Therapists . . .

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#1 May 4 - 3PM

Kelly

Therapists . . .

I've been looking forward to beginning therapy for weeks. Today was my first appointment and SHE DIDN"T SHOW! I had her colleague call her to see where she was. She told me she will be about 20min late. Then I get a call from her. She said she's been having car trouble and thought she would be able to make it in, but got caught in traffic and couldn't find my number. . . .
Well, she found my number fast enough after her colleague called to remind her that I was already sitting there waiting.

I'm supposed to trust these people??? I'm going to see her because I'm having trust issues and the help is playing games?????

#2 May 4 - 7PM

narcsurvivor

I also had this problem

I also had this problem recently. I showed up on time for my appt. She was sitting at her desk with no other patients around. I said, "Hi, I'm here for my appt." Then, another worker had to do a brief test (5 min) on me before I could see the doctor. When I came out of the room (next door to the doctor), she stepped out and told the receptionist that she would be back. She didn't even look at me. I made a stink and had everyone looking for her, asking them if she does this often and what made her walk away knowing I was there and having seen me? Hello??? Half an hour later, she comes back. When she came back, she offered only a scant apology. I thought there was something wrong with her from the first time I saw her...I'm getting good at not taking people's bullshit anymore and not feeling bad if I speak up.

#3 May 4 - 6PM

Monica

Narcmagnet...get another therapist if you must...

I wasted over a year on my first therapist. He never got it. I was never able to "break free" of my N/P while I was seeing him. So I got another therapist. She got it in the first session, without ANY prompting from me, just my telling her my story. She has been amazing and, since seeing her, I have stayed strong with NC and firm in not ever taking him back. Don't give up....find or ask for another therapist if things have started off on the wrong foot with this one. You deserve more, you deserve the best, you deserve to have someone who can help you through this and help keep you strong and moving toward healing. I feel so fortunate to have found a great therapist...but I wasted a year with another who did nothing for me and never "got it."

#4 May 4 - 6PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

it's not lost on me...........

THERAPIST.......THE RAPIST....... what would freud say? i think a lot of them are mind fuckers in their own right...

#5 May 4 - 6PM

Susan32

Don't trust everybody

The first therapist I went to thought I was simply delusional and inappropriate. To make matters worse, she was one of my ex-Narc's colleagues, so there was a professional/personal compromise. I got the usual "you're engaging in inappropriate behavior" NOT "his bullying and humiliation of you is wrong."

#6 May 4 - 5PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

my moron therapist......

when i told her i thought maybe i had complex PTSD she didn't know there was any such thing.....that really pissed me off..so she read up on it...and said...'wow...sounds like what you've got alright'.....i mean REALLY.... i could have gotten better therapy from any half decent bartender on the planet...

#7 May 4 - 4PM

foolmeonce

Therapists

I was actually in therapy right at the time the exN and I were starting to get involved (5 years ago). I told the therapist about him and all the crazy things I couldn't understand. How he would say one thing, do another. The history of cheating and discarding people, lying, dishonesty everything. Her only advice was maybe he's just a better friend, than life partner. If this incompetent bitch had mentioned the word narcissist to me, I would have been all over the internet researching it(this is the way I am wired) I would have seen all the red flags and would have gotten out. I really blame her and think that any therapist who does not even mention personality disorders to their patients should have their license revoked. Just think had she done her job, my entire life would have been different.

#8 May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #14)

Kelly

Seriously

Some of these therapists are just fools themselves. I really don't know who to trust anymore. I really don't. I trust myself. I'm so done. . DONE!

#9 May 4 - 4PM

quietude (not verified)

geesh

Sounds like some employees I deal with, "Running late, car trouble, I would have called you but my cell is dead..." Granted, some people really do have these issues, but I think that a professional, especially with a vulnerable patient waiting, was lame to not have your number to call you at least.

#10 May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #9)

Kelly

Lol!

She just called me again to apologize after I left a message on her bosses vmail to make a formal complaint. I'm going to put a complaint in writing and email it to him just to make sure he gets it. I'm still shaking.

#11 May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #10)

quietude (not verified)

you know...

I used to let stuff like this go all the time..."It's Okaaayyy", but I got tired of not standing up for myself. Good for you to call out unprofessional behavior. Be proud that you #1 made it on time, staying strong going into a difficult situation...you could have cancelled...I have thought of turning around many times having a panic attack on the way to my appts...#2 saying NO to not being treated well. (hugs!)

#12 May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #11)

Kelly

It's Okaaaaayyy

You know, that was actually the first thing to come out of my mouth. I told her I would wait for her to get there. Ten minutes later, I thought NOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAYY! I called her back and said I'm going to look for another therapist and that I'm not going to be coming in. Thanks for the hugs. This really got to me. I haven't felt this crappy in a while. I don't need this S@%T. Her boss just called to apologize again and actually tried to defend her by saying that he doesn't know her to lie and that car trouble unfortunately happens. I told him, "well, I have had car trouble before. She could have called instead of having me sit there waiting." He actually said, well, this could be a perfect way to explore feelings . . . HAHA trying to salvage this. It would have been my FIRST DAY!! I'm supposed to spend my first session with this woman talking about how crappy she made me feel?? These people get upwards of $200 a session!!! (I was to be on a sliding scale.) Guess that's why I wasn't important enough for her to call and let me know she was going to be an hour late. Liars. Shameful.

#13 May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #12)

quietude (not verified)

oh really?

He actually said that...explore feelings? Maybe ask if they have those Nerf hitting things they use in couple's therapy, and show her how you feel! heehee

#14 May 4 - 4PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

just talking about therapists.........

i hear you....i posted today about my rude, incompetent disinterested free therapist...i wonder how much money she made of the state of missouri for kicking my PTSD up 10 notches and snapping her gum..... mine had no interest in anything i said...and the things she did appear to listen to she didn't seem to believe...she told me to 'just get over it'...i could have gotten that from my bitch half sister for FREE..

#15 May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #2)

Kelly

I read your post this morning!

LMAO! I was thinking about it all day before this happened. What do you know? Some of these folks really do cause more harm than good.

#16 May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #3)

happydaysahead

crap !!

I am getting ready to head to my first therapy appt. Hopefully she will be ok !!

#17 May 4 - 4PM (Reply to #4)

quietude (not verified)

teesme

Good luck! Barbara posted some items ealier today on what to look out for...as in, certain things a therapist might say. Remember to describe symptoms and events...let her do the DX. Let us know! :))

#18 May 4 - 7PM (Reply to #7)

happydaysahead

Ok

Just got back. She seems to get the narcissist thing. First thing that came out of her mouth actually. I have another appointment next Monday. I think I will give this a chance. She is $85 an hour which is a heck of alot cheaper than others I have called and I feel pretty comfortable with her. So..........we will see. Wish me luck !!

#19 May 4 - 5PM (Reply to #5)

Barbara (not verified)

narcmagnet

PLEASE FIND ANOTHER THERAPIST!! remind her boss that for someone who probably has PTSD - her behavior reminded you of your abuser and triggered you badly. That oughta do it. the first therapist I ever had made things much worse. (it's part of this: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/07/22/barbaras-story#comment-13476 ) My last therapist was the best ever. Some of them actually get it! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#20 May 4 - 7PM (Reply to #6)

Kelly

I mean really?

I'm suffering with self esteem problems. My parents made me feel small, every guy I've been with (minus my first bf - bless his heart) has made me feel like toilet paper. This woman has the gall to say that she had to search through to the end of her voicemails to find my number. As an excuse for why she had trouble contacting me? Thank you for all the replies. Yes. This has definitely been a trigger for me. I remember waiting for my mother to pick me up from my 1st ballet recital when I was only six years old. It was daylight savings time, she forgot and dropped me off late, rather than stick around to see me perform, she thought it would be a more productive use of her time to go grocery shopping. So, I missed my recital and instead waited alone for an hour in my teachers empty apartment with her maid. Yeah. My mom really loved me. She did! Whenever I was sick or hurt, she was always there to show how much of a caring woman she was. Such a worrier, bless her heart.

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