fantasy love

It was my favorite, then he said it was "our story"...I thought that was so romantic at the time, and we did meet each other in our teens and "fell in love" blah, blah, blah :). After he started to D&D me I slowly woke up. He is No Noah, after all Noah didn't date rape Allie, and Noah wasn't a psychopath who had numerous extramarital affairs, and wanted to have another one with his high school sweetheart 25 + years later. He also saw himself as Brad Pitt's character "Tristan" in Legends of the Fall...he told me in more than one email as he was trying to lure me into a physical affair with him that unless I gave into my desires, I would "always be Susannah". Susannah is the character who kills herself in the end because she can never be with Tristan, the man she really loves. He would quote that movie alot...saying he was "the rock everyone broke themselves against" what a f*cking idiot. He was as good looking as Brad Pitt, but truly the most evil, empty "human" I've ever met. He also "ordered" me to pick up the book "conversations with God" by Neale Walsch, he said it would "enlighten" me. He claimed he didn't believe in a God that would punish you for sin, that there was no hell...etc. I saw this for exactly how he meant it, he can screw around and disrespect his wife with no guilt. Which he said many times. Thats when I began to think, he is NOT just a narcissist, he is a psychopath. No conscience, and no guilt, as he bragged to me about the 3 or 4 (I lost track) prior affairs, he told me "and she will NEVER find out" and if he had been standing in front of me, I bet I would have seen a satisfied smile on his lips. His wife is a hospice nurse, you can't make this sh*t up. No, I will never be able to watch the Notebook again, he ruined that for me.

Funny you mention this movie, because my N had this video and would watch it with me over and over again as if memorizing it to learn how someone should act when they are in love! He had lots of movies and when he watched them he studied the actors in this very intense manner. Sometimes when I would be with him in different setting his expressions would actually mimic some of these actors-- as if he really didn't know how to react properly. I always knew he was an actor in his own drama and I was co-star. Sometimes as his "lover" I felt I was playing a role and fulfilling expectations -- he was always very clear what those were.

Have been in love 3 times with lovely men, two of which I'm still in contact and it's over 20 years later and one who has become my closest friend. I'm 44 now. I don't count the exN at all, don't give a stuff about him, can't even remember the so called good times, they were so fleeting compared to the horrendous stuff, but I was with him 8 years 7 of which were dreadful looking back. Yuk, had much better sex with other blokes too and since him, once I'd been deprogrammed from thinking it was great.

I have felt love like that before .When i was 21 my first love and when i was 30 my second love .Will i put him down as my third love? .. yes i guess but i know there is a 4th out there and he will be ten times a better man than him ..Girlfriends dont give up on love , there are 3 billion men out there and although its hard to believe it now most of them dont have personality disorders (granted most of them need lots of work done on them to get them up to scratch ..but as women we have always known that lol) We where unlucky to come across psycopaths , and the chances of anyone of us ending up with another one is very slim now we know the red flags .. i just wished all our young people where schooled in personality disorders , its up to women like us to go foward and educate

I was thinking about this today. When i was with him i thought what i was feeling was an undying love for him. My heart would ache when i sensed that his feelings were indifferent for me. Looking back now, i think this was part of the mind manipulation to make me think this was real love. He would give just enough affections to give me hope then pull away leave me waiting and wanting him more. Like a challenge i had to conquer. Never really knowing if i was worthy enough to have him. I thought this was real love. Yes i believe i was just mind fucked. Here is the reality; He is really no great catch and if he were a real normal guy? I probable would have never given him a chance.

I was thinking about this today. When i was with him i thought what i was feeling was an undying love for him. My heart would ache when i sensed that his feelings were indifferent for me. Looking back now, i think this was part of the mind manipulation to make me think this was real love. He would give just enough affections to give me hope then pull away leave me waiting and wanting him more. Like a challenge i had to conquer. Never really knowing if i was worthy enough to have him. I thought this was real love. Yes i believe i was just mind fucked. Here is the reality; He is really no great catch and if he were a real normal guy? I probable would have never given him a chance.

I hope I never "love" like that again because that kind of "loving" meant sacrificing my own well-being, being manipulated, mistreated, disrespected, etc. I don't believe it represented true love at all.....even if we we felt that at the time. We were tricked into falling for a fake person who showed fake love.

I have never felt love like this - very intense, accepting, supportive, intimate, ...the main person in my life that I could always count on.... it felt so real and so deep. Fell hard for him. And I felt like he loved me just the same. No one has ever made me feel more loved and special and beautiful and wanted, etc. etc, etc. And it has maintained the same intensity for 20 years...it never faded...until of course D&D. So, like you, I feel like it was true love for me. I accepted him unconditionally and would do anything for him. Always wanted the best for him...etc. And like you, I feel like I will never believe in true love again. How could I have been so duped??? And it scares me reading WWLP - how she says everyone has this "soulmate" feeling. Does it mean that there is no such thing as a true soulmate - that is scary to me. This was a great question!

the same exact way, he made me feel he loved me just as much as I did him..obviously not..and I have lost the belief in true love.. and I was a huge romantic but I know my love for him was real and sincere, my feelings were very real and I dont think Ill ever love anyone the wild and passionate way I loved him EVER!!! He killed it all for me!!