Early Warning Signs

found the part about predatory self-esteem interesting.. that when everyone else's self-esteem is low, the abuser's is high. And when the family heals and their self-esteem goes UP, the abuser's goes DOWN. Wow. That says it all...... i didnt register this piece.. and am so glad to hear it...from things i look back on withexnh and narc they realy believed i would stay with them come hell or high water, and i dont even blame them thinking it...when i think what i put up with.. so that must of been such a schock when i not only dropped them a year ago.... i stuck to it... oh dear no wonder narc put on 3stone in weight[42pounds] b/c he went back on the drink and ate for england as well....so his esteem took a knock did it?... what a crying shame, and from the woman who he said to ...i had you in the palm of my hand... he should have closed his fist then!!!!

about the hierarchical / predatory self esteem part (the whole article was good, but that in particular). That was very evident in the ex, and I can see how I adopted the same way of propping myself up. It very much dictated who his / our friends were, as he had to be able to be at least one-up if not ten up! And if he wasn't on top of the pile, no one was happy. Thank gawd I saw that fade away as I got healthier. It always felt crappy and weak and usurious.