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Calling You By Your Name

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#1 Mar 15 - 1PM
seancunningham
seancunningham's picture

Calling You By Your Name

Did any of you notice that the N further devalues you by not calling you by your name? I thought of that today. I never heard N call me by my name the whole time we were together. It was either "baby" "sweetness" or my personal favorite "puppy feet". BLAAAACH, I almost lost my lunch!!!

I love hearing my name said by the person I love. But the operative word is LOVE. Oops, almost forgot, they're incapable of feeling any.

Terms of endearment are great, but when it comes down to it....we love to hear our name. I don't use sugary words when I'm involved with someone. I always use the person's name. I just think the mushy love names sound insincere. That's just me.

Mar 15 - 4PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my name

the only time he called me by my name was when he was taking down to me...and he would spit my name at me,like it was dirt in his mouth...he tried to never call me anything at all, and there were times in large stores where he would actually WHISTLE for me like a dog, rather than speak my name..i really really hate him....
Mar 15 - 2PM
notadoormat
notadoormat's picture

Duckface

Mine called me Duck Face. See - it could always be worse!!!! :-)
Mar 15 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

oh my!

Duck Face, how flattering! But better than being a F*** Face like him, eh? Speaking of puppy...mine called me PUP all the time. But I gather that's a term of endearment from his country because I've heard others say it. But maybe he was calling me his little lap dog who exists just to adore him...!
Mar 15 - 2PM
ForeverLearning
ForeverLearning's picture

This Is Also Due To Name Confusion

They have found that generic pet names help prevent them from calling you by another lover's name, which is a big no-no of course, especially since they are usually banging several people at once. Pet names mean they don't have to keep all their lovers names straight. Its the lazy way of doing things. The 'Puppy Feet' name is especially interesting. I will hazard a guess here and say he had another lover who he called Puppy Feet, and there was probably a story behind the Puppy Feet name with the other lover. At the very least it probably got a laugh out of that other lover. So then he just went ahead and used this pet name on you too, even though it made no sense (their brains aren't logical so it really doesn't matter to them that it doesn't make sense). They are such weirdos.
Mar 15 - 1PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Puppy feet???

WTF???! That's all I have to say...WTF?!! Lol! (I'm not laughing at you, it's that dumbshit that's hysterical!)
Mar 15 - 1PM
dysenchanted
dysenchanted's picture

Using your name

The only time he ever used my name was when he was angry, or trying to intimidate me. He made my name sound like curse word. Most of the time I was "hon" or "babe". I suppose that's part of the objectification thing they do.
Mar 15 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
bitterdestiny
bitterdestiny's picture

The one girl I know of she

The one girl I know of she said he would say her name over and over and over again like he was trying to remember it. He still calls me by my name once in awhile but I think I've been such a pain to him he will never forget my name lol
Mar 15 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

saying your name

saying your name is used by NLP practioners in their mind control/hypnosis and by cult persons in the love-bombing phase of luring & entrapment. Later, because they see you as an OBJECT - they will not use your name... some FORGET IT!! I know of many pathologicals who call their partner: honey, baby, sweetheart, my sweetie, lover... etc. You're no longer worthy of having a name... because you're a THING. exNH sometimes called me WOMAN... like it was a putdown. "You come here and do what I say, woman." One of the last times he did it I put on the dog's collar and barked at him. He was not amused but I sure was! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 15 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Monica
Monica's picture

Barbara...please add "kid" to your list.....

When he started calling me that...I dumped his sorry ass for good. The first year and a half he called me by my name. When it became "kid" (and he was younger than I am), I knew for certain (it was that final straw) that I had to give him the boot. Forever. Case closed. I knew it was a putdown. I didn't deserve that nor did I want that.