Counselor's Take
Counselor's Take
i have been seeing a counselor about my N, and her perspective is interesting.
Albeit she is certainly not taking the N's side, she doesn't believe he is a terrible person...she believes he is someone that needs to have women like him and will do whatever it takes to be accepted over and over again by different women. She didn't even like the word "manipulative" because she doesn't think that is his intention...he just says and does what it takes to keep everyone happy so he isn't abandoned. Yes, it isn't a happy way to lead his life and he's always looking over his shoulder, but it's how he lives his life and he will never change,
With that said, it's my behavior toward him that is important. If I accept that is how he is, and can live with hearing from him every two weeks, and enjoy the time spent with him, then there isn't a problem. If I am hurt, anxious and non-functional...then I need to get out.
So the last time I saw him, it was rough sex and him telling me what a great friend I am, and then he was out the door. Then he left town without telling me, sent one text to let me know he wasn't available, but would love for me to drop food by his house sometime soon,
I try to believe that I do accept who he is and can live with it. But I'm fooling myself and am anxious and humiliated every time I give in to him, and then he disappears. But then I vacillate and think, well...he does care about me...so maybe I can live my life and just enjoy those times we are together. But it isn't working so well. I may be selfish, but I don't really like sharing. ;-)). Sitting in my home paralyzed with depression doesn't seem particularly healthy.
So still confused but trying to get him out of my center and live the healthy and fun life I had two years ago.
Thanks for listening.
She's saying he needs another narc
Your therapist is summarizing
Ok I may be missing something
Therapists
YOUR NEEDS NOT HIS!
Change your counselor and
be
Oh my
Perhaps your counselor would
You don't seem too happy to
I'm sorry for laughing! I
as long as you keep this
I totally agree with Deidre
______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.
Dear Nancy
I had one therapist tell me
So in otherwords, if you can
Journey on...
Nancyw
please please please
Nancy's
Edit
My therapist's take
Not
ABANDON HIM!
It's not that simple....
last night
Nancy
ADIOS!
Crumbs....
As soon as you started the
Nancy, you just described
Journey on...