him or asked where he was. Actually it was pleasant to not have him around and I secretly hoped he was fired or quit. (No such luck.)

This week I went in to deliver a package and he was back and he signed for it. I gave him the signature board, and he stood there for what seemed like forever, looking at the box like he'd never seen one before. Finally he signed. It may seem insignificant, but he took so long in order to give me the opportunity to ask him about where he'd been. To give me the opportunity to "hang" myself.

He does it a lot. As I look back I always initiated EVERYTHING.

This is the type of abuser that will NEVER contact you after the final D&D. They want you to believe, as they do, that contacting you would be groveling, and they are far above that. Everyone must come to them because they are soooo special.

Play it safe and stay silent whether they are in your presence or not, because they would love to see you hang yourself.