Damn it

I also feel the same...i feel i am a child at heart and i opened that side of me to the narc ...only to get used . Things will change...you will get better...i keep telling this to myself. You take care.

Do not worry Jen, i think you can get it all back. Now all the time, you have given before to the N, you can give to yourself. You can look even better. And you are for sure much stronger women now. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

and for all of you. I thought I looked good when I was w/the N. It wasn't until after he left that people told me I looked the best I had in a very long time. They told me I didn't look drained anymore and the stress was gone from my face. Now mind you I don't see what they see. I see what all of you are seeing when we look in the mirror. I think the Ns have a lot to do with that. We weren't good enough for them. But...are we good enough for ourselves? I think we are and if not yet we will be. Our face shows whats in our soul. Ladies we have a soul. That should make us all smile! I don't turn heads the way I used to. And yeah that sucks! I'm 52 but don't look it. Honestly I don't. and lord help me I sure as hell don't act like it. but i think that's a good thing ;-) We need to remember our worth comes from within us. Not them or anyone else. yes I feel strong today unlike the weekend so I just want to say ladies we ARE ladies and our beauty comes from within. :-)

All my life people have been shocked to discover i had children Ive always looked so much younger than my years. When I was 40 my daughter was 20, but people thought I was 28. I was refused going into an 18 movie with my husband when I was 30, i didnt have any ID with me. I have always looked so young. Recently an an old friend came to stay, she knew me before I met the N ten years ago, and she came to stay and saw a picture of me and my son together 5 years ago. Who is that she asked, his girlfriend? No its me! But it looks nothing like you, you have changed! That was only 5 years ago, I defended myself. Well youve changed, i would not say that was you. For the first time in my life, Im not turning heads as much in the street. I feel old and apparently people dont think I look so young and radiant anymore. I feel less confident. I think that innocence has gone and Im reflecting what I feel inside. Shocking really.

jen the longer you are without the narc, i believe, you will gain that back, it will come back slowly. i look at pics of me before i met him, every pic a great big smile, so happy, genuinely happy, now fake smiles, loss of innocence, loss of happiness, and heartache that shines right through....you will get it back i promise.....xoxo Jaycee

when I look back at photos of me a year ago, even though I was with exN I looked much healthier....now my face looks so drawn and I look as though I have aged overnight...Looking forward to finally feeling free and having the twinkle return to my eyes. ```Live,Laugh,love```

This happened to me..It's in your head. You feel like you looked better because your remembering that time perios. I had this happen YESTERDAY. I looked at a pic and said "Wow, I had such light and beam in my smile." UGH I know the feeling.....

I have a picture of myself AFTER I got rid of the Narc. It was Easter, right after I'd gone running home to live with my little sister. I was so PALE. In comparison to the others in the picture, my skin was yellowish grey. I was thinner (lol) but I'd just quit smoking too. Anyway, it was such a terrible shock. I looked like one of my future cancer patients. Although quitting smoking and the weight gain has been a total bitch, I just LOOK better. There were times where I was too thin, and looked haggard and older than my age, from the times I was still in the relationship. Fresh new health and life are inevitable, Jen. Peace and serenity do wonders for your looks.

Beautiful Jen, I remember looking in the mirror shortly after the D&D. I didnt recognize myself. I can tell you this much. In time you regain what you have lost. Body, mind and soul. The appearance you see is in part from the stress you have endured through this experience but also the image of yourself that you see has been tainted by the Narc. What you see as negative others in your life may not see. It is your perception that has left you with a negative vision. So it is very important that your are good to yourself right now and do things that build your self esteem and make you feel good. Honey I promise you it will come back and you will feel and look healthier and better than you could ever imagine. Take time for you today. New haircut, exercise, new hobby, paint your nails etc.... Its the little things we do that produce the most change. So take that time today. Lots of Love Betty only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Hiya lovey.. Well now you know what you have to look forward to.. Getting yourself back to that healthy place.. You may cry about it now.. BUT I bet the pics will eventually kick your booty in to high gear to get yourself back on track.. I love that I look better now, than I did 2 months ago, when I was with him... Hugs....

I had the same experience. The innocence will come back in your face and your eyes. It did for me. You can look at my facebook and see a recent pic and compare it to one when i was with him. I may look 'hot' in the pics from when i was with him but I look soulless!! it will come back, i promise. not 100% of your innocence, but it will come back to your eyes and there will be a little sparke of wisdom added to it. Love you

Keep doing your personal work, stay NC, and you will be more beautiful, healthy and clear (inside and out) than ever before you know it. I felt same as you last year, like I'd lost something forever. Innocence, hopefulness, I felt so jaded and exhausted and looked it. Now I look and feel healthier than I have in probably 15 years, and the innocence is replaced by something more confident and more comfortable. I'm comfortable in my own skin! Yay! One day at a time girl...stopping smoking and eating well are great steps right now, as is NC. The rest will surely follow. There are bright days ahead of you. xoxo

My wedding picture is like this for me. So unaware of what was heading my way. I thought it was the happiest day of my life!! How little we realized at the time. You had a life once, and you will again. Once you clean your heart and soul up from the poison of such noxious abuse, you will be healthy and happy again!