It takes two

I understand what you are saying, and from where I am now I would wholeheartedly agree, we have to grab hold of that rope, but I also remember being too 'brainwashed', too 'programmed' that I would grab hold and he would cut that rope as sure as I was holding onto it for dear life. I agree with what I read in an article posted today: "As well as being educated in Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, therapists also must educate themselves in the area of the Narcissism Epidemic Traits, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I would consider this vital for working effectively with the victims of narcissistic abuse, without this knowledge you will have no idea of what you are dealing with. Narcissistic Victim Syndrome goes way above the normal range of the abuse therapists are trained to work with. To complicate matters, many of the victims present with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS) symptoms resulting from years of mind control, and coercion. These conditions result from a victims bonding and emotional connection to their narcissistic abuser (The Stockholm Syndrome). These are the same symptoms that are often seen in prisoners of war, hostages, and cult members. Therapists must realize that these victims have lived in an environment that resembles a war zone, and in order to survive the horrendous abuse, they had to learn how to enter into the convoluted dance of the narcissist. This conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs) is unconscious, tucked well away from conscious awareness, priming them for further re-victimization if not properly addressed. Re-victimization is a phenomenon of this syndrome." It goes on to say that without this, and other specialized knowledge the therapist fails the client. This was in the article Michele posted today. Heard too many horror stories to know that few therapists actually know what they are really dealing with here. One of the main reasons I found this site was because I absolutely could not understand why I could not escape the 'hold' over me that this man had. I made a choice 1000 times and tried harder at it than at anything I had ever tried before to get him out of my life. I've seen Helldweller make that choice a whole lot and fall right back in to the same traps the master manipulators are famous for. She has more knowledge than I did, but the 'mindf*ck' is still just as difficult. There is an excruciating period of time in this struggle when no matter what you do, or how much you want to be free, they step up every tactic to keep you bonded to them. I believed the only way I would ever get free from this man would be to leave the state. I wasn't in the position to do it then, but I am working on it now and I am much much freer than many. Yet I still feel it is the only way to ever be free. I can't imagine what kind of hell it would be having to live next door or work with them. When i re read that statement by the therapist, it sounded to me as though she was under the belief that Helldweller was a willing party rather than a brainwashed, prisoner of war which is what we all were. almostlydia

the wave....a standing ovation :-) I wonder....if helldweller has really understood what the therapist meant. I am scared thinking that she could feel proud because it implies a sort of connection with that man for the future. I DO hope I am wrong. :-(((( helldweller, reassure me, please..........